Alright.

Early-to-bed, early-to-rise Saturday morning worked for me. I got my peas in the ground (some people's are coming up already) and my rats all in the same cage and settled, the kitchen cleaned up a bunch, food eaten, my computer up and working (yay) and a bunch of my room cleaned up and long-term functional. Some shelves are up, though I need more.

There's a ton of debris (stones, oyster shells, etc) in the far-back garden that I need to remove.

I did -not- get my final shelf constructed (Wed. cancellation was in part because I wasn't supposed to be at the Juggler's house last-minute, and that was true today too as I discovered twenty minutes before the date, le sigh) nor did I get the rest of my tomatoes planted (grr) but it's good to have some shelving up, and we got in a good dinner and watched Commando, which amused me to no end. Well, the amusement did have an end, but it lasted as long as the (short) movie did.

I got to hang out with Chris yesterday, which was fantastic - french toast and lying around a bunch, that's just what I needed for downtime.

I'm still a little emotionally shaky, and I think some of that has to do with the weird stuff going on with the Juggler, and some with me beginning to place my relationship with Chris in a larger context. It's interesting, I seem to trend in all situations towards two primary partners - go figure. :P

Escapism is a strong lure lately. I'm giving that its head a little bit, and also trying to make sure I have connections with other people as well.

Earlier I Said...

..."when I sleep with my rats, I don't need humans in bed."

Problematically, though, when I sleep with humans I can't then sleep with my rats.

Eeeeverything's exclusionist. There is no tribal poly, even cross-species. ;P

(tongue in cheek, hons)

Now That I Have Shelving...

...I'm gonna fill up my betta tanks.

http://www.bc-ba.com/FAQ.html

Anyone interested? It's a harrowing ride on transit, though, I'll warn you right now.

Realisation

Enough escapism and a wonderful home during the windstorm got me, finally, into perspective.

o I've got a fantastic relationship with Juggler, we've done some awesome things in the last while together like go juggling and get my shelves up and watch cheesy movies and have great sex. We feel good together, I can be honest with him, and therefore honest with myself where he's concerned. The relationship is absolutely better to have than not.

o Chris and I are independent beings who don't need a relationship. We have our own houses, our own friends, etc. We haven't seen each other much lately. Despite that we still love each other and want to see each other, and he's willing to come to my place sometimes and I to his so we both get to spend time at home, and also we can spend time apart without it trashing the relationship.

o My rats don't need explaining, but: they're all together, getting along well, and cute.

o My roommates rock. They made a communal dinner last night and we sat around and chatted, but there's no forced socialisation.

o My room is so so so awesome. Computering from the bed, room for plants and my bed is like a marshmallow and I have a stuff-table. It's also warm, has a south-facing window that looks out over someone's roof so no one looks inside my room and I have a view, and vacuums up easily after the rats.

o My job's flexible and gives me accomplishment stuff.

o My friends are cool, even when I drop off the face of the earth for awhile and they're busy, and that means a lot.


As for complaints? Jeeze, I've been way too spoilt. Look at the stuff I was complaining about. "Aww, you gave me a new car that has a scratch on it?" I mean, removing the source of the complaints would remove all the wonderful stuff from my life.

So there's perspective.