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Two days of pottery classes learning teapots and after both days I come home and crash hard. I sleep and sleep and sleep and it's a challenge to get myself up the stairs or sometimes hold my phone, let alone lift anything heavier.

This is supposed to estrange me from my body. I'm supposed to be angry, frustrated with it, to stop believing it's an ally.

In dog training they say that behaviour is communication. My body is an ally. Together we experience joy and pleasure, this weekend and pretty much all days, in greater or lesser quantity. It supports me in taking care of it. When I consider there to be a need it bends its boundaries and allows them to be repaid later.

My society is not an ally. It proscribes the joy I'm supposed to be able to feel, reduces pleasure to a scarce commodity traded for a bucket list of abled activities. Like my body, my society has communicated with me through behaviour: when I have a need it will deny it and leave me without.

I've always been estranged from society. I have no interest in being estranged from my body. Human right or immense privilege, if food or shelter is withheld from me because of my body's capabilities that's not my body's fault. It's my society's. Likewise if joy is supposed to be accessed only through certain body abilities that's an external imposition. I've always had more things I'd like to do than I could reasonably do, both through number and ability. While this doesn't mean I have no loss or grief around some of them that is nothing new n my experience of life.

And so I stagger home to bed, fall asleep, wake up, type with my fingers burning, call the cat over to snuggle, and head back to sleep.
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Tomato seeds are in for the year, I believe 101 or 102 varieties depending on how you count. Several of them are F2s, which is the first variable generation after a cross. Many of them are up already.

Peppers are potted up, mostly, and the couple that didn't germinate are replanted.

I put a bunch of greens in too, though just a couple of each except sorrel, with the plan to start a bunch more for the farmer's market later on. Doesn't impact me, but I believe some legislation was just changed so it wouldn't be legal for actual stores to buy veggies from me unless I did a bunch of licensing stuff and joined a group of some sort based down south. Not a great look, gotta say, for a gov that mouths words about food security. As always I'm excited at the idea of ethiopian kale.

Potato seeds started, though seed potatoes are not ordered. The snow is mostly off the garden, on a sunny day I could go up and plant favas and poppies and I bet the ground would be thawed enough; it's still mostly freezing hard overnight which makes chores less muddy.

Looks like many of the apple seedlings I planted are still up there -- some are not -- but the geese keep getting into the garden and likely will eat them all if I don't get better fencing sorted asap.

No legumes or corn or squash started yet. I'm thinking about doing a round of sweet corn or popcorn on top of my gaspe, I'm more likely to eat popcorn but people locally like sweet corn so a seed crop might be nice. Anyway, I could offset those by starting them indoors, especially if I'm starting from several different varieties. I'd like to try runner beans this year too, I don't really like figuring out support but they're supposed to do well in cooler weather. Maybe on the deck? I have a nice assortment.

I did plant some mache and pak choi on the deck.

I would like salad season.

I set up some damp boxes and am experimenting with those. I'd like to be able to throw a bunch, carve a bunch, and handle a bunch of objects not necessarily in the demanding timespan that air drying with a bit of plastic over them forces on me. Fingers crossed! The damp boxes are just clear bins, I set cardboard in them for the mugs to sit on and I can spritz those or just dump water in. Now I need to shift some shelving so they can be somewhere convenient and also allow more plant space when the tomatoes get potted up.

Geese are sitting in a lot of cases, I'd been hoping to keep them off the eggs until midmonth so no babies happen while I'm gone in early-mid May. I've managed to keep the ducks off at least. It all means lots of eggs for me, I sent a box of them with Tucker and stored a box in the back of my fridge (goose eggs keep for a really long time) and now it's time to start making and freezing pasta dough. The little food processor I got way back when is putting in some hard labour on pasta dough.

Thea has really bad matting on her pantaloons. It must be uncomfortable because she doesn't want me touching it. I think I can get in on Solly's before it's that bad, and Avallu's are good, but I think I might take Thea in for a professional groom. She gets spectacularly motion sick, but there's a groomer just a couple kms down the road, I might even walk her down there?

In other dog news, Avallu let me clip his nails the other day after I worked up to treats-for-touches for awhile. None of them are running on the road much, so they're definitely needing clipping. Thea is Not Having It, Solly will be worked up to it ok, she's just skeptical. And Solly has showed truly excellent escalation from tiny liplifts, through gentle escalating growls, to a sudden but roomy air-lunge with the cats. I'm very pleased; when she arrived she went right to lunging to indicate her displeasure, and I've been working on letting her know that growling is a good communication tool. This just makes her a safer dog all round. The cats appreciate the heads up too, and are feeling safer knowing when to be around her and when not to be (the not being: when she's eating or getting lots of attention from me. We're working on this latter one a bit).

I realize I'm supposed to be making some dishes for my brother's wedding but I haven't been in to the studio to use those bats for plates recently. Hm.

I also started a "mug of the day" post on instagram, where I'll post something about something I've made. Sometimes it will be a glaze detail, sometimes another thing I'm noticing or thinking about. At work it's something about the mug I bring in to drink out of.

Visit with Tucker was excellent, though I didn't love being away from home. Finally talked with Josh about all the stuff that had been waiting on me having energy, and that was good. It's a place to start.

So: lots of good.

The drop-dead date for having completed all the stuff I haven't been able to do to keep working is this fall, and I'm just not able to do it in time, plus work, plus manage my health stuff. So far as I can tell they allow zero accommodation there, too. So this lovely castle in the air I've built myself rests on that foundation until October, when I'll most likely lose my job because I'll be kicked out of the forestry thing for not finishing it. The forestry thing doesn't allow it all to be done separately, only while working, so that's a no go. I'm glad to have had this, anyhow. Not sure how long I'll be able to hold down any other job, like retail or whatever is available in town, since I'm working from bed a couple days a week right now. So I know there are changes ahead, but I'm happy right now. That counts for something.
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10 clays, 10 glazes coloured only with copper = exhibit entitled 100 ways of looking at copper? That would mean 100 pieces which is doable, would 50 be more manageable? Would be neat to do identical shapes, and thus a good throwing/carving skillbuilder.

Clays:

P300
M370
Trillium
M340

M390
Dundee
Mazama

Pioneer Dark
M332
M340

Glazes:

Val's turquoise 3134
Lalone Matte Turquoise
Floating copper 1%
Floating copper 3%
Ravenscrag 1%
Ravenscrag 3%
Celadon chun minspar
Seafoam chun
Earth algae bloom?
Tsabar's peacock?

(Or I could do a 3% copper in a tri or quad test with soda feldspar, potassium feldspar, clay, and limestone?)
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Very satisfying kiln opening last night. Cold night though, I cleaned out the woodstove (it holds a 5 gallon bucket of ashes while still being super useable) and started a new fire. Everything's clean from the equinox cleaning though.

I was using some pretty runny glazes so at last minute I was catastrophizing about things running all over. I'd followed good practices, leaving deep feet and wiping back so the bottom glaze was thinner. Everything turned out well. I think I had 40 pieces in this kiln load, I'm averaging just slightly more than one per day.

A highlight of this opening was a series of carved-mug clay-and-glaze tests I'd done. The carved mugs, together with the glazes I'm settled into, feel like they're approaching a personal style that can evolve over time but still feel relatively related. Variation happens through using the same glaze on different clay bodies, or through layering the set of glazes in different ways, plus through the carving.

I also made up a glaze that turned out quite nice, and I think I'll do some colour tweaking with it.

I also am figuring out issues with some glazes and figuring which ones aren't worth making again.

There have been a couple issues with clay bodies, especially where I swirled the IMCO Night clay in with anything. Plainsman clays seem to swirl ok with other plainsman clays, but maybe best not to cross brands.

So, more info with glazes:

My storebought Georgie's hot orchid doesn't cover dark clays.

The New Hagi ash glaze bubbles when too thick, and maybe isn't as good at cone 5 1/2 as at 6. I'll need to work on the glaze a little more, as one would expect. I would like to try doing maybe a triaxial blend mixing different proportions of that wood ash, of maybe my local clay, and a melting agent to see what I can pull out. Someone online calls that kind of testing "discovering glazes" and I'll need to do it each time I have new clays or a new batch of wood ash.

The Oldforge Floating Copper remains almost nuclear glowing, though where I used copper oxide instead of copper carbonate it is much specklier and not quite as even, I think? Also there's a difference between the 1% (glowing green-blue) and 3% (glowing blue) copper carb, so it might be worth keeping a couple different buckets around of each. This is 100% a keeper.

The Oldforge Floating Iron is a beautiful blue breaking warm brown on darker clay bodies, it's oranger on light bodies. It's truly gorgeous over the dark ones, flowing and depthy, and it's a keeper but it needs a bigger bucket for full dunking.

Val's Turquoise 3134 is thick, covering, and reliable. It even covers IMCO Night. Seems like Val Cushing did several turquoises, this one is an adaptation, and it's glossy. It's definitely going to be a longterm one, though not easily on carving unless it's wiped back. Sadly their Matte Turquoise uses materials that aren't available, but I'm considering trying to adapt it.

Celadon Chun with Minspar is clear, like the hot orchid, so it really needs a big bucket for even dipping. It looks like it's going to be a good layering glaze, which would be lovely-- I'm just starting to explore that.

Oldforge Misty Sunrise I was hoping would be a good manganese something. It's a weird brown on darker bodies, though a pleasant peachy sand colour on light. I probably won't make more of this. I do want to look into manganese violets though, and the chemical makes nice mirror surfaces too.

Ravenscrag Floating Blue is a much softer blue than Alberta Slip. It's less floating but it breaks well; it's almost a baby blue version. I'm not sure how I feel about this so I'll use the cup for a bit, use the rest of the tester up in a couple different situations, and consider.

My Ravenscrag floating copper was an attempt at putting turquoise colours into a local-materials, simple glaze. I used 3% copper, I think, and it's a serene smooth green towards aqua surface. I'm very pleased, and I want to take that same base and do some colourant testing, as well as trying titanium and rutile in it for better variegation.

Storebought "Pumpernickel" from the pottery supply house looks glorious over dark clays with carving and texture. Probably will keep buying?

Storebought "AMACO seaweed" is weird on its own, but glorious with even a single layer under both the cedar hill white at the studio and my ash glaze. It's especially glorious under both. There's a lovely brown break over texture and blue/green/paleish flow down smooth facets. There's something on glazy called "Leah's Seaweed" which I want to check and see if it's a reasonable equivalent that I can make myself, it's based on oldforge glazes so I'm helpful.

As for glazes we tried at the studio, "bubblegum" from glazy, which I translated from dutch, is the only reliable pink I've seen. It covers texture, looks like, but it's a very very good pink.

The Alberta Slip floating blue doesn't seem to care whether we use 1 or 2% cobalt, though it's still super thick.

We added 1% clay and 1.25% silica to the Oldforge Misty Forest and it doesn't seem to be crazing at all. The phase separation and flow is a little reduced, but that could be the cooler fire as well. It looks great. I need to do some boiling water/ice tests on it to make sure it isn't crazing, but I'm hopeful. Given just how much it's not crazing, and where in the stull chart it lands, I'm wondering if we didn't mis-measure when we did the first test somehow. Either way, that's good. I can't wait to have a full bucket of this for easy dipping, and to compare it side-by-side to the floating copper which is the same ingredients in slightly different proportions.

The raspberry riff asked for more than half as much again water as most glazes, and on the test pot it looked very thin. So, gonna try removing some water and seeing what happens. I think the bubblegum will be what we go with though, for purple/pinks.

I need to make up a new bucket of opal blue since the one we have is almost gone.

Clay bodies, current state:

I'm getting more of a handle on these now.

Buff/Brown:

Plainsman Pioneer Dark is really hard to cover with glaze, and it's a nice buff brown. It throws well and cracks slightly on drying. It has very low absorption.

M332 is a good sandy brown, darker than pioneer dark but in the same brown family. Unfortunately they've tweaked it to be very absorptive, up to 5%. Otherwise I'd use it instead of pioneer dark since it doesn't crack and it's cheap. I'm reluctant to use it on food now because it's all on the glaze to prevent absorption, and part of the beauty of these coloured clays is leaving them bare. It takes glaze really nicely, too.

So of the above two I only need one brown, I'm not super happy with either? I'm considering trying M350 which is lighter brown and less absorbent than M332, but still not as vitrified as I'd like.

Black:

IMCO Night remains challenging to work with but I think will be easier on our cone 5 1/2 fires than cone 6 ones. I like how much it alters glazes (doesn't just eat them like the pioneer dark) and I will keep using it. It's special.

Plainsman Coffee actually has retained an ok level of vitrification/lack of absorbency with the recent changes. It's less black and more a deep brown but not as earthy as that description would suggest. It takes glazes nicely, alchemizes carvings and blues especially, and is nice to throw with. I'll keep using this one even though it's expensive.

Red:

Whoo, ok.

Dundee red and Mazama red: I still keep mixing up these two Georgie's clays. I think Mazama red is the oranger one, and Dundee is the redder one? The redder one is gorgeous, speckles and influences glazes strongly, and the box I got was hard to throw because it was so wet. I'm not sure if drying it out a little before I used it would help. The oranger one also speckles glazes strongly, almost as much as an actual speckled clay, which lends a neat effect to some glazes. It's easier to throw but not as spectacular. Neither are hugely expensive but they are a bit challenging to get, and both vitrify well. I think the Dundee might go almost purple when it flashes at the edge of the glazes. I'm putting these in the "play with in the future" category. It also cracks on drying, like the pioneer dark, particularly S cracks on mugs.

M390 is the red plainsman clay, so it's been tweaked to be more porous as the others have been. It annoys me to no end that plainsman, which is the local clay company, doesn't make a fully food safe (eg doesn't harbour bacteria in pores) clay that can take not being fully glazed and still reach the highest standard of safety. I know it's hard with red clays, iron melts at too low a temperature. I know a lot of clays that fire to these temperatures are a lot worse, and even plainsman offers worse ones. Still, I'm not happy. This will likely be my red clay of choice but I am hoping more trials with Dundee above let me make better friends with it. There aren't too many other brands available here. Anyhow, the 390 throws well, carves well, doesn't crack, and is nice to glazes. It just has a bit more porosity than I'd like.

Both Tucker's and PSH offer red and brown clays that may work better, but shipping is likely a lot. I may look into them anyhow? Feels weird to test so many and not come up with any I'm fully satisfied with.

White, buff, and porcelain:

Trillium white porcelain by Georgie's I haven' tested yet.

P300 porcelain by plainsman is lovely to throw but dried/hardens in the block pretty quickly. It's fully vitreous when fired and it shows glazes brightly, without adding any variation. I want to play with carving this, though it isn't cheap. It's weird to carve things when so much is discarded. Anyhow, this doesn't crack on me and it's easy to work with. It's weird to keep around because it hardens though.

M370 is a plainsman white clay that's a little stronger than the p300 but still fires very white and smooth. It's a little more interesting with glazes over it than the porcelain is, that is, it alters the glaze a bit but not a lot. It's ok carved. It's a hair less expensive than the p300 but not much, and it keeps longer. Right now it's my go-to clay where I'm just trying to do a glazed design without really interacting with the clay. I suspect it'll keep being my default for now.

M340 is a plainsman buff clay. It's super cheap, kind of sandy, and in the past I haven't liked it as much because I didn't love the colour of the clay when fired: kind of a medium beige. I'm going to trial it for pieces that are completely covered in glaze so the colour of the clay doesn't matter, and I think it might show through green glaze when it has strongly carved texture in an interesting way. It was the clay we were started on. Getting some because it's cheap, to experiment. Maybe it'll encourage me to do deeper carvings since I won't be as concerned with the waste?
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Tired of medical stuff? I sure am. )

In other news I potted up my F2 heirloom mini x baby jade seedlings, there's time nice variation there. I set up some lights in the basement after clearing out some of my closet for pottery supplies (the closet is right next to the wheel). After those tomatolets and some of the peppers got potted up I ran out of shelving, so I need more shelving to set up more lights on. I'd been going to put them in the nutri-tower but I can't find the clippies to set it up.

I need to replant one set of peppers, and finish winnowing down which tomatoes I'm planting this year. I'm down to 70 varieties, which is pretty good honestly. I also want to remember to plant a bunch to sell.

Obviously I need to grow a bunch of the F2s I produced last year, some of my good favourites, some new quick red ones, and some new fancy ones. The F2s really need a good quantity of grow-outs so it starts to limit the rest.

Some of my micro tomatoes from the micro tomato project are forming baby tomatoes, they're carrot leaf plants and I can't wait to see what happens! They may have brown or large fruits.

I also found some carbon x zesty green F1 seeds which is amazing and I really hope they grow. They were in a tiny weirdly-shaped tomato and there are only a couple seeds, that happens sometimes with hand pollination and bagging.

Meanwhile the geese are laying-- I had sorted out a few extra nests for them on the weekend. They're adorable and I want goslings this year. Not sure if I want to incubate or not. The ducks are in spring plumage and therefore gorgeous. The silkies remain tiny and cute.

Woodstove is out, it's been warm and the house has been spiking in the afternoons due to the angle of the sun. It's supposed to be cold the next little while so although I've cleaned the chimney I need to clean the ash box and maybe start another fire or two for a couple days.

The government is already sending out "watch for burning bans" ads over fb and youtube, we're all nervous about the spring and fires.

There was a glaze fire Sunday night in the studio kiln, it cooled yesterday and so we can open it after work today. I've been seized by catastrophizing that my new glazes have run all over all the shelves and wrecked them. They're probably fine. We fired at cone 5 with a 12 minute hold instead of the previous cone 6 because the kiln was overshooting some so they should run less than previous, and I was pretty careful.

Tucker, his partner, and her kid are going to visit some friends for the eclipse. I made a set of eclipse mugs for them all, one of the first times I've worked to an idea I clearly visualized in advance, and I'm very curious to see how they come out. It takes skill to be very deliberate in a creation like this and I'm still only building skill slowly and in slow kilnload-by-kilnload iterations.

I haven't been able to throw in awhile, it seems like an exceptionally bad idea with the migraine hanging over everything, so I have some ideas piling up.

Today I'm still getting visual artifacts but am in much less incipient pain so yay! And also bad to work. Oh well.

Big update infodump I guess. I think I'd be writing more if screens weren't so weird and uncomfy. Maybe I should start vlogging or something. Is there an audio equivalent?
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It's been awhile since I wrote. I had that truly terrible cluster of migraine symptoms at first, then work was extremely busy -- we did a last minute heli flight that lasted a full workday, then I was helping with a conference one town over, then I was recovering, then I was helping with our seedy saturday, then I did a tiny bit of pottery at the studio, now it's now. It really took everything I had to get through that. I gave up on non-masked human social stuff for that couple weeks, on doing more than minimum for food and house. Now I want to sink into the deep pool of peace that is my house and my life. I want to watch my cat sleeping and intermittently pet him for hours while my mind unspools and processes.

There's a lot to process.

It's spring and the geese are all over the yard looking for nests and there are melt-pools everywhere. I can hear gregarious honking through my dog door.

While I was at the end of the conference, but still in it, before the drive home, I was sending off a quick email to my supervisor about how my work hours supported the yearly priority plan. I used the term "DEI" and he didn't know what that meant; I sent him a copy of our organization's new DEI plan that had come out and been circulated something like last fall and he said thank you; he didn't dispute (and never does) the time I spend on this but wow.

I introduced my colleague to proper vietnamese food for the first time and as I was dressing and flipping my pho he asked how I knew how to eat it. He loved it, even the (truly phenomenal) fish sauce.

I gave away 8 mugs as door prizes and several hundred packets of my own seed at seedy saturday. They had someone else as a speaker this year talking about "proper" seed saving (how not to cross, for instance) so I spent my time at the seed tables. First I was stuffing envelopes with seed and directing people to label them as I stuffed, but we quickly ran out of packets. Then I showed people how to do the origami seed packets, the librarian used her paper cutter and a pile of recycled paper to make squares, and we folded, filled, and taped. People kept coming in with big bags of seed. Someone came in with elaborate origami seed packets with a crane folded into them. We had such an incredible richness of local seeds come in, I felt so honoured, like a conservator of a community treasure. Several thousand packets of seed went out, free, to people. My mugs, some plant starts, other folks' homemade wine went out as door prizes. The space was packed. Everyone said it was an amazing event. One of the speakers brought 75 varieties of tomato seed to give away. They say that in the coastal indigenous cultures your wealth was measured by what you give away, and I always feel that, and last Saturday I felt wealthy. All the extra seeds go to the new seed library in the library there so anyone who missed the event can still grow things. A+ use of my time but following on the end of a long week it was a lot, and by this time I was really missing talking to my people.

Dogs finally got treated for the fleas Solly picked up when she went on her walkabout. I hadn't seen any in the last month but that means very little. I've been watching videos of a professional dog groomer doing livestock guardian dogs on youtube and trying to figure out how I could wash my pups. I'll settle for getting the mats out and doing a deep brush. Avallu's been loving this; I think it's time to start treating Solly for it. Thea has realized it gets her attention so she's settled into it.

My pepper seeds are all up except for the african birds eye. It's getting on time to start tomatoes and separate the peppers, which means setting up more lights, which means clearing a shelf or two, which means doing some work on my storage container. My first round of seeds, tomatoes from Jan 1st, is doing well-- some of the micros are flowering, and the F2s exhibit the breathtaking diversity that hold me in awe and that I'd always hoped to attain.

The headache seems to be somewhat recurring, but not as constant as it was. Nausea is a near-constant struggle. These two things may (?) be correlated to air quality, as they may get worse when I turn off the CR box or have the windows closed? On the other hand it's warmed up and I can keep a couple windows cracked open so my body just feels lighter in a lot of ways.

In two weeks I'm driving to the coast for a couple days to visit Tucker and bring him (and some clay) back up, maybe disseminate some mugs.

This Wed is a bisque kiln and possibly the following weekend a glaze kiln, that doesn't leave much time for glazing.

Odds and ends, unprocessed. Spring is coming. My mind doesn't think well. Still I'm doing what I love and am happy; I only hope this life doesn't have that fall expiry date.
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Glaze kiln opening yesterday was super interesting. I'll talk about it a bit here.

(My headache is gone, I sat in a dark room with my head at a weird angle, something in my neck popped like 12 times in ten minutes, and now I feel ok, if a little dizzy? I wonder if the scent reaction that tightens my shoulder muscles pulled something way out of alignment)

Anyhow. I made several glazes in the turquoise family and tested them, and a couple others, and I tested some studio combinations. Studio ones first:

1. Oldforge floating rutile (glazy 236647) with 90% water overlapped with Opal Blue (glazy 83769) worked shockingly well. The overlap was a baby blue, somewhat textured but not a ton. The floating rutile is a very smooth, even glaze that doesn't break, which always surprises me, and opal blue is one of my favourites. This might be good for my brother's "I like primary colours" wedding stuff?

2. Opal Blue with cedar hill white (glazy 10972) overtop on a plate did some amazing strong texturing and cell patterning. Not sure how it would do on a more vertical surface but I'll do some tests.

3. Bailey's red 2 (glazy 9094) with Blue Opal or Cedar Hill White both work well: with the blue opal it makes a great desert brown, with cedar hill white it makes a good medium brown with texture. With blue opal I get some "and the dry stone no sound of water" resonance for the Waste Land set.

4. AMACO seaweed under Cedar Hill White crawls some and does beautiful waterfall stream effects, it's amazing on carved rocklike surfaces. "Water, and also rock" feel. Sorta PNW during a rain type stream-looking stuff.

Now my own homemade ones:

1. New hagi (glazy 386209) is about 20% ash which I sifted from the birch ash buckets I have been keeping the last few years with a kitchen flour sifter. I'd put it over the copper oxide wash (glazy 132073) in a couple places, and always over a red or dark clay body. It's listed as a satin finish but I think mine was sshinier, though a little textured. It's a gorgeous primitive surface when thin, translucent to transparent, and with two dips it thickens into an easily-breaking titanium pale blue. It picked up the copper wash and went semitranslucent with green in those spots, though it didn't show the carvings the wash was put over as well as I hoped. This is also a good go-to for rock-style carvings and I want to play with painting on washes under it. Also want to try more ash glazes! They have a really warm, organic surface with yellow-amber rivulets and specks.

2. Oldforge floating copper (glazy 150981) is the first of the turquoises. Very transparent at the 90% water I added with hallucinatory near-glowing clouds of blue suspended in the near-clear shine. With less water I suspect it would be a little more opaque, but as it stands it's perfect for my swirled clay because it shows the clay through so well. 1% copper was nearly glow-in-the-dark pastel blue, 3% copper was a bluer and slightly less translucent colour. I want to stick with the 1%, or maybe 1.5%. I need to make a bucket of this and experiment with double-dipping when I want it more opaque. Thin it would be amazing for the whole "of thunder of spring over distant mountains/We who were living are now dying with a little patience" and "If there were the sound of water only".

3. Chun celadon with Minspar (glazy 114001) is... as advertised, and like it's pictured on the tin. Chun and celadon glazes are very transparent and this one is too, with the celadon green from copper. Where it's thick, especially at the bottom where it runs a little into a thicker skirt, it tends towards blue. It covers red clay surprisingly well given that over white clay it looks so watery-transparent. It'll take some skill to learn to use this -- it shows every bit of unevenness of application -- but of all these it gives off the most sense of living pools of water, more warm-climate than glacial. Almost those brilliant coloured algae ponds you see cradled in mud, but also kind of that Caribbean brilliantly clear water? Anyhow I'm surprised by it, it looks exactly like the picture, and I'll need to develop my relationship with it through use.

4. Val's turquoise 3134 (glazy 7245) is an iteration on some of the various very famous turquoise recipes by Val Cushing, but brought up to use modern, available materials mostly. If the floating copper was patches of transparent and opaque, the chun celadon was transparent, this one is deeply creamy and opaque with a glossy surface. It covered all but the most intense texture, it ran some like melting ice cream, and it was a pretty uniform colour without the phase separation that even the test tile on glazy website showed. There were perhaps very subtle orange streaks? It didn't reveal application issues, just sheeted into a smooth turquoise surface. Very interested to see how it layers, as-is it has the danger of being boring. Reminder to self to keep the application thin around the bottom, it wants to drip.

5. Oldforge floating iron (glazy 238642) is the same base as the floating copper but with 10% iron instead of 1-3% copper. I was shocked by this one. Over a red reclaim it came out deep midnight almost-murky blue with red breaking and a fair bit of subtle movement, like my AMACO iron lustre but nicer. This is probably a good default glaze, which is something I never thought I would say. This is also "the shadow under this red rock" without question, both visually and because it's MADE OUT OF IRON.

Where to go from here?

I've been developing a strong emotional relationship with red iron oxide. It's an incredibly vivid, intense material to work with, it stains anything, it's reminiscent of blood and beginnings, and it's the oldest pigment known to be used by people. I didn't realize it would go blue, and as a general rule I don't like yellows and oranges, so I'd kind of tabled it for use in my mind. But. I wonder if I can mix it with some wood ash glazes and maybe a little titanium and get a dark blue breaking rust very heterogenous surface?

More ash glazes. This one turned out surprisingly well but it's only 20% ash. What if I used more ash? A soda feldspar instead of a potassium one? What if I sprinkle sifted ash over another glaze? What if I underpaint with washes?

Application skill. I don't know if just making big buckets of this is all I need, or more. I've been practicing even application but with a small amount it's pretty challenging. Practice a smooth depthy surface for the chun celadon. Can I get a tide pool effect? What about carving details on white clay under it?

More oldforge floating glazes. Magnesium? Cobalt? I know the chrome is nice. What about blends? What about transplanting his cobalt/magnesium from his floating blue into the floating base? What about his strontium glosses? Milk oolong pottery has done a nice series of colours with this, I'll likely riff on them.

Layer with Val's turquoise. It wants to layer.

Bigger buckets of all of the above, maybe with the exception of the celadon chun for now. Need to get some good buckets, a friend from the garden club has a lead on them.

Start paying for glazy.org and use the target and replace function to look into the blue beech (191908) ash glaze, do some colour testing on some other ash glazes and on a ravenscrag and titanium base, look into a tea dust effect ideally without lithium, look into a reflective surface like cammi's infinitely reflective, and maybe look into the selsor chun base.

Find a couple cover glazes, try lynette's opal with 3134 (82212) and see if I can find something like sweetwater warm or alabama rain but with ingredients I have and can get.

Try dipping rims in water or wash and see what happens.

Edited to add: it might be time to print out the poem and start assigning glazes/clay bodies/techniques/textures to the different lines. I think I'll need to source erbium oxide for the hyacinth garden, and maybe use glazy 154831 for the "I could not speak/and my eyes failed" part of that, and I don't think I'll be able to remember those if this takes years. Maybe a spreadsheet actually so I don't lose the paper?
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It's all mud and blood and fire
Dirt and fire and skill
Reaching back into the misty distance
Crystallized into messages
We bequeath ourselves
For as close to eternity as we get.

Looking back
We see ourselves in the magnetic pull of the wheel
Red splattered on our thighs
Birthing beauty and function
Sometimes dying in the fire
And sometimes surviving it
Carrying our fingerprints into the future.

All around me in the studio I see the pottery enforcing both awe and humility on people. It's the same feeling I get working with plants; nature is bigger than us but also is such a magnifier of our abilities. Plants, rocks, it's all chemistry underneath. I like it a lot. I like seeing that combination of awe and humility in people; it's such an understandable way to approach the world and draws me into the community. I love that people are specializing. I love the excitement of the kiln opening.
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This morning I woke up and it was -31C outside, -26C at work. This is really only the third cold spike this winter; it comes after a big day of snow on Sunday and forecast snow this week. I'd taken off work sick for the last couple hours yesterday afternoon, taken several naps, and fed and watered everyone extra. I woke up, filled water in the new downstairs laundry tub, fed and watered everyone again, started up my reliable truck, and drove in to work.

On Sunday I gave a quick workshop to the gardening club on cheap vanduzee-style kratky hydroponics. Folks got to take home lettuce, micro tomato, matchbox pepper, arugula, and tatsoi plants in collars of pool noodle skewered by bbq skewers that held them over jars and a little packet of nutrients. Driving in the highway wasn't ploughed yet, it had about 5" of snow on it. I was impressed, some folks came from the next town over and drove in on that! People were driving reasonably, important when you don't know where the highway is so you need to drive in the middle of it and navigate getting around each other when you meet a car coming the other way. Lots of good chat and met some neighbours, including the one with the oak trees (!) lining her driveway.

After that I went down to the clay studio and spent two hours loading the kiln with glaze tests. I'd had a migraine the week preceeding and making glazes is quiet, can be done from paper rather than a screen, and allows lots of slow and restarting. So I put in several of my own glaze tests, plus some of the big bucket's worth that had been newly mixed at the studio, plus one quick floating blue test for the studio out of alberta slip.

My own tests were chun celadon with minspar; val's turquoise with 3134; oldforge floating base with 10% iron, 3% copper carb, and 1% copper carb; and an ash glaze called "new hagi" from my birch ash. There was also a copper wash in there to pick out carving and see how it goes through those glazes. I also tried a bunch of studio glaze layering including seaweed and bailey's red 2 under the cedar hill white ravenscrag, blue opal and oldforge floating rutile overlap, and some spectacularly splattered tall forms that had used up the remains of bits of glazes people had decanted. Plus other people had bought some glazes and were playing with overlapping. The big kiln was full -- two of my bowls wouldn't fit -- and it will be very very exciting to open. Everyone is excited to see it. It'll be cool today but I don't think anyone with a key will be around, so tomorrow after work will be the opening.

I've been reasonably sick for the last week, basically since the scent issue the Tuesday two weeks ago. I didn't end up going to bed for three days like I probably should have, and ended up carrying symptoms into a true migraine. Funny enough I didn't realize they were migraine symptoms. I seldom get really disabling pain and my normal tell is southwest-patterned chevrons in my right visual field and holes in my left. This time I didn't get those tells, but when I went into the massage therapist she asked a bunch of questions: "pressure on your eyes? photosensitive? short of breath? nauseous? brain fog--" at which point I stopped her and said, "how do you know all this? I don't have all those symptoms now but those are the cluster I get with scent exposure normally" and she said "oh, they're just migraine symptoms". Anyhow, I'm reconsidering my scent reactions now. And I did eventually get a headache because I pushed it, even wearing sunglasses etc.

I had a great visit with Tucker, and a pretty good one with Josh despite being sick and somewhat rushed -- it was a couple days shorter than I expected, which is becoming expected with him. My animals are good and my grain bins are full, my house animals are good and snuggly, I woke up at 3am and stoked the fire and the house stayed nice and warm. My pepper seeds are up, and a couple of my hydroponics tomatoes are forming buds.

As I'm writing I see holes in my visual field that are subtle enough I only really see them when reading. Hm. Never had this linger for two weeks before.

I like it here. I like it here. I like it here. It's my home.
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I didn't expect it but it's perfect
Surface inviting
Like a sponge invites water
A little yielding, a little resistance
A perfect canvas for my pen

My carvings look like flames to me
And between those flames I place
The sparks of hearts
Dense in the center then
Float, dispersing, up to the sky

I don't expect it but it's perfect
Surface inviting, except--
My hearts get stuck in my ribcage
Once I would have written
so many places
so many times
and among it all you:
what awe, what wonder


Surface perfect, surface inviting
The pottery doesn't break
Instead it's my own heart
Watching inscribed hearts spark
And fade into an endless sky
Without a word.

Skills

Jan. 29th, 2024 11:28 am
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Taught the new pottery tech to take the specific gravity of glazes yesterday. I had figured it out by reading about it. She had been given a handout and didn't understand it, by someone who had never done it and I suspect didn't care to understand it. I also gave the tech the link to the "for flux sake" podcast which goes into a bunch of nuts-and-bolts stuff around the practical parts of glaze chemistry and running a studio. I wish there were more pottery podcasts like that and fewer "meet this potter artist in an interview and learn about their inspiration, how they started, and how they use art words". Like, I'm not opposed to having those, but there are roughly one to two hundred hours of that kind of podcast for every hour of practical stuff around how to make clay or glazes do things.

We also did a bunch of glazing with the new pottery glazes, and I introduced one of the members to websites where people layer and posts pictures of premade glazes. I don't think she knew that premade non-underglaze things existed. It's fun, I'm pretty sure she's also on the special interest train because she says this stuff lives in her head.

Apparently the new tech can't mix glazes because of her asthma, and she doesn't yet know how to run the kiln, so I'm coming in this Wednesday to run the kiln and... well, they'd likely like me to come in the next weekend to mix glazes but 1) I've been busy too many days in a row and it's causing my body to malfunction and 2) Tucker will be here and I want to spend time with him. So, I'll trust that the folks I mixed glazes with before, volunteers, can do it again if they want glazes.

Workshop last weekend went well, people got to take home plants and craft plant markers and folks chatted and had a good time. No one mentioned my mask -- I was the only person masking in the building -- so we'll call that ok too. Next workshop is kratky lettuces, I should get some started as a demo.

cw sui
Read more... )

I also continue to lose capacity, especially if I don't spend a couple days a week lying down. I think it might be time to talk more about this with my doctor. I mean, I don't know how or what, but I don't think we've found the solution. Same questions as always, is it "just" autistic burnout, is it some sort of post-covid post-exertional malaise thing, is it some random autoimmune thing that all have the same vague symptoms, who would even know to rule these things out? I'm starting to get a ton of ads from everything from psychiatrists to physios to whatever else to "help navigate the medical system and bring back functionality" and I hate the idea that our system is built so folks who are least able need to pay to navigate this. I'm very lucky to have a job where I can functionally slack a bunch if I need to but I can't do nothing.

This last thought brought to you by trying to type this morning with arms that felt like noodles. Kind of ironic that I finally have community in this town, both a garden club and a pottery club, imagine that! but that my body is just kind of not having any of it.
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Did things every day over the weekend. Brain is mush. In the office but very ineffective.

Kiln openings very interesting.

There were no issues with the bisque kiln, whatever weird loud cracking noises I heard was I guess normal.

The glaze kiln opening was very interesting. The kiln had fired to a pretty high cone 6, we didn't have a cone 7 witness cone so who knows exactly what it got to but it was overfired for 6-- maybe because it was so sparsely packed?

My black/white spiral mugs seem like they're just gonna bloat under glaze in there. I tried clear glaze on a couple test ones and they bloated, so I imagine both the flux in the glaze and the high temp did that? Maybe they need a longer bisque? I should shatter one to check for carbon coring, but also when I have my own kiln I can play with firing temps.

The studio clear glaze over non-Night spiral ware was full of bubbles, not big bubbles you can feel but tiny bubbles that make it cloudy. Honestly it looks like a deliberate effect it's so intense, like foam almost with a smooth surface, but I want to be able to see the swirls and not the glaze. I'll have to experiment with that on my own.

My Georgie's clays turned out nice. The pioneer dark is a good brown colour but it's hard on glazes. One of the two reds, the hardest one to work, is absolutely gorgeous. That's the one I labelled mazama. The other is more orange and I've labelled it dundee. I may have switched labels accidentally? Though these clays do a lot of s-cracking and need very careful drying the red and the brown are very pretty and maybe worth keeping, especially since they seem to vitrify well.

Night clay remains magic in the way it metallic spots.

Coffee clay is a nice solid workhorse, as is m300 and m370.

I did very few glazes in various combinations; I'd been putting Spectrum texture chowder from the studio on my rims but this time it peeled a lot, which led to crawling. However it stayed on over the studio's plum and led to some gorgeous orange-over-grey-purple runs. I wouldn't have thought those would be attractive colours but they're actually lovely imbolc colours. Some nice standard opal/seafoam colours where they didn't jump off the pot.

The studio had made up five glazes we'd never used before and one we had. We added too much water to most since they seem to be allergic to checking specific gravity there, but the tests turned out nice if a little thin. A little more work on them and they should be very nice: bailey's red 2, pike's purple, oldforge floating rutile, oldforge misty forest, cedar hill white, and the classic licorice. I'm looking forward to using them and to having big buckets of them once we figure out water percentages. We'd also like to do about 5 more glazes, will be fun to have those. The glaze-making process was great, there are definitely a couple people at the studio who can mix them up on their own now.

I'd further tested some opulence glazes I'd bought dried. The instructions said to add "4.5lbs water or 2.5 kg water" which... are not the same thing. I added 2kg water and they turned out nice, maybe a hair thin but decent coverage and nice breaking on my carved mugs. This may have been the end of my long-suffering immersion blender; it's probably time to get two more, one for the kitchen and one for hobbies.

So, fairly good. Now I have to think about how I want to use all these glazes, which direction I want to go in for shape and materials for what I make to glaze, and what I want to make for my home studio glazes when my materials and later kiln arrive.

But, tired. It took me several hours to write this and there's more to think about.

In addition I realized that in the time I've been doing forestry, no one's actually asked me a question about the state of the forests, though many many people have shared strong opinions on what should be done. It made me more tired. Oh well.
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This morning I got up, fed and watered animals, collected eggs, refilled the fire, got dressed, packed a breakfast and a lunch, warmed up the truck, drove to work...

...and realized I'd left my work laptop at home so I drove back home and am working from home right now. I'll go in at lunch, and then leave work early for the kiln openings in the afternoon. Bear and Whiskey are very happy. Bear is kissing me and softpawing my face and purring.

Given that I had to wait for a moose to cross the road on top of that it's a slow work morning.

I've been having real trouble breathing. Benedryl works for it. I've been wondering if some of my breathing stuff was maybe partial silent anaphylaxis. My skin has always reacted with random allergy-response, and I've wondered about the rest of my body. It likely warrants a doctor's walk-in visit sooner than I can get in to my regular doctor. It's really unpleasant to try and breathe but have my throat stick to itself when I'm trying to get air in.

Writing it out like that, and that I have a plan to stagger out past my gate and close it behind me and text someone to call 911 if my throat really closes, so the animals are ok-- yeah, I should probably treat this with some urgency, because that is not a desireable outcome and it's uncomfortable. And who knows, maybe they can do something about it.

Edited to add: I opened my mason jar of tea and noticed I left the spoon in it from adding honey this morning too.
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THERE ARE TWO KILNS FIRING AT THE STUDIO RIGHT NOW.

ONE IS BISQUE AND WHEN I WAS LISTENING TO IT RAMP DOWN YESTERDAY IT MADE LOUD SCARY NOISES AND I WANT TO SEE IF IT'S ALL BROKEN BUT I HAVE TO WAIT. I LOADED IT SO IF IT'S BROKEN IT'S MAYBE MY FAULT.

THE OTHER IS GLAZE AND WE MADE 6 GLAZES FOR THE STUDIO YESTERDAY, 5 THAT WE'VE NEVER MADE BEFORE, AND THEY ARE IN THERE. ALSO IN THERE ARE 4 OF MY NEW OPULENCE GLAZES AND THE 3 GEORGIE'S CLAYS I'VE NEVER SEEN FULLY FIRED BEFORE.

27.75 HOURS BEFORE I CAN SEE WHAT'S IN THEM.

WAITING IS NOT MY STRONG SUIT.
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Every day there's more sunshine.

We had a fresh blanket of snow two nights ago and through into yesterday early afternoon. I popped out on work breaks to snowblow, working from home, and it was the kind of fine dusty-sand snow that blows all around and is easy to snowblow but hard to walk through.

Today it's very sunny, -20C. That sounds cold but with the sun at least making it above not just the horizon but the trees there's so much directional radiant heat and everything is bathed in light. The air is cold enough that it's full of glitter, sparkling like a christmas card or fantasy movie set.

I have a friend at a similar latitude in maybe Sweden whose geese are starting to posture. I should split off a couple groups for breeding before they pair off inappropriately.

I started seeds for the garden club meeting in two weeks, we'll be splitting the tightly-packed seedlings at the first leaf stage and everyone will be potting up some micro tomatoes and small pot-friendly peppers. It's much too early to plant indoor starts for planting outdoors at the end of May, so this is a way to get our hands in the dirt and play with seeds and build some community without having overgrown seedlings later on. Plus it introduces people to micro tomatoes and I do have a ton of micro seeds. The club is providing soil and pots (I am also bringing some pots scavenged from the grocery store program's poinsettas). This makes me happy.

My apple seeds will arrive soon and I will soak and stratify them. I have no money right now but am hoping to order a couple more haskaps and some oaks for this year. Maybe I'll sell some pottery to do it?

Speaking of selling pottery, I have the kiln lined up to buy from my mentor in spring, but money is a definite issue. I'm considering doing a "help set up my ceramics studio" kickstarter/indiegogo/maybe patreon sales type thing, though it makes me nervous. I do love the idea of crafting items for people based on a couple data points though (big or small, handle or no handle, texture or no texture, colour family, choose a word if you like).
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Tonight my muse could be apple trees
Never dreamed of in the last hundred years
Each one as unique as any human
Unfurling in the spring sun.

Tonight my muse could be the first leaves of the year
Born from my intimacy with generations of green leafy parents
And creating intimacy with generations of ancestors
Blessing me with their presence.

Tonight my muse could be time
Like an elastic band
Drawing me tighter to my dogs
Who improbably sweeten with every passing day
Before the band snaps and they’ll be gone from me forever.

Tonight my muse could be security,
Four safe walls for the first time
With the paradox of an expiry date drawing near.

Tonight my muse could be surface
Obscuring interiors
Revealing shape
But distorted by tricks of the light.

Tonight my muse could have been love
A building, a painting, a song that one person alone could never create
A staircase climbed
A shared aspiration

Tonight my muse is the saying
Fool me once, shame on you
Fool me twice, shame on me.

Tonight my muse is the song
99 bottles of beer on the wall
Take one down, smash it around
98 bottles of beer on the wall.
**

If I had a kiln I would name her Persephone
Womb of transformation
Alchemizing a little dust
Into red rock.

If I had a kiln I would name her Persephone
Home of the mystery
Of how fire either destroys
Or transforms mud and marks into something quite different
Into something that will last forever.

If I had a kiln I would name her Persephone
I would hand her my feelings
Writ in dirt
And she would make of them something beautiful

If I had a kiln I would name her Persephone
And she would transmute my recklessness
Half into death and destruction
And half into hungry flowers resplendent in the spring light

If I had a kiln I would name her Persephone
Neither of us would be able to see the future
But together we could make it
Into something beautiful.

If I had a kiln I would name her Persephone
She would be the warmest thing I knew
Surprising me with my own images
Bright and not yet broken
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Playing with clay using the community studio is a slow process. They do a bisque fire roughly once a month or slightly more frequently, and a glaze firing about the same. If there are classes running it can be a little more frequently. This summer I'd gone to Sherry's and that's where I learned just how different the experience of throwing different clays could be: I used a porcelain there and it was like butter, my skill felt a million times higher than it had previously.

Going into winter I got a box of as many clay bodies as I thought might be remotely interesting ("clay body" is the pottery term for what most people think of as clay, the stuff you shape on a wheel to make cups and things). Since clay can't really be shipped over the winter -- it's bad for it to freeze -- I thought I'd spend the winter testing different clay bodies and in the spring when it came time to renew my supply I'd know which one(s) I wanted to keep working with. I knew that the texture of the clay really affects how it's shaped, different ones behave very differently in all sorts of different ways, and I wanted to settle on one or two I liked so that as I went on to build skill I was building that skill with a material I felt an affinity with.

I got lots of different clays, did I mention that? 11 varieties if I'm counting right. I've worked with 10 of them at least a little. As I've learned it takes awhile to figure out each one, so it's not as simple as making one item out of all of them sequentially; in that case they'd all fail. So I spend a little time with one and then another, but one will pull me back because I have a good idea for it, like that. In practice this means that while I've shaped 10 into at least something, I have not taken nearly that many through a final glaze fire, or really spent enough time to learn them well enough. Glazes will also all react differently to different clay bodies. They will run differently, be different colours, and on some will just not work.

So to thoroughly test a clay I need to throw lots of pots on the wheel with it, see how they dry (the last three I tried cracked a bit as they dried), see how handles pull and attach, see how they work rolling out slabs to make plates (plates crack and warp notoriously), do finishing bits like sanding and smoothing, see how they behave in bisque fire, see how different glazes react on them, and see how they feel in my hands afterwards. You can imagine that if I'm iterating on this process it takes awhile.

And it turns out I like most of them, or at least have a couple purposes they each seem best fit to, while there are some others that are just completely magic. Some notes so far, which I expect to change with use:

M340 plainsman buff: first one I learned on up here, the people who do the wheel-throwing class use it. It's groggy, which means it has a bunch of what feels like sand in it. This makes it stronger but also it abrades my hands if I use it a lot. It's the colour of summer cream, a warm off-white. I didn't enjoy it in the beginning but like with many of these I think it'll be useful for specific effects. It's made of native clays, which means it's cheap and unlikely to be effected by various mineral and mine changes that will impact the more recipe-based clays.

M332 plainsman sandy orange-red-brown: I had high hopes for this one when I got it and although I'm still learning it, I like it very much. It's very rough and groggy, the roughest of all the clays on this list, with a tendency to chew up my fingernails. It also doesn't fully vitrify, that is, it remains a tiny bit porous, which can be an issue for dishwasher and microwave ware (though my test bowls have been fine so far). This roughness, along with its nice medium red colour, allow for some very nice natural rock textures and great friction on the side of cups when it's left raw. If some of the white and black clays feel otherworldly and magical, this clay feels firmly earthy and grounding. Plus it's a native clay and inexpensive.

M390 plainsman red: Another inexpensive native clay, this one is smoother and browner/deeper red than the M332. It's fairly easy to work, and it's a red clay that vitrifies, so its good for work with parts that will be left bare of glaze. I guess because it's inexpensive and easy to work it's also good for anything that will be covered in iron-friendly glazes: the iron that creates the red in this clay can also intensify blues and add interest to whites, for example. Though it's smoother than M332 it's still sandy, more like fine sand, to the touch when it's done if it hasn't been burnished. The particular colour of this one looks amazing if it's highly textured and then the glaze breaks or parts to show bits of the clay colour peeking through.

M370 plainsman smooth white: PDA actually turned me against this one for a bit (someone recommended it, ugh) but I got over that. It's mainly, though not completely, native clays so it has a mid-range price tag. It's the whitest one on this list so far, not cream but closer to real white, and very smooth. It's not as plastic as porcelain, that is, it pushes back a little when it's shaped (or when you make a mistake) but it's still very easy to shape. The surface is very much like a blank page or a blank canvas; I don't find it inspiring but I find it very easy to sit down and throw half a dozen well-controlled shapes, attach the handles easily, and unlike the red and black clays I'm not sad about covering it up with glaze. Although it's not as smooth as porcelain it does take edges well when I texture it without sand particles roughing that clean appearance. It vitrifies well.

P300 plainsman porcelain: Porcelain seems to be much easier to throw than regular earthenware for me (porcelain is mostly smoother and whiter and generally stickier). It just goes where I put it and it stays there. This means I can achieve more even walls and more thoughtful shapes with it, and like the m370 it's a pure white that takes even very fine detail without the clay's texture chiming in. Porcelain isn't a native body here and it's fairly expensive, though this porcelain is a non-translucent one and so is on the cheaper end for porcelains -- about twice the cost of the native bodies. The way it moves on the wheel is inspiring to me in a way the m370 is not. "They" say that porcelain is harder to throw than other clays because it needs more control and can get oversaturated quickly and then lose stability, but maybe because I have less strength in my hands nowadays I can direct the work better without having to muscle anything around. In what sounds like a contradiction I can also move it around more aggressively instead of doing several passes to get to the shape I want. It just feels more like I'm manifesting something in my mind directly with my hands, I guess. The white surface is also gorgeous juxtaposed with the rougher or more coloured reds or black. Because it's so white, when the surface is left raw it can have an otherworldly effect. One of the characteristics of porcelain is that it vitrifies more or less fully, so leaving it raw doesn't decrease its functionality.

Coffee plainsman deep brown: this is a pretty smooth, very dark brown clay that I've tended to hoard because I like it a lot. It's mostly native clays, I think basically a more finely ground M390 base, with another native clay full of iron added in. It has enough surface to look interesting, it plays very well with glazes by shifting what they look like a little but almost always in an interesting and nondestructive way, it's easy to throw. It's pricey, about twice the cheaper native clays so it's up there with porcelain, but it just looks nice and it's fun to use. It, along with M390, were the first colours that evoked the waste land poem for me and it's patiently sitting there with some opal blue glaze as my shower soap dish waiting for me to have my kiln and come back to that inspiration.

IMCO night black: this is very smooth and it makes for lovely lines when throwing. It's priced like a porcelain, and it's a non-native body that contains a lot of manganese. It ends up black, black, black after a glaze firing. It alters glazes intensely since manganese is not just a colourant but also can give metallic effects to glazes at high concentrations. Manganese isn't great to breathe when it's firing, which is fine since we fire overnight at the studio and when I have my kiln it will be in the carport. Sometimes it will react badly with glazes and bloat, blister, or pinhole. All this means that it's not predictable without a lot of work and practice, but that it makes truly otherworldly-looking pieces with glints of metal and purple on the glazes. I am always drawn to unpredictability when making art, or semi-predictability I guess, so I want to do a ton of this and figure it out. Therefore it's on hold mostly until I have my final suite of glazes available, I'd hate to do all the testing work and then have to start again with a different glaze set, but I love love love this clay and I really hope no materials shortages remove it from my reach. It also takes handles better than any other clay.

Georgie's pioneer dark buff, mazama red, dundee red, and trillium porcelain: I got four Georgie's clays. They're from a place that's open outside of work hours, so it's easier for me to ask someone to pick them up and bring them up here, but I haven't spent much time with them yet. All three have a tendency to s-crack on the bottom when they're drying. I haven't glaze fired them yet to know texture or colour. The pioneer dark throws really big quite easily, while the dundee throws like whipped cream (firm peaks).
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Connection with Tucker continues to deepen in a way that feels cautiously safe enough for me to mostly own where my attachment issues are - even the ones that were previously caused by his behaviour, there's space to listen and empathize. That's good. There's a lot of baggage, that's hard, but I'm mostly hopeful.

Solly has not yet learned to use the dog door but the dogs have all been in the woodstove room at once, or in various pairs, though she's still getting some counterconditioning around guarding things, and she's poorly mannered about the sofa (but is getting better). Still, we've had nice evenings with all three dogs and a couple cats snuggled up in here. Solly is also re-learning her growl and I'm so proud of her (haha, as someone who spends time with folks who have trouble expressing "negative" emotions I guess) and she's growled several times now instead of going straight to a lunge-and-air-nip. Thea needs daily love and attention for her to not guard Solly away from me in the downstairs. Avallu will not displace cats who are lying in his bed, and so has been sad.

I cleaned the chimney a couple days before new years and relit from the ashes. Chimney was good and clean from burning dry birch. I want to make a better woodshed and get a bunch more birch if possible.

Making a ton of pottery. Downloaded a tracking app and am numbering anything that will be bisqued in 2024 as 24-1 through 24-whatever.

Josh and Tucker both might be visiting in Feb.

It's been ultra warm, not even consistently below freezing though the ground is frozen and we finally got snow a couple weeks ago for insulation. Finally have -20C in the forecast. Very curious to see how the rest of the winter goes.

Last night, on the 1st of the year, I planted 4-6 seeds each of 8 types of tomatoes: two I'd got from a silvery fir micro lineage for testing online, two for crossbreeding (mission mountain sunrise and sweet cheriette), and 4 of my own crosses (unknown whether F1 or F2) sweet baby jade x hardin's mini, F2 zesty green (an offtype of karma miracle I think) x silvery fir, F1 of mission mountain sunrise x (F1 of aerogarden "heirloom" micro x sweet baby jade), and F2 sweet cheriette x karma miracle. This morning I woke up and, knowing those seeds were planted in the next room, I couldn't stop smiling. It's not a lot for growouts but it gives me something to look at, and it's my first manually crossed F2s!!!!!!

Working on a micro tomato workshop for the garden club. The grocery store gave me their poinsettas, so I can use those pots and some scavenged soil and my own micro seeds and people can plant their own. This is the time of year everyone wants to plant things but it's too early to start outdoor veggies. I love being able to help people do plants, especially at low-to-no cost. The garden club is trying to plan one workshop per month and a couple seed swaps at the right time for different plants (early flowers, veggies, and probably plant-straight-outdoors plants).

I am inspired to do some sunreturn pottery as the days get noticably longer (and maybe some wheel pottery at summer solstice?). Tucker requested something firey, and I realized in that moment that good reds usually come from reduction firing-- that is, heating the clay with actual fire instead of electricity, so the fire eats the oxygen and you get different chemical reactions and thus colours than you do with electricity and exygenated air. Relatedly, someone about 3.5 hours away offered for me to fire pots with her. That's relatively close in the scheme of things. I'd like to figure out some sort of wood firing here, not sure if barrel or pit or clay oven style.

I'm going to open Threshold to folks who want to celebrate the solstice and eating and planting and telling stories and maybe canning or sausagemaking or making clay things and who knows what for a week around June 17-24 this year. Hopefully I'll have the outdoor shower & maybe an outdoor toilet by then, there's some camping space maybe even fenced off from geese and some room in the house. It's going to be a big lift but it's important. Need to figure out covid protocols etc. Hoping too much of the province is not on fire by then, we're still in hella drought and I know a lot of those fires are burning under the snow. Flying over them some of the fires were very patchy, so there's lots of edge for fuel to be living in.

Little Bear the kitten manages to somehow be adorable enough that I welcome his help in keeping surfaces clean rather than being upset that he knocks things over and tracks mud onto my neck etc. His current hobbies are windowsills and sinks but they change often.

Tucker got me some lights from ikea as a christmas gift and I'm using them to set up shelves to display my unfinished pottery so I can stare at it after bisque and before glazing and let a creative process of some kind happen. Downstairs is getting really nice. The lights and shelves are as much of a game changer as the couch or the storage can.

It's cat brushing season and now Hazard is demanding, not just food in the mornings, but also brushing.

Argh

Dec. 7th, 2023 08:46 am
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Pottery thing last night. She walked it back a bunch so it actually felt welcoming, and another of the other members is getting interested in glazes.

People are complicated.

I ended up staying late last night and I have another heli flight today, and my body is so over all this. I've cancelled with Kelsey because I won't be safe driving to pick her up, and will spend tomorrow and Sat in bed in all likelihood.

Need to get food and gravol in myself pretty quick here so I can be ready for the flight. Very very few people don't get motion sick in a helicopter and apparently I'm better than most, but I still want to have myself sorted.
greenstorm: (Default)
Last night I went over to help the person who's going to run the administrative part of the pottery studio put together glazes. I'd ganked and repurposed a google spreadsheet of a good range of glazes that all used a relatively small subset of the available ingredients so we wouldn't have to get every available material to have a reasonable colour range. The spreadsheet calculated costs and required amounts. She didn't like all my glaze choices so we went through possible ones and settled on a slightly different set after a couple hours.

Near the end I asked straight out if my being part of the studio was a problem, that the program manager there had told me several times and was telling other people that as a "production potter" I wasn't welcome and they weren't there to support me. I said, look, I'll go elsewhere if you want, just tell me.

She spent awhile explaining the program manager's point of view, and said that I was "borderline" and that I "would know when it was time to leave, she wouldn't tell me". She said I was using more resources than other people (which would only be the kilns, since I do my wheelwork at home and haven't used any other equipment) and that despite having two full kilnloads per month as what was written into the rules as a cutoff above which you had to pay more, that my 2/3 of a kiln a month (spread over two kilns, a bisque and a glaze firing) was excessive. She added that she didn't know how much anything cost.

I also got the distinct impression that she didn't consider any mentoring I did to be valuable, and when I offered to spend more time volunteering around the studio to offset the resources I used she said that wasn't it.

So.

The community of folks there is great, they're fun to talk to, it's amazing to see their work, but I can't see sustaining a $30/month membership plus annual nonprofit membership plus kiln fees without comfortable access to kiln or equipment. So I guess I'll stay there and bisque my pieces in the meantime and stockpile them in crates until I can sort out my own kiln and pull back from the proactive stuff. If they're bisqued they're more likely to survive, and if I don't glaze fire them I'll be using less kiln resource.

I suspect this means they'll be firing their kilns not entirely full, but I guess that's not my problem anymore.

There's a couple in town that does pottery -- well, at the end of a long road anyhow -- and he mentioned that he sometimes fires his kiln half empty, I wonder if they'd be open to an arrangement? And he seems genuinely enthusiastic to talk to me, and she has too.

I want to call in sick and cry for a couple days but the next two days at work are helicopter stuff so I need to be really on my game, then Kelsey is here so I need to clean up etc. It'll be good to see and talk to her. I haven't really been talking to the folks who care about me lately.

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