greenstorm | Moods and Decisions

Look how quickly this swings. The alcohol's out of my system now, I'm glad of it. The wall was coming up, that feeling as if plexiglass were between me and the world, and it's not enjoyable for me at all. Now the music (an effective mood-altering tool) is rolling across my back, Juggler's putting together dvorak keyboards next to me, and I'm very sleepy. Life is more right.

I have a decision to make soon, and I'd like any feedback-with-reasons that you guys have for me. My bosses can't let me have the four months off for the apprenticeship this summer. They're training me for interior maintenance, and need to know if they should spend the rest of the money on training or not. Basically, if I go this summer, I'm out of work. I'd thought I'd made stuff clear to them during the summer, but apparently the communication wasn't complete enough. There's nothing uncomfortable about our interaction over this, I still love the company, but here are my options. Lying, saying I'm going to stay with them and then dumping them in the summer's not an option.

1) I take a shorter course (the traditonal 2-week permaculture design course is available in a couple of places in BC, including the place I would've been going). They're happy to let me have up to a month off for this sort of thing. With this, I could
a) make local permaculture connections-- so I wouldn't be getting the four-month practice in an agroforestry system, but I could be building community here in vancouver with the relocalisation groups, etc.
b) save up money to take other smaller courses, like cob building, workshops, etc
c) save up money to do permaculture touring, visit washington, california, brazil, god knows where
d) not rely on my mom for a lot of tuition money, since I can cover the two-weeker myself
e) get some more time in with Graham before his possible going-away

2) Try to find a new job and save up enough money to take this thing, with mom's help, during the summer. Possibly not like the job much, and be sort of at a loose end come October (after the practicum is over)
a) loose ends are an energetic place to be-- I'd be in a state of change, and catapaulted god knows where
b) this permaculture thing, if it's not full of too much political eirdness, is a bunch of easy pre-made networking nearby (I understand from the vanpermaculture group there may be weird political infighting. Wait, may be? These *are* humans)
c) I'd really know my stuff by teh end of this. Given seed, I could walk into a survival situation with experience
d) this is scary. Potential, potential.

So I'm ridiculously bad at job-hunting, as something to take into consideration.

Interestingly, I'm not upset by this stuff. The combo of job and permaculture thing seemed too good to be true, and look, it is. I've also been thinking, now that I'm starting to have free time, that some sort of local network is good/important (family dinner has helped push me in this direction-- emotional sufficiency, physical self-sufficiency, etc, where 'self' is a group), that I'd hate to network in the wrong places, that I want to devote time to my home city. So... hm. This is sounding like I've made the choice already, sorta-kinda. But, thoughts?

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