Solstice day 4
Jun. 23rd, 2025 04:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
greenstormI think the solstice interregnum isn't a success, exactly. I'd been hoping to take a week off from the outer world. Instead I talked to both mom and Josh yesterday -- I normally have something like 2 phone calls per month, not 2 in a day! -- did a bunch of insurance and gun license renewal paperwork, and as one would expect after all that basically collapsed. Pretty much zero garden, and then this morning I had to run in to pick up some mail (neither couriers nor the postal service deliver to houses here, so when the dog food I order comes in, the dollar store which is the depot for courier services holds it and calls me to come pick it up).
I came home, made lunch, and fell hard asleep. Little Bear curled up on my legs and slept with me. It was the kind of sleep that feels like a hard cleansing rain to the mind, and where it takes a long time to remember how to move my limbs.
I want to go outside and do more gardening but I still feel exhausted and weak. It really is incredible how doing that mind work -- paperwork, socializing -- leaves me literally bedbound but if I can garden without any of it then I remain functional. I wish I knew the mechanism.
I've decided to attend a local(ish) SCA event in early July. It's in the big town nearby, a weekend's camping event. I can drive in and out as I choose, decide whether to stay the night or not and when to come back. I imagine I'll be able to sit or lie in the grass a lot. It's outdoors, which is obviously a lot comfier for covid. My local SCA friend has invited me to make some garb up this week, she does a ton of period sewing, so I'll bring some linen and maybe some wool and see if I can get my head around fabric craft again. I have actually been considering hand-sewing or hand-finishing some linen things for awhile; it's more straightforward than a sewing machine and much slower, so I may be able to handle it. Or, it might trigger the same issues as reading, and it wont' work. We will eventually see.
In the meantime I have fajita filling in the fridge and some wraps, a bunch of fruit, and I'm trying to work up the energy to walk back outside. The world is intruding into my thoughts again. When I try writing about it, it sounds terrible, but eventually I'll capture what I'm trying to say maybe.
I came home, made lunch, and fell hard asleep. Little Bear curled up on my legs and slept with me. It was the kind of sleep that feels like a hard cleansing rain to the mind, and where it takes a long time to remember how to move my limbs.
I want to go outside and do more gardening but I still feel exhausted and weak. It really is incredible how doing that mind work -- paperwork, socializing -- leaves me literally bedbound but if I can garden without any of it then I remain functional. I wish I knew the mechanism.
I've decided to attend a local(ish) SCA event in early July. It's in the big town nearby, a weekend's camping event. I can drive in and out as I choose, decide whether to stay the night or not and when to come back. I imagine I'll be able to sit or lie in the grass a lot. It's outdoors, which is obviously a lot comfier for covid. My local SCA friend has invited me to make some garb up this week, she does a ton of period sewing, so I'll bring some linen and maybe some wool and see if I can get my head around fabric craft again. I have actually been considering hand-sewing or hand-finishing some linen things for awhile; it's more straightforward than a sewing machine and much slower, so I may be able to handle it. Or, it might trigger the same issues as reading, and it wont' work. We will eventually see.
In the meantime I have fajita filling in the fridge and some wraps, a bunch of fruit, and I'm trying to work up the energy to walk back outside. The world is intruding into my thoughts again. When I try writing about it, it sounds terrible, but eventually I'll capture what I'm trying to say maybe.
