greenstorm | (no subject)

I'm tired and my heart hurts. I need to spend time with some poly folks; the last week has convinced me that I probably love in colours that the eyes of folks around here can't even perceive. I feel invisible and my moral sense is a little offended. I guess maybe this is the first time I've watched default-monogamous (rather than deliberate-monogamous) folks sort their stuff out. I hadn't realized just how far I stood from that space.

I've been told that I'm very intentional about my relationships and I guess I am. I find the gift of connection to incur a responsibility to do some groundwork, to figure out which compatibilities exist, and then to build some sustainability into that system. To my mind it's at best cruel or a waste not to be a little mindful about it, to work to avoid anything easily avoidable.

I don't know. I was going to go on, something something Judeo-Christian denial of pleasure is supposed to be the sign of true love something property something ownership something control over other people's bodies something something but I don't have it in me. Maybe I need to call Tillie or Angus or someone from way back so I can just cry a little and year them say "yeah" and not have to explain anything.

In the meantime it's hot and sunny and I'm doing my garden and that's not so bad, is it? Corn and squash and beans and tomatoes and soup peas and potatoes and some extremely experimental melons all going in within the next couple days. The tiller is great. I love playing in the dirt and I'll love watching these experiments grow.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Hey there, glad to meet you. In some ways I think poly drove me to handle my emotions totally differently within a relationship; they're information, and I can choose to use that information along with other information to make decisions. Otherwise the option seems to be having an emotion require a specific action, like love and getting married, or jealousy and not doing a thing anymore.

Anyhow, I hope your poly path is a peaceful and rewarding one.

How did you come across my journal?

i think i was scrolling through the "latest things" page, and one of your poetry posts caught my attention. the line "listen, my wary one, it's far too late to unlove each other" tugged at something, i think.

it also seems we share an interest in plant identification and permaculture, though i haven't talked about that much on my own journal yet! my skills are very much at a novice level, but i'm learning more all the time. it's been interesting to read about you starting this year's garden.

Oh hey, I'm a "latest thing", neat.

Gardening really is the best, and the garden is such a good teacher.

I migrated over here from lj some time ago and I've never really settled into a good way to find folks here, is why I asked. :)

i'm still trying to get used to dreamwidth myself. i first started using the site in 2019, and never really figured out how to make friends here. sometimes i click through to random journals just to see what's happening! the "latest things" page shows the latest public posts from anyone across the site, so it's a decent way to find active blogs, at least.