Wheeeeeee

[greenstorm]

Ok, I'm starting to work my way through the official autism screening. Oh wow is this an emotional ride. This is what support crew is for: bringing me tea while I write, making sure I eat, bringing me kleenexes if I'm crying. Instead I'm going to have to do it in several bursts, working until it gets too intense, then going out into the garden and planting the energy of my feelings into the corn and tomatoes until I've recovered and doing it all over again, like that.

I think I've just realized something. Having a person to emotionally regulate with tremendously increases my capacity -- my functioning level, if you will. I just cannot achieve as much adverse/uncharacteristic/non-autistic stuff without that. The person doesn't even have to be neurotypical, they just have to be present and I'll regulate better.

Is this masking, and me using the mask? Or is it just getting help with regulation?

Comments

[chemicalcain]

having another person around helps me get through stuff, too. when it comes to chores or a boring, difficult task, it's like i'm borrowing their motivation to tackle it. when it's an emotionally taxing task, i rely on another person to help me recognize when i'm overwhelmed. i don't think you're using the mask necessarily, i think another person just notices cues that are easy to miss when you're absorbed in a task. like time passing or sounds of distress. for me, having another person around who accepts me makes it easier not to mask, which in turn makes it easier for them to notice cues that i need help.

[greenstorm]

This isn't the ADHD body doubling effect; it's that my actual ability to regulate my body just exists better with other people. Right now when I'm not into the garden I'm getting kicked into fight-or-flight dozens of times per day.