I used to have problems hearing about other partners because of a combination of generally poor self-image plus various unsupportive/neglectful/actively abusive partners, including a long-term partner who grotesquely overshared the details of relationships with others and and then heavily shamed me when I expressed the need for less sharing. It culminated in my requesting an almost "don't ask, don't tell" policy when the Captain and I first started dating.
Two and a half years later, I'm feeling very little need to have that kind of restriction in place, especially as I find it hinders our abilities to be fully supportive and emotionally connected partners with each other. But the aversion came by very honestly, and I'm actually really relieved that I'm not utterly broken on the inside, and that a secure setting and relationship result in me feeling able to communicate about such things.
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Date: 2013-10-01 10:28 pm (UTC)Two and a half years later, I'm feeling very little need to have that kind of restriction in place, especially as I find it hinders our abilities to be fully supportive and emotionally connected partners with each other. But the aversion came by very honestly, and I'm actually really relieved that I'm not utterly broken on the inside, and that a secure setting and relationship result in me feeling able to communicate about such things.