Yes, I'm honestly soothed by not being so alone in this space, though of course it would have been nice for this not to happen to you.
I think this is a case where we've both been bending over backwards to make it go until our spines snap.
That space is it, exactly. An ephemeral thread of thought and connection that can wax and wane but functions almost like a whisker or an antenna to create awareness, to catch any currents or ripples. And then, yes, to be able to pursue those ripples: "you've been quiet lately, is everything ok?" "I know that reminds you of your sister, do you need an extra hug tonight?" and through into bigger talking if needed. To give and be given space, rather than to take it.
Hopefully I see it and continue to see it. It's not my usual pattern so that's something at least.
Thank goodness for Josh. He and I went through something similar to this process. We did a trial run of living together, as a trial, and it was disastrous. Had to derail the train and tear out all the tracks heading in that direction, figure out what to base the relationship on going forward, and here we are. I value anyone who goes through that process with me; it helps settle my bones with its whispers of longevity and weathering future change. I am glad to have him.
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Date: 2021-08-18 07:11 pm (UTC)I think this is a case where we've both been bending over backwards to make it go until our spines snap.
That space is it, exactly. An ephemeral thread of thought and connection that can wax and wane but functions almost like a whisker or an antenna to create awareness, to catch any currents or ripples. And then, yes, to be able to pursue those ripples: "you've been quiet lately, is everything ok?" "I know that reminds you of your sister, do you need an extra hug tonight?" and through into bigger talking if needed. To give and be given space, rather than to take it.
Hopefully I see it and continue to see it. It's not my usual pattern so that's something at least.
Thank goodness for Josh. He and I went through something similar to this process. We did a trial run of living together, as a trial, and it was disastrous. Had to derail the train and tear out all the tracks heading in that direction, figure out what to base the relationship on going forward, and here we are. I value anyone who goes through that process with me; it helps settle my bones with its whispers of longevity and weathering future change. I am glad to have him.