Post-counseling thoughts
Aug. 18th, 2022 01:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
greenstormI definitely want to have a community of folks I'm comfortable with around me, specifically who do things outside my home sometimes I think
When I dig into the idea of partnership and whether I want to be partners with Tucker in a scenario like that, solo, or with someone else-- I think Tucker stands in for the idea of "someone who works on his issues and who I don't need to perform for, who can accept the what of me so we can get on to the what's next and how" except that of course Tucker is not historically strong at discussing the what's next and how, though he's good at doing it in the medium term.
I definitely like things I can control, and I don't like unexpected changes. I've probably made changes in my life so that I can proactively create changes rather than reactively sitting to wait for changes to happen to me. I like big changes into new environments rather than fiddling with many small things that aren't working unless I can see progress.
There are certain times the unknown is comforting to me and I can embrace it with curiosity.
Most humans probably do not have to accept the feeling of imminent death and danger from their bodies on a more-than-daily basis, which is why they're bad at handling fear or situations where their body is telling them a situation is perilous? My emotional choices for a lot of things are to fight back as if my life depended on it or to accept death, so I have a lot of practice with those things.
That's probably related to folks feeling like I'm exaggerating. The more I know about myself in plain words, the more I think folks will believe I'm exaggerating, because I'm outside a lot of folks' experience or their imagination. Especially since I'm having a pretty good life.
My eyes going to different places when I'm thinking about things probably has a mind-body connection/therapeutic effect?
I am deeply annoyed when people say I have a good mind-body connection or that I'm self-aware.
When I dig into the idea of partnership and whether I want to be partners with Tucker in a scenario like that, solo, or with someone else-- I think Tucker stands in for the idea of "someone who works on his issues and who I don't need to perform for, who can accept the what of me so we can get on to the what's next and how" except that of course Tucker is not historically strong at discussing the what's next and how, though he's good at doing it in the medium term.
I definitely like things I can control, and I don't like unexpected changes. I've probably made changes in my life so that I can proactively create changes rather than reactively sitting to wait for changes to happen to me. I like big changes into new environments rather than fiddling with many small things that aren't working unless I can see progress.
There are certain times the unknown is comforting to me and I can embrace it with curiosity.
Most humans probably do not have to accept the feeling of imminent death and danger from their bodies on a more-than-daily basis, which is why they're bad at handling fear or situations where their body is telling them a situation is perilous? My emotional choices for a lot of things are to fight back as if my life depended on it or to accept death, so I have a lot of practice with those things.
That's probably related to folks feeling like I'm exaggerating. The more I know about myself in plain words, the more I think folks will believe I'm exaggerating, because I'm outside a lot of folks' experience or their imagination. Especially since I'm having a pretty good life.
My eyes going to different places when I'm thinking about things probably has a mind-body connection/therapeutic effect?
I am deeply annoyed when people say I have a good mind-body connection or that I'm self-aware.
