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greenstormThe primary description of autism is by neurotypicals. It has no sense of interiority, it's basically a list of the things about autistics that are considered pathological or annoying, and it's no help at all with external traits. This is not useful for figuring out what it's like to be autistic.
One can assume that many general cultural descriptions of interiority are by neurotypicals. They are generally so vague and assumption-ridden and general that they give no real sense of what the experience is, and I think most of our stories avoid detailed interiority in the hopes that more people can relate or put themselves into that position. So these stories are designed to be relatable and don't contain much in the way of information.
There are descriptions of autism by autistic folks. These don't limit themselves to pathological or annoying traits as observed from behaviours, but instead focus on interiority and include joy as well as discomfort. Often they have a relatable lens on what a neurotypical description might pathologize: the joy of deep-diving into a "special interest" for instance. But one of the major hallmarks of these stories is "traumatized by growing up within the culture" and so if you're not sufficiently harmed these stories often don't quite relate.
What I want... is a description of neurotypicality (holy shit, when I look up the antonym for "autistic" the first internet dictionary hit is "well") by an autistic person. I want something without those assumptions that folks who grow up within a culture that is made for their mind cannot escape. Without that I can't compare the two and see where I stand.
Because here's the thing. The double empathy problem basically says that autistic folks can communicate between themselves pretty ok, and neurotypical folk scan communicate between themselves pretty ok, but communicating across the two groups is difficult. So if you're within a bubble of folks of your neurotype, those pathological characteristics are pretty much not a thing. And, a lot of it is super defined against normative culture. So you get:
Characteristics of autism
Problems with social interaction with others. This may include problems talking back and forth, working, or playing with others
I find that folks *waves generally at the world* can be challenged when I go off-script in a conversation, though they can often come along. The focus of talking generally doesn't involve the approach that talking is a tool to achieve an end and a sense of trying to optimize for that end (intimacy, communication, whatever) and so folks have problems achieving their objectives. Folks also seem to prefer structured play with set rules: sports, board games, card games and have trouble playing in unstructured ways.
For work I got nothin' except that office environments differ wildly and I prefer to avoid the very common "social hour workplaces" where you've got to hear about someone's kids one more time instead of getting that damn paperwork done.
unusual interest in objects
They paid how much for that car? You spend how much time thinking about the exact shape and colour of a textile? What significance exactly is attached to that expensive piece of rock?
need for sameness
Your reaction to a couple hundred hairs on an unusual part of the body is how large? Exactly how much variability in the number of textile tubes covering men's legs is acceptable? How do folks in general react even to a different shade of skin colour? I understand that the reason franchises with shitty food are so, so, so popular is that folks at large love to have their expectations met. They love sameness.
great variation in abilities
This... is a diagnostic criteria? Dear lord. That implies neurotypicals are uniform in abilities? I'd love a list and degree of these activities, though we all know they're just "participates adequately in capitalism".
under or over reaction to one or more of the five senses: sight, touch, taste, smell, or hearing
Sure.
repeated actions or body movements, unusual emotional reactions and expressions
I'm tired of this. You get the point. Though given that PDA folks "appear social but lack understanding" maybe I'm just missing something. It's just choosing a subset of movements, emotions, etc and handwaving certain variations as ok and labeling others as not. By folks who are not supposed to have a "need for sameness". Like I said, not useful.
So how do I figure out if I'm neurotypical?
One can assume that many general cultural descriptions of interiority are by neurotypicals. They are generally so vague and assumption-ridden and general that they give no real sense of what the experience is, and I think most of our stories avoid detailed interiority in the hopes that more people can relate or put themselves into that position. So these stories are designed to be relatable and don't contain much in the way of information.
There are descriptions of autism by autistic folks. These don't limit themselves to pathological or annoying traits as observed from behaviours, but instead focus on interiority and include joy as well as discomfort. Often they have a relatable lens on what a neurotypical description might pathologize: the joy of deep-diving into a "special interest" for instance. But one of the major hallmarks of these stories is "traumatized by growing up within the culture" and so if you're not sufficiently harmed these stories often don't quite relate.
What I want... is a description of neurotypicality (holy shit, when I look up the antonym for "autistic" the first internet dictionary hit is "well") by an autistic person. I want something without those assumptions that folks who grow up within a culture that is made for their mind cannot escape. Without that I can't compare the two and see where I stand.
Because here's the thing. The double empathy problem basically says that autistic folks can communicate between themselves pretty ok, and neurotypical folk scan communicate between themselves pretty ok, but communicating across the two groups is difficult. So if you're within a bubble of folks of your neurotype, those pathological characteristics are pretty much not a thing. And, a lot of it is super defined against normative culture. So you get:
Characteristics of autism
Problems with social interaction with others. This may include problems talking back and forth, working, or playing with others
I find that folks *waves generally at the world* can be challenged when I go off-script in a conversation, though they can often come along. The focus of talking generally doesn't involve the approach that talking is a tool to achieve an end and a sense of trying to optimize for that end (intimacy, communication, whatever) and so folks have problems achieving their objectives. Folks also seem to prefer structured play with set rules: sports, board games, card games and have trouble playing in unstructured ways.
For work I got nothin' except that office environments differ wildly and I prefer to avoid the very common "social hour workplaces" where you've got to hear about someone's kids one more time instead of getting that damn paperwork done.
unusual interest in objects
They paid how much for that car? You spend how much time thinking about the exact shape and colour of a textile? What significance exactly is attached to that expensive piece of rock?
need for sameness
Your reaction to a couple hundred hairs on an unusual part of the body is how large? Exactly how much variability in the number of textile tubes covering men's legs is acceptable? How do folks in general react even to a different shade of skin colour? I understand that the reason franchises with shitty food are so, so, so popular is that folks at large love to have their expectations met. They love sameness.
great variation in abilities
This... is a diagnostic criteria? Dear lord. That implies neurotypicals are uniform in abilities? I'd love a list and degree of these activities, though we all know they're just "participates adequately in capitalism".
under or over reaction to one or more of the five senses: sight, touch, taste, smell, or hearing
Sure.
repeated actions or body movements, unusual emotional reactions and expressions
I'm tired of this. You get the point. Though given that PDA folks "appear social but lack understanding" maybe I'm just missing something. It's just choosing a subset of movements, emotions, etc and handwaving certain variations as ok and labeling others as not. By folks who are not supposed to have a "need for sameness". Like I said, not useful.
So how do I figure out if I'm neurotypical?
