Oh, But I Want...

...to bury myself in your life, to be completely surrounded in your world, to hide my head under warm blankets fresh from the dryer and fill my lungs until every cell orients towards you and quivers. The weight of my selfhood drags me back, though, leaves limbs cast out and above and away, sprawls my shoulder into the open air, splashes sunlight and rain in equal measure across my hair. The world is mine, now, and so you are not my world, only a part of it, only a piece, only only only. It's myself I need to bury myself in, now, if I want to be buried.

It's myself I need to lean on, and so it's myself I need to keep strong, to sacrifice and protect, so that I may be in turn protected.

Tonight I will sacrifice further words, sacrifice the strange compelling loneliness I feel, and turn grudgingly towards sleep. I have denied sleep for you, so many times. Tonight, I will embrace it for myself.

Post.

I haven't been posting as much lately.

Was at Devon's lovely party on Friday evening, worked Sat morning and as a result was totally incoherent until Sunday. Made a lovely paddle with Juggler on Sunday based on something I'd seen at Devon's. A masochist is someone who helps build their own beating impliments. Also got to chinatown for some bonsai pots, and looked at tools.

Got new rat water bottle.

Will get new rat cage from petcetera. They have 'chinchilla' cages for reasonable prices, will fix the rats-chewing-through-bottom-of-cage problem. Does anyone want a slightly chewed (very slightly) rabbit cage?

Today was a pretty awesome day, actually.