I can't swallow reducing it to just "men are action-oriented". But yes, many of us were trained to de-value our appearance. And like those women who were trained to uniquely value their appearance, it can be a very slow and painful boat to turn once you realize how distorted it's made your existing behavior, thoughts, feelings.

(The truth is weirder still: every person will evaluate you with their own mix of factors, appearance and otherwise, plus a good dose of random circumstantial noise unrelated to either of you.)