The Livejournal Web
Jun. 18th, 2003 05:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
greenstormSo I found an old and important friend of mine on livejournal. We'd talked for awhile a while ago and sort of drifted apart into various busy-ness or maybe just different-ness.
(Run with mom interrupts. We're getting faster! 54 mins instead of last time's 63 and almost no walking breaks, comparatively. Weird that it happens so fast when I'm only going out one day a week. Other Woman! Schedule!)
So anyhow, I mosey over there and pop him onto my friends list. And I realise: livejournal doesn't make me feel more connected to anyone. I'm not writing for them, I'm not communicating to them effectively, they're reading my general internal narrative that I just happen to have in a public place and misinterpreting it more than they would if it were a real conversation. then they think they know me better, and feel connected. I haven't talked to them, and don't have the same sense of connection.
What -does- it do? It establishes a baseline level of knowledge, assuming I read theirs too, so that we don't have to drudge through the details of the day. It provides a launching platform to talk about the important stuff when we're together while dealing with the rest when we have time. This means that a ton of opportunities to talk about stuff are missed (I don't say to the Exotic, hey, this this this and this happened, so he doesn't have an opportunity to say that that that and that. Instead he reads this and maybe only remembers one thing to comment on because of the removal in time).
It's definitely a mass-media 'modern' sort of way to live my life. I -do- talk to people less when I do this because the urge to let someone know about it gets out. I have fewer conversations about daily trivia, certainly. Do you people think you know me better than you would otherwise?
Is there a substantial difference between a livejournal-initiated friendship and a normal one? Do you find that a friendship that gets on livejournal changes a bit?
(Run with mom interrupts. We're getting faster! 54 mins instead of last time's 63 and almost no walking breaks, comparatively. Weird that it happens so fast when I'm only going out one day a week. Other Woman! Schedule!)
So anyhow, I mosey over there and pop him onto my friends list. And I realise: livejournal doesn't make me feel more connected to anyone. I'm not writing for them, I'm not communicating to them effectively, they're reading my general internal narrative that I just happen to have in a public place and misinterpreting it more than they would if it were a real conversation. then they think they know me better, and feel connected. I haven't talked to them, and don't have the same sense of connection.
What -does- it do? It establishes a baseline level of knowledge, assuming I read theirs too, so that we don't have to drudge through the details of the day. It provides a launching platform to talk about the important stuff when we're together while dealing with the rest when we have time. This means that a ton of opportunities to talk about stuff are missed (I don't say to the Exotic, hey, this this this and this happened, so he doesn't have an opportunity to say that that that and that. Instead he reads this and maybe only remembers one thing to comment on because of the removal in time).
It's definitely a mass-media 'modern' sort of way to live my life. I -do- talk to people less when I do this because the urge to let someone know about it gets out. I have fewer conversations about daily trivia, certainly. Do you people think you know me better than you would otherwise?
Is there a substantial difference between a livejournal-initiated friendship and a normal one? Do you find that a friendship that gets on livejournal changes a bit?
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no subject
Date: 2003-06-18 07:07 pm (UTC)And for the second, I think it really allows you to see a person in multiple aspects and in multiple angles, and how they think of themselves, which is fascinating in and of itself. I suppose it becomes deeper in an intellectual sort of way, and sometimes not as deep in a real flesh and blood contact kind of way. At least, that's what I've gotten from my experiences here.
no subject
Date: 2003-06-18 10:23 pm (UTC)Heck no. As a rule, LJ posts are sufficiently isolated and disjointed -- even from prolific chroniclers like yourself -- that I can't even kid myself into believing that they provide more than a glimpse into what bits the author chooses to reveal.
In fact, because I'm so very prone to misinterpreting things that you write, reading your LJ makes me feel *dis*connected and reminds me that I really *don't* know you all that well yet!
no subject
Date: 2003-06-18 10:31 pm (UTC)Do you think I'm knowable?
no subject
Date: 2003-06-18 10:33 pm (UTC)I, for one, believe myself to be extremely knowable -- an open book, in fact, there for the reading.
I have trouble believing that anybody is not knowable, unless they deliberately obfuscate themselves :-)
no subject
Date: 2003-06-18 11:43 pm (UTC)As for myself, the internal me-feeling? As for the emotional core, the feeling-responses to things, the random thoughts that stray through my head from time to time, my own particular internal mental slant? Even my sense of humour?
No, I've pretty much zero hope of anyone ever knowing that stuff, let alone understanding it. I don't believe anything in particular surrounding that, since I don't know enough to believe anything, but the hope isn't there.
I guess it depends on which levels we're looking for knowledge?