greenstorm (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
greenstorm) wrote2003-07-16 10:53 am
greenstorm) wrote2003-07-16 10:53 am
People Who Suck, Pt 1: Telephone Messages ;)
A chief subset of People Who Suck is composed of People Who Don't Leave Telephone Messages. Reasoning as follows.
My telephone kind of sucks. It rings twice and then throws people into the message system. That's not a whole lot of time for me to get it, which is just fine: if I'm not going to pick it up I don't want it ringing for hours on end.
My doing-stuff predictability kind of sucks. I do a number of things (gardening, dishes, laundry, sleep, etc) where I can't get instantly to the phone, nor would I be able to even if it rang more than twice. I also use the telephone sometimes to *gasp* talk to other people.
So the long and short of it is that sometimes I can't pick the phone up at somebody else's convenience, especially when they haven't called to check if it's a good time to call first. ;)
What have I done to deal with this situation? I have paid for an answering service/voice mail thing which will pick the phone up when I'm on the telephone or when I don't pick it up myself. I'm using money for this, paying for a message service.
Now, I pay for the message service so that if someone calls they can leave a message. This is convenient for both of us: first, if they need to convey important information they don't have to actually get hold of me; I check messages, the information gets passed.
More importantly, though, if they leave a message, I can check the message and call them back in a minute or two, when it is convenient and my hands are out of the dishwater or I've finished running up the stairs from laundry. There's a disconnect of a moment or two between the time it's convenient for them to call and the time it takes me to be ready to recieve the call, and the message system bridges that disconnect.
Granted, I will not always be home to call back in a minute or two, and I will not always want to, but the vast majority of my phone conversations will probably end up being because I've called someone back after missing the phone for whatever reason.
If someone does not leave a message, given that they know the above information, what must I assume about them?
1) That it's inconvenient for them to talk to me three minutes later than they want to. They need it now, baybe, and while in some cases that's legitimate the rest of the time it sounds like way too much control-freakishness and ego to me.
2) That they didn't actually want to talk to me. So, why call? I'm confused.
3) That they called a minute ago and left a message and didn't hear back, and don't want to spam my voicemail. Okay, I'll give you this one, although I still like messages.
4) That they're a telemarketer. Okay, fine, I don't mind you not leaving a message.
5) That they believe that I'm psychic and so don't need a message, because I know who it is (or want to pay more money for that *69 thing because I just accidentally misallocated my budget to voicemail instead of *69). Huh. Sounds like prime relationship material.
6) They don't know what to say. Panic-stricken at this new, unanticipated situation where they're faced with a machine, people forget their name and/or telephone number and so can't leave a message. Sure, if you were calling the Pope I'd understand this. Calling me, however, isn't a huge situation here.
7) Irrational stuff. For instance, people sometimes say, I didn't want to inconvenience you. Logically, if I didn't want messages, I wouldn't pay money for the system, right?
8) I don't think there are any raging technophobes out there who have moral issues talking to a machine, even one just used to transfer sound? But somehow the telephone's okay? I've never heard of this cult, I bet it exists in some form or another, come to think of it.
Having said this: I actually do still love you all. I love you more if you leave messages. Thus spake Larchstorm.;) The end.
My telephone kind of sucks. It rings twice and then throws people into the message system. That's not a whole lot of time for me to get it, which is just fine: if I'm not going to pick it up I don't want it ringing for hours on end.
My doing-stuff predictability kind of sucks. I do a number of things (gardening, dishes, laundry, sleep, etc) where I can't get instantly to the phone, nor would I be able to even if it rang more than twice. I also use the telephone sometimes to *gasp* talk to other people.
So the long and short of it is that sometimes I can't pick the phone up at somebody else's convenience, especially when they haven't called to check if it's a good time to call first. ;)
What have I done to deal with this situation? I have paid for an answering service/voice mail thing which will pick the phone up when I'm on the telephone or when I don't pick it up myself. I'm using money for this, paying for a message service.
Now, I pay for the message service so that if someone calls they can leave a message. This is convenient for both of us: first, if they need to convey important information they don't have to actually get hold of me; I check messages, the information gets passed.
More importantly, though, if they leave a message, I can check the message and call them back in a minute or two, when it is convenient and my hands are out of the dishwater or I've finished running up the stairs from laundry. There's a disconnect of a moment or two between the time it's convenient for them to call and the time it takes me to be ready to recieve the call, and the message system bridges that disconnect.
Granted, I will not always be home to call back in a minute or two, and I will not always want to, but the vast majority of my phone conversations will probably end up being because I've called someone back after missing the phone for whatever reason.
If someone does not leave a message, given that they know the above information, what must I assume about them?
1) That it's inconvenient for them to talk to me three minutes later than they want to. They need it now, baybe, and while in some cases that's legitimate the rest of the time it sounds like way too much control-freakishness and ego to me.
2) That they didn't actually want to talk to me. So, why call? I'm confused.
3) That they called a minute ago and left a message and didn't hear back, and don't want to spam my voicemail. Okay, I'll give you this one, although I still like messages.
4) That they're a telemarketer. Okay, fine, I don't mind you not leaving a message.
5) That they believe that I'm psychic and so don't need a message, because I know who it is (or want to pay more money for that *69 thing because I just accidentally misallocated my budget to voicemail instead of *69). Huh. Sounds like prime relationship material.
6) They don't know what to say. Panic-stricken at this new, unanticipated situation where they're faced with a machine, people forget their name and/or telephone number and so can't leave a message. Sure, if you were calling the Pope I'd understand this. Calling me, however, isn't a huge situation here.
7) Irrational stuff. For instance, people sometimes say, I didn't want to inconvenience you. Logically, if I didn't want messages, I wouldn't pay money for the system, right?
8) I don't think there are any raging technophobes out there who have moral issues talking to a machine, even one just used to transfer sound? But somehow the telephone's okay? I've never heard of this cult, I bet it exists in some form or another, come to think of it.
Having said this: I actually do still love you all. I love you more if you leave messages. Thus spake Larchstorm.;) The end.
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-The Rare Pacific Northwest Larch-Dwelling Mouse
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well look at that. it has a little dust on it but there it is.
:)
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I turn off the ringer and check messages randomly for the rest of my life, thus really effectively blocking people who don't leave messages.
Actually, that doesn't sound so bad... or maybe what I need is call-display and a one-ring message system.
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Actually, this would perfectly describe my father who is so afraid of telephones that he gets severely muddled while dialing and doesn't like coming here and calling people because there are three more digits to dial than back in the okanagan.
He actually gets other people to dial for him whenever possible, and if he actually calls someone and gets a machine he gets a panic-stricken look on his face and hangs up violently, then sits around looking chagrined while he collects himself to make another call and then place a message.
My father only had a telephone in his house with any regularity from the time he was... 30? Which probably explains a lot of this.
Not that my father is likely to be calling you.
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I have a lot of sympathy for that sort of thing, actually. It took me awhile to learn to switch gears gracefully and not leave an 'Um... um.. it's me... you know, Greenstorm... I, um...' sort of message out of sheer scriptlessness.
And it does seem inherently strange to speak a non-realtime communication, from the outside.
But, pah! Dialing! That I have no sympathy with! Have him get a touch-tone phone! ;>
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I love leaving phone messages. That said, I often choose not to. Why?, you might ask. Well, as luck will have it, I am about to tell you. Often, when I am calling someone, I really want to talk to that person. I do not want to leave a message for them to call me back, or convey some information, or anything of the sort. I want to talk to them. Given that the stars have not aligned in telephonic symmetry, then I choose to leave unnoticed. To slip into the RJ11 port from whence I came. I will probably return, but such is the wild and varied nature of being me, that one never really can tell.
Anyhow, there is some useless mental trival a la me, and now I must run.
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Unless you're saying that you're a member of a cult that strictly governs your telephone use, but I shall give you the benefit of the doubt there.
I'm in luck! I know now why you remain a random stranger and not a close friend and confidante. Thank you for increasing my knowledge of the way the world works. :>
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No, it is not about waiting for you to dry your hands. It is about spontaneity (did I spell that right). If I leave a message asking you to call me, and you do, you are going to want to know why I called. When the answer is "umm, no reason at all", I have found that people are often irritated.
Sadly, my cult membership expired, as I had no blood soaked goat heads to pay ... *grin*
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Being a random person on the internet and not a close friend and confidante, you have no way of knowing that my favourite activity is 'doing stuff' and my favourite reason for interacting with people is 'because'.
So, far from being irritated if you called 'just because,' I would welcome it. I'm actually trying to learn to use the phone for actual 'things' like a 'do you want to go out Sunday' call instead of just socialising, because apparently the Juggler prefers it to email for that sort of informational exchange. Go figure.
Too bad about the cult membership. They wouldn't take a supermarket stewing chicken instead, I guess?
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The great thing is, I am not mocking you and am actually quite honest above (but deceitful below ... oh so deceitful ... and a bad spuhler).
I think the phone is really about being able to virtualize an encounter with someone. I often call for no reason whatsoever, just that the person in question popped into my head, or I happen to be driving near their house, or I thought of something funny to say and did not want to say it to myself in my car. Of course, the phone is also good for arranging Sunday dinner plans.
As for juggling email, it has been some time since I have received such an email ... a juggler based email that is. I have assumed that he does not love me and instead I find myself slowing weeping into the night until finally the sweet sweet oblivion of tear filled sleep sucks me deep into its
The great thing is, I am not mocking you and am actually quite honest above (but deceitful below ... oh so deceitful ... and a bad spuhler).
I think the phone is really about being able to virtualize an encounter with someone. I often call for no reason whatsoever, just that the person in question popped into my head, or I happen to be driving near their house, or I thought of something funny to say and did not want to say it to myself in my car. Of course, the phone is also good for arranging Sunday dinner plans.
As for juggling email, it has been some time since I have received such an email ... a juggler based email that is. I have assumed that he does not love me and instead I find myself slowing weeping into the night until finally the sweet sweet oblivion of tear filled sleep sucks me deep into its <I really have a desire to use the word chunky here but am not really sure where I can go with it ... probably a good sign I should stop>
Stewing Chicken ! ... I could send it to them ... or I could just tell them I sent it ... they could stew in their juices waiting for its arrival!!