Always the game

Tue, 10 Mar 2026 16:09:55 GMT

Am I in a bad mood because:

1) I think I haven't had a conversation with another human just for pleasure since before christmas

2) More and more things are becoming monetized and people seem to view this as a triumph since more people can pick up more side hustles, instead of viewing it as an insidious intrusion into normal human activities

3) Ecocide

4) Bombing infrastructure necessary for life

5) I don't want to read the books by other authors about Agatha Christie's characters but they keep being recommended to me

6) I probably can't do an 8 day workshop on soda firing and may never be able to again but I want to

7) New meds are doing bad hormone things

If 7, I should do something about it. Realistically I should do something about all of them, but they all require a different kind of response than 7 and maybe 1. I don't think getting a t-shirt made that says "useless eater" is the way forward on any of them, I guess.

I really do want the luxury of being able to crash out because of doing something for pleasure, though. It's a different feeling than wanting to do something but not being able to because I can't work. I really did live a lot at the edge of my ability.

Yesterday I stacked the last of the wood that isn't embedded in the driveway ice flow, and ordered another 3 cord for later this week or next week. Maybe I should have done pottery. Maybe especially I should have called someone to talk. I'm back to being a morning person again, though, and there's no one to talk to during my little windows of energy. Or something. Maybe that's just my excuse and it's just 7) above.

I've played this "which one" game all my life and I'm tired of it.

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Mon, 09 Mar 2026 20:47:43 GMT

Instead of going to the pottery workshop in Medicine Hat, I've decided to contact the soda kiln person in Prince George and instead spend the workshop money on getting my winter 27/28 firewood laid in and freighting in clay for the soda kiln (they fire to cone 10, my clay is cone 5/6, so I need different clay). Fun fact: it costs about as much to ship clay to me as it does to buy it in the first place, since it's just rocks.

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Greenstorm's Journal

Always the game