Still Playing...

...that counting crows song.

And ain't it just like rain, cause love is all of heaven. Inside you the time moves and she don't fade, the ghost in you, she don't fade...

I went out for dinner with Mom and brother and brother's girlfriend. Mom will pay for a permaculture course this summer if I can find a full one (!!!!!!!!). I met Juggler for lunchtime circular saw shopping.

I'm in the mood for you, or for running away. All the stars come down in you, and love, love, love, I can't give that away...

I saw Kynnin through the car window. My rats, as always, love me. I love them.

My tomatoes, in the ground now, look happy.

The folk fest (my folk fest) is coming. I'm happy about that, although like lastyear it will be character-building. There *is* something a little difficult about your yearly spiritual event being attended by two of your exes, who are currently coupled and very physically affectionate with each other. Well, let me be less general, cause that's not always a problem. It will hurt to attend the thing I always used to attend with Kynnin, while watching him there with Mouse and not with me. There will be more good in the folk fest than bad in the proximity, though. I already have my folk fest skirt for this year. I need to dance very, very badly right now.

But, no sense worrying too much about the future. I like attending the folk fest with people close to me, because I am more spiritually charged, more real and present, than I am at any other time. Kynnin never seemed to appreciate that; perhaps someday someone will.

Hey, are any of you cuddly, interested in camping, and wanna go to the folk fest? Mission one, google it.

Jeeze.

Sometimes you see little glimpses of your no-longer-possible futures, the roads not taken (jeh, what a poem to quote). And yannow? Some of them, even the ones I thought bad at the time, are a big relief not to be in now.

You know where I'm going? I'm going to my garden, in the end. My direction is not down, my path does not end in slow stultification, my goal is predetermined and it's a lively wonderful thing that's worthwhile. It's achievable, too, in a lifetime. No one's gonna strangle me on the way. No one's worth going down with, if it means I don't get to my end.