"projected shit and... inability to treat a human like, you know, a person instead of as a social issue."
This above is really the core issue.
I was triggered by this. Mostly as someone who has been fat all of her adult life and most of her childhood and was basically told over and over that I don't have the RIGHT to love, affection, respect, regard, space on the bus, common courtesy, CLOTHING, FOOD and oh, LIFE.
I also have finally gotten to a place where I don't fuck people who don't treat my body as normal.
You know why?
Because my body IS NORMAL. When you actually LOOK around at lots of people in the world, many of us are 'somewhat' to 'very' fat. One of the things that drives me NUTS in our current culture is a cognitive dissonance that fat is somehow abnormal. And if my lover(s) can't look at me, touch me, lust after me, cuddle with me, enjoy me as if I am normal, I can't let them do any of that. It makes me choke up.
Because even tho I have had lovers for over 16 years now, I have had, until a few years ago, a great number of them who did not think my body was normal and who could not treat me as such.
Also, a thing to consider is: if food = love and comfort for most of us, and you create a class of people who don't get love and comfort elsewhere, then constantly criticize them from finding ANY love and comfort through food (fatties have their eating scrutinized by their family, doctors, friends, co-workers, STRANGERS) then how crazy will they be?
This is all a bit of a soup, but I think I'm trying to get to this:
You need to love people. Where they are right now. You need to be able to look at them, not in pity or understanding as part of a systemic fuckupedness (which we all are anyway) but as humans who deserve the basics we all deserve. Because when people are loved they get healthier - and that may never be reflected by not being fat, some of us will always be fat - but they will contribute to our world being healthy.
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Date: 2011-06-10 04:54 pm (UTC)This above is really the core issue.
I was triggered by this. Mostly as someone who has been fat all of her adult life and most of her childhood and was basically told over and over that I don't have the RIGHT to love, affection, respect, regard, space on the bus, common courtesy, CLOTHING, FOOD and oh, LIFE.
I also have finally gotten to a place where I don't fuck people who don't treat my body as normal.
You know why?
Because my body IS NORMAL. When you actually LOOK around at lots of people in the world, many of us are 'somewhat' to 'very' fat. One of the things that drives me NUTS in our current culture is a cognitive dissonance that fat is somehow abnormal. And if my lover(s) can't look at me, touch me, lust after me, cuddle with me, enjoy me as if I am normal, I can't let them do any of that. It makes me choke up.
Because even tho I have had lovers for over 16 years now, I have had, until a few years ago, a great number of them who did not think my body was normal and who could not treat me as such.
Also, a thing to consider is: if food = love and comfort for most of us, and you create a class of people who don't get love and comfort elsewhere, then constantly criticize them from finding ANY love and comfort through food (fatties have their eating scrutinized by their family, doctors, friends, co-workers, STRANGERS) then how crazy will they be?
This is all a bit of a soup, but I think I'm trying to get to this:
You need to love people. Where they are right now. You need to be able to look at them, not in pity or understanding as part of a systemic fuckupedness (which we all are anyway) but as humans who deserve the basics we all deserve. Because when people are loved they get healthier - and that may never be reflected by not being fat, some of us will always be fat - but they will contribute to our world being healthy.