greenstorm (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
greenstorm) wrote2010-05-08 06:17 pm
greenstorm) wrote2010-05-08 06:17 pm
Dirty Thirties, Ovulation, and Sex
Cut so you can avoid reading about these things if you like. I warn you, I'm not shy, and I'm not writing porn.
I'm feeling relentlessly melancholy today, irritable yesterday, and I would really like a lot of sex. Preferably I'd like to chew through a couple of boys, which honest to god doesn't go over well as a public declaration. Even less so the 'just stick me on a big lazy susan in the middle of the room and go to'.
I didn't used to be like this. The multiple-partner thing has always turned my crank. I love the... you know the look on a boy's face the first time he has a naked girl in each hand? That look is sheer joy. I'm most often in that equation, though, and almost never in the other one with a boy on each end. And, well, that's something I've always known I liked (but social awkwardness is totally unsexy enough to kill that buzz).
Lately, though, my desire is up for frequency, quantity, and apparently for novelty. When I say lately I mean I've seen a slow gradual rise generally over maybe three or four years, and a sharper spike since this crush. The desire is also clearer-- it's easier for me to separate out a sexual drive from a cuddling/closeness/emotional support drive, and I am more driven to act upon this.
I really wonder about this whole dirty thirties thing. It's gonna be interesting.
Perhaps related, perhaps not... I'm ovulating again. At least, my body is acting like I'm ovulating, this despite the fact that I haven't bled in the right time frame. This may be that crush's doing (body really likes whacking my hormonal cycle for him). And I'm ovulating like... honest to god, egg white is an accurate name. (note: this is reasonably obscure. google 'egg white ovulation' if you need, but I ain't a-tellin ya here)
So I think that's all about that for now, but I realise I haven't been talking a lot about some of this stuff cause I've felt weird airing it out in public lately. Not sure how I feel about that-- I know I don't want to share details about how and what with who (that's not mine to share) but it's an area of myself I continue to learn a lot about and writing surely helps me to recognise patterns and learn from the actual stuff that happens to me.
Anyhow, nothing more to see here. If I don't cut these damn fingernails I'll never have a decent entry to post.
I'm feeling relentlessly melancholy today, irritable yesterday, and I would really like a lot of sex. Preferably I'd like to chew through a couple of boys, which honest to god doesn't go over well as a public declaration. Even less so the 'just stick me on a big lazy susan in the middle of the room and go to'.
I didn't used to be like this. The multiple-partner thing has always turned my crank. I love the... you know the look on a boy's face the first time he has a naked girl in each hand? That look is sheer joy. I'm most often in that equation, though, and almost never in the other one with a boy on each end. And, well, that's something I've always known I liked (but social awkwardness is totally unsexy enough to kill that buzz).
Lately, though, my desire is up for frequency, quantity, and apparently for novelty. When I say lately I mean I've seen a slow gradual rise generally over maybe three or four years, and a sharper spike since this crush. The desire is also clearer-- it's easier for me to separate out a sexual drive from a cuddling/closeness/emotional support drive, and I am more driven to act upon this.
I really wonder about this whole dirty thirties thing. It's gonna be interesting.
Perhaps related, perhaps not... I'm ovulating again. At least, my body is acting like I'm ovulating, this despite the fact that I haven't bled in the right time frame. This may be that crush's doing (body really likes whacking my hormonal cycle for him). And I'm ovulating like... honest to god, egg white is an accurate name. (note: this is reasonably obscure. google 'egg white ovulation' if you need, but I ain't a-tellin ya here)
So I think that's all about that for now, but I realise I haven't been talking a lot about some of this stuff cause I've felt weird airing it out in public lately. Not sure how I feel about that-- I know I don't want to share details about how and what with who (that's not mine to share) but it's an area of myself I continue to learn a lot about and writing surely helps me to recognise patterns and learn from the actual stuff that happens to me.
Anyhow, nothing more to see here. If I don't cut these damn fingernails I'll never have a decent entry to post.
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