greenstorm (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
greenstorm) wrote2022-03-01 07:35 pm
greenstorm) wrote2022-03-01 07:35 pm
Certainty
I'd like to state, for the record, that any time I'm certain of an event or make a sure declarative about the future that thing will not come to pass. Homes, relationships, jobs, leaving, staying: in my life, if I come to completely expect something, it will not come to pass.
A&E have had a bid accepted on a property in the mid-north Vancouver Island. Everything happens for many reasons each with its own lens:
I. just. Said. That. I. Was. Staying. Here. My heart just believed it and I had less than a day of rest alone in this space after mom left and before they viewed the property.
Also it's spring and people are selling, so this was a reasonable time for this to happen after braking for the winter.
Also A&E have been waiting all winter and are more able to compromise on location, especially since Tucker (without telling anyone, but they got the message at least) removed his requirements from the search. It's pretty remote.
There are a lot of subjects to remove on the offer including sale of A&E's place (they have ten viewings this week), inspection, water test, and ability to get insurance.
I have not been there to walk it. After A&E's place has an accepted bid (if?) I'll fly down for a day or two to look it over, mark trees for clearing, mark fencelines, and then come back up here and live with Threshold for awhile longer. There's no way to go down before it's ready for the animals, after all.
Not having walked it I can't tell you about it. I can tell you about North Vancouver Island, though. It's intensely pacific northwest, west coast. It freezes in the winter intermittently, and not for many days at a time. It's heavy overcast to drizzly well over half the time; almost no one would recognise the rain as rain because not a lot of water tends to come down at once but it is always damp. It's a little dryer and sunnier in summer but less than you might think. Everything is green and smells like leaf mould and conifer and water. Summers are also cool; I'm not sure exactly how cool yet but I may not get much warmer than here. Thing is, it would be the same temperature as here but frost free for maybe twice as long. That introduces possibilities like yuzu and very hardy kumquats.
I don't really want to talk about it though? I'm here with Threshold, and I want to be here, and enjoy here. I don't want to spend my thoughts on places far away, though I do love the planning exercise. I want to be in the present moment because I love it here.
There's lots before this is completely sure: interpersonal, financial, legal. It may never happen, who knows? But it's looking likely at this moment. A&E will look over offers Thursday and until then I am so far outside my mind and my body I'm finding myself just standing places, staring, and it's hard to move.
There's a lot more to say about this. I wanted to put it down here though. Ahead of me may be this place without (yet) a name. I once again don't know what happens next.
A&E have had a bid accepted on a property in the mid-north Vancouver Island. Everything happens for many reasons each with its own lens:
I. just. Said. That. I. Was. Staying. Here. My heart just believed it and I had less than a day of rest alone in this space after mom left and before they viewed the property.
Also it's spring and people are selling, so this was a reasonable time for this to happen after braking for the winter.
Also A&E have been waiting all winter and are more able to compromise on location, especially since Tucker (without telling anyone, but they got the message at least) removed his requirements from the search. It's pretty remote.
There are a lot of subjects to remove on the offer including sale of A&E's place (they have ten viewings this week), inspection, water test, and ability to get insurance.
I have not been there to walk it. After A&E's place has an accepted bid (if?) I'll fly down for a day or two to look it over, mark trees for clearing, mark fencelines, and then come back up here and live with Threshold for awhile longer. There's no way to go down before it's ready for the animals, after all.
Not having walked it I can't tell you about it. I can tell you about North Vancouver Island, though. It's intensely pacific northwest, west coast. It freezes in the winter intermittently, and not for many days at a time. It's heavy overcast to drizzly well over half the time; almost no one would recognise the rain as rain because not a lot of water tends to come down at once but it is always damp. It's a little dryer and sunnier in summer but less than you might think. Everything is green and smells like leaf mould and conifer and water. Summers are also cool; I'm not sure exactly how cool yet but I may not get much warmer than here. Thing is, it would be the same temperature as here but frost free for maybe twice as long. That introduces possibilities like yuzu and very hardy kumquats.
I don't really want to talk about it though? I'm here with Threshold, and I want to be here, and enjoy here. I don't want to spend my thoughts on places far away, though I do love the planning exercise. I want to be in the present moment because I love it here.
There's lots before this is completely sure: interpersonal, financial, legal. It may never happen, who knows? But it's looking likely at this moment. A&E will look over offers Thursday and until then I am so far outside my mind and my body I'm finding myself just standing places, staring, and it's hard to move.
There's a lot more to say about this. I wanted to put it down here though. Ahead of me may be this place without (yet) a name. I once again don't know what happens next.
no subject
Oh goodness, it hadn't occurred to me to discuss how to prioritize projects. I think of my time as so much my own. I know E has mentioned that I'd take point on planning the garden & animals, but that is neither a prioritizing process nor an energy distribution so I kind of handwaved it. Thank you, I will look into this more.
I know my work process can be pretty difficult for other folks to join in on; when I'm personally going to go do something I almost always have to get up and go out to do something else (thanks PDA) so I'll literally say "let's go bring wood in" and end up fixing the fence instead. Obviously not great to do work together in groups, though I can join work that other folks are doing, usually, as long as they get moving first. A&E do NOT have a handle on PDA yet and when I brought it up in conversation they mostly wanted to compare similar experiences about their mental health stuff. Repetition will hopefully help get it in there.
A friend who was in the military has what I think is probably a similar board. It's a fantastic tool; I've added it to my notes for "things we need on startup". Come to think of it, a weekly meeting to discuss priorities etc would be less onerous if I wasn't working full time.
I am super happy to get that link, thank you! That is exactly what I want.
no subject
how best to send photos of our board? here? instagram DMs?
in addition to getting at least a prototype process for project prioritization (ha!), i'd find out what E means by "you'd take point." do A & E want input, to engage creatively, to have their own garden/animal projects? or do they want to follow your lead entirely on that? will that become tiring to be the decision maker always (i realize you already are at Threshold), or will you want a way to share responsibility? right now you don't need to know for sure, because it will change once you're in it and emergent needs arise for everyone. just to have the conversation open.
no subject
I have a lot of workarounds for the PDA thing. Sometimes I'll say I'm going out to work on one of these three things, would someone like to join me? and that helps take the pressure off one thing, so I'm more able to be consistent. Asking someone else to start works well. The workarounds are why I like to either do my own projects and let other people drop in as they see me doing things and feel like helping, or let other people do their projects and wander by and ask if they need a hand when I see them working. It takes a lot less energy than navigating around the demand avoidance.
Yes, I basically parse statements like that as "I'll have some role in this, seek explanation". I'm very used to people using a couple phrases which they think clearly mean something, but that many different people would read differently, so I know to seek clarification (see also: "we're monogamous" or "I'm poly").
I'm definitely feeling the need for an online forum-type medium for these conversations. We all get excited and talk a lot, and that's not the way to pin down a set of things as a greed and remembered.
no subject
i can reccomend Slack as a forum tool for tracking and capturing the conversations. you can make multiple channels, send files and pictures, and it works on phones and laptops equally well. the free version does have a max limit on storage so you need to download files someone posts, but it's easy.