Weekend.

[greenstorm]

I try not to have a to-do list. It's depressing. Instead, I try to have a done-list.

o Garden, very close (sunflowers and watermelon left).
o Rat food obtained
o Rat brick done
o Vet visit done
o Apartment hunting started
o Email caught up
o House tidied
o Halfway through client letter
o Time with people recently had/scheduled
o Food for tonight taken care of
o Sheets changed
o Online plot begun at Chia
o Online duties begun at Chia
o One client issue resolved

To balance, I do still need to:

o Finish client letter and photocopy
o Visit US embassy re: passport
o Dishes/kitchen cleanup
o Call friends/schedule coming week
o Do laundry
o Do more apartment hunting
o Always: work stuff as it comes up, rat cages as they come up.

Good night last night, though I slept through most of it. I need to try and prepare for those by sleeping more. I definitely feel like I'm no longer in a 'steady' relationship -- the nights with someone curled close and affectionately are very set apart from the rest of my life seperate cameo'd bits that don't blur into one another in the least. It's more okay than it was last time I was in this situation. I do need to keep consciously concentrating on other good things in my life, though (school, garden, rats, friends, activities, group activities, Chia stuff, family).

Also had a weird dream about my family in Queen's Park which had been moved to Vancouver Island. It was weird in that it wasn't very surreal, just scenes with my mom and brothers and me doing stuff in the area.

Have two longish (overnight away from th Valley) trips planned this summer: poly retreat and Salt Spring Seeds trip. Will be at the Sealion War on (I think) Saturday -- my first SCA event *ever*. _locke had said something about making a garment of some sort for me, for that kind of thing, once. Offer still on some evening this week, maybe at Estry's place with her assistance? Otherwise I just borrow from Mouse. :)

I think I'm officially declaring myself into 'some types' of 'BDSM'. Talk about a broad umbrella of activities, hm? I was on Womyn's Wear the other day and picked up a book on spanking. I think topping is definitely harder than bottoming in a lot of contexts -- I mean, you don't want to hurt someone, you just wanna have fun, right? I can see it involving lots of thinking/planning and lots of watchign for various kinds of feedback and wondering, is this too far? What about this? Might change with experience with a partner, but starting... whew. Luckily, that's not where my immediate inclinations lie (it's totally a per-partner thing with me though). :>

I know a lot of you Vanpolyers are probably reading this and laughing.

I like my tomato plants.

This has been your semi-daily update. Take care, and smile a bunch for me.

Comments

Re: Topping is harder

[http://users.livejournal.com/_greenwitch_/]

I tend to push my boundaries in play, so I need to always check with myself 'Am I doing this because I feel obligated, or because it's hot and challenging?' 'Am I gonna end up regretting this?'

I really don't do any heavy play - babboo tells me I'm quite vanilla :) - but I'm aware that my competitive streak (what, me competitive????) can get me into trouble when playing, since I usually won't back down until I'm in quite a lot of pain. At that point, I admit that any lasting discomfort or markings are completely my fault.

Re: Topping is harder

[estrellada.livejournal.com]

I tend to accept a certain amount of residuals etc as part of what I do...but it's the emotional feeling of having put yourself in a position where I've been much more vulnerable than indended, or that my top wasn't "psychic" (ha ha) enough to know I was really suffering, I find that's the 'danger' for me: I have rarely truly feared for my physical safety, but my emotional safety is the area that I know I need to take utmost responsability for.