(no subject)

[greenstorm]

Three possible kinds of contact patterns with folks: regular or frequent substantive connections, regular check-ins with irregular or infrequent substantive connections, irregular or infrequent substantive connections.

Three other possible kinds of contact patterns with folks: supportive/hard times connections, celebratory/fun connections, maintenance/just whenever connections.

Makes sense to negotiate these in a friendship to make sure you're on the same page as the other person, right? So someone doesn't feel abandoned, or used for support, or like you hide rough times, or overcommitted, or whatever?

Comments

[yarrowkat]

yes, i can see that! a casual tone goes a long way towards making an important conversation feel un-charged and therefore accessible.

[greenstorm]

And a normalizing tone really, really works a lot of the time. Folks will take cues on whether something is acceptable from how it's presented.