Taken Aback?

I'm tempted to say that last night gave me some stuff to think about, but the truth is, it was less surprising than simply a sucky confirmation of stuff I don't want to think about. Suffice to say I'm home, and I'm going to the VanDusen garden volunteer orientation in about three minutes. It's raining, we'll be outside, I'm going to enjoy it. Not pretend-enjoy, but really enjoy it. And if that means there's nothing left when I get back, so be it.

I'm taking care of myself now where I have to, and that's what counts? I could have handled it better, yes, but I'm pretty sure the result would have been the same.

I can't drive the discussions and the solutions every time. I can't choose how to deal with problems for someone else. If their choice is distance rather than fixing the thing, that's something I can talk about a little, but I can't change. If it's distance first and then talk about it when things have calmed down, well... I still can't do anything, and I'll know about that soon enough.

Have a scheduled watch of LoTR I coming up tonight, and a big pot of soup to make. This (the former) is in preperation for the LoTR extended whatchamacallit DVD that's coming out soon that TOW is going to get and watch immediately.

The soup is just cause I like soup.

Be well. I need to run.

Resolution and Future

Okay, I think stuff from last night's resolved. It always comes down to communication, doesn't it? Just, 'tell me when...?' and 'ask about...'

On a more interesting(!?) note, I had the volunteer orientation at VanDusen today. Wow, wow, wow. That garden is beautiful. I love it already, and when I say that I'm not just blathering on. Love, as in, the deep attachment between entities... :)

So it's looking like I won't be getting my hands in the dirst much for the volunteer work, but I will probably end up showing it off, taking tours of people around and telling them about various bits.

The group that was there with me was composed of something like twenty women and one man, many about my age with a few who were older. Some of them were botany students, a couple weren't really gardeners, a lot of them were looking for a place to meet people who liked gardening and just talk to them. Cool, no?

I need to put beautyberry in TOW's garden.

The maples were incredible out there, many of the japanese ones still holding their leaves and just incandescent. When I was out walking with estrellada the other day I found some cherry leaves -- cherries always go that bright, bright orange. But these maples...

Oh, man. I can't tell you what that place is like. It's wonderful, that's all.

Now to TOH for LoTR I, and some reconciliation with the Juggler. Be well.