Huh

Jan. 1st, 2017 08:40 pm
greenstorm: (Default)
[personal profile] greenstorm
Just realized, perhaps it should have been obvious, that I am very very cautious about being happy around folks who are not either deeply trusted or strangers. Happiness is when I'm vulnerable, when anyone can step in with a cutting remark and actually cut me, and when there is actually something valuable to be taken away.

I avoid being happy around a lot of folks for this reason.

Date: 2017-01-09 11:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] donnaidh-sidhe.livejournal.com
This is a thing that has frequently come up my life as well. I am used to "being taken down a peg" for daring to show happiness in my family of origin (especially when others were in bad moods, which was often). By the time I started having relationships with others, I learned that my showing happiness was a trigger for others to dump their shit on me.

It's only recently that I've begun to unpack that.

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