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greenstormOkay. I need some recovery time. I'm not going to disengage with the whole pile of ridiculous going on, but I am going to put in some solid support for myself:
I've been reaching out to people who have a sense of humour about the thing; that's key.
I need to get above, like, 600 calories a day. That will help tremendously but I'm not entirely sure how to go about it. Food is just Not On lately. Maybe I should start by just tidying my fridge, creating space for something to inspire me.
I'm going for these morning walks. That helps a great deal and I'll keep doing it at least 2x per week; once my bike is going I can take that up to 3, then 4.
I'll get my bike going. I have a friend in town who has offered her husband's help and maybe hers to do a once-over. I'm a little embarassed that I don't have the ability to figure out what needs doing right now and then do it, but I do not and I don't want to wait till I'm eating and sleeping enough for proper brain function. I suspect the bike will drive better eating and sleeping. Failing the friend's help I'll pay someone in town, though that feels sketchy? Not sure why.
I need to finish this thing at work so I can take some time off and put seeds in the ground. I'm really torn between just turning off humans for some days while I do that vs keeping support people around but possibly being dragged into distractions. I'm lonely right now so it's particularly hard to pull away from talking to folks. Call this three days off work.
A day spent organizing the house and the shipping container will help tremendously. Call this one day off work.
Hanging a second blackout curtain downstairs so I can actually sleep would probably help.
Taking out a duck to thaw and eat will help. Ducklings hatched so I should have a good duck supply this winter. Duck and veggies will be easy for my body to tolerate, and there's so much nice fat. Fat is great because it's so calorie-dense.
By the end of the week I might be able to try asking for what I need and boundary-setting and seeing if I can get some time being held. There'll need to be a boundary around sex and likely around the amount of processing I can listen to, but it's worth a try.
If I organize my house I could set up the pottery wheel... though seriously, my list of productive hobbies is silly at this point. At least I can eat food, what happens when I've made a hundred plates?
Ok. So first up is probably: keep reaching out to folks, bike, organize house, duck out of the freezer.
I've been reaching out to people who have a sense of humour about the thing; that's key.
I need to get above, like, 600 calories a day. That will help tremendously but I'm not entirely sure how to go about it. Food is just Not On lately. Maybe I should start by just tidying my fridge, creating space for something to inspire me.
I'm going for these morning walks. That helps a great deal and I'll keep doing it at least 2x per week; once my bike is going I can take that up to 3, then 4.
I'll get my bike going. I have a friend in town who has offered her husband's help and maybe hers to do a once-over. I'm a little embarassed that I don't have the ability to figure out what needs doing right now and then do it, but I do not and I don't want to wait till I'm eating and sleeping enough for proper brain function. I suspect the bike will drive better eating and sleeping. Failing the friend's help I'll pay someone in town, though that feels sketchy? Not sure why.
I need to finish this thing at work so I can take some time off and put seeds in the ground. I'm really torn between just turning off humans for some days while I do that vs keeping support people around but possibly being dragged into distractions. I'm lonely right now so it's particularly hard to pull away from talking to folks. Call this three days off work.
A day spent organizing the house and the shipping container will help tremendously. Call this one day off work.
Hanging a second blackout curtain downstairs so I can actually sleep would probably help.
Taking out a duck to thaw and eat will help. Ducklings hatched so I should have a good duck supply this winter. Duck and veggies will be easy for my body to tolerate, and there's so much nice fat. Fat is great because it's so calorie-dense.
By the end of the week I might be able to try asking for what I need and boundary-setting and seeing if I can get some time being held. There'll need to be a boundary around sex and likely around the amount of processing I can listen to, but it's worth a try.
If I organize my house I could set up the pottery wheel... though seriously, my list of productive hobbies is silly at this point. At least I can eat food, what happens when I've made a hundred plates?
Ok. So first up is probably: keep reaching out to folks, bike, organize house, duck out of the freezer.
