Nov. 26th, 2005

Megapost

Nov. 26th, 2005 06:12 am
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We knew it was coming. I've been busy though. Don't take these facts and figures too seriously, but as of last night I'd spent

-28 hours falling in love
-5 hours a night for the last two nights sleeping
-10 1/2 hours consecutively workingm
-Some time eating turkey with cool people and babies

Luckily I entered a state of altered reality where it couldn't hurt me.

Now, I will use subheadings.

Omens

I would have told you that I'm not superstitious, that is, until we were walking hand in hand across a park, coming out of the rain into the sun, and right above us was the clearest double rainbow I've ever seen. Thank you.

I've posted elsewhere about my last two fortune cookies. They are right.

Pros

He's smart. He's funny. He has an unwholesomely clever tongue. He is keenly aware of the ridiculousness that is human beings. He's 'creative' but not illogical. His word use is exquisite and premeditated. He's eminently sensible, whimsical, and often silly. He's ticklish. He's good in bed. He has the proper amount of freckles and body hair, and a nice belly button. He's enormously, to coin a term, self-integral-- independent, true to himself by his actions. He walks places. He likes food. He sketches randomly, and creates worlds out of words. He has a dvorak keyboard. His playlist contains all of: Tuvan throat singers, Kermit the frog singing The Rainbow Connection, Ennio Morricone's The Mission Soundtrack. You should see his hands. He wears a pink negligee well, and paints his face sometimes. He is not clingy nor obsessive nor emotionally closed. He enforces his own boundaries effortlessly. He is a joy. His lj name is teh sex.

Prose

I used to think, when I was happy, that the word would crack open and I would die. Now I just contemplate the chemical soup that is my brain.

It feels good to be stepping into this and to have a lot to offer. I've worked out most of the relationship kinks that I've discovered. I can stand on my own two feet, and there's enough of me that me plus another person no longer fits into one life. I have size, shape, and definition. My clinginess has subsided into reasonably normal wanting-people-around-sometimes-but-never-dying-from-it. when I walk, I hold my shoulders up and swing my hips in a sort of swagger and I have for awhile now. I'm proud of myself. I love my life.

I was walking with him (he walks every day. Not when it's nice out, or when he feels like it, or he tries to walk every day-- he just does) and as always happens when moving through a world with plants, I became a teacher. I pointed to a random patch of scrub gravel-- it had some dandelion, some sorrel, some chicory, clover, parsley seeded in from somewhere, and one of those little wild tansy ragworts. I pointed and said, 'everything in there save one thing has edible parts'. It was just a forgotten patch of gravel. Then we passed by a reasonably large, well-maintained chunk of landscaped ground, mostly done in junipers. I pointed at that and said, 'nothing in there is edible. Hmm.'

There's something a little overwhelming about making this post. Juggler has only recently-- with that kayak post, in fact --said that he feels comfortable with me talking about who he is a bit on my lj. There's been a ghost hand across my mouth for so long on that. Now I have two I can talk about. What's one to do?

I think I'm to say, 'I was sitting there looking at my legs the other day, and realised I love my body. I almost always do, but there's some sort of significance to that knowledge that I always forget. My body is me, and its beauty is a direct comment on God's love for me.'

I can do that without arguing definitions of God, I think.

Poetry

I posted previously:
ExpandRead more... )

Do you know what? Yesterday I listened to 'How's It Gonna Be' by Third Eye Blind, and thought about Kynnin as something in the distant past. Is renewal and replacement part of healing?

Profanity

Fucking aphrodite.

Ends with a smile.

It wasn't meant to be a coherent post, just release.

Lightener

Nov. 26th, 2005 07:21 am
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A meme!

ExpandRead more... )

Huh. Is that the sun coming up? I should scoot back to bed.

Whee!

Nov. 26th, 2005 11:40 am
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HMV has one copy of Citizens Awake by Happy Day. Going to buy it now. Belay that search, Kynnin.

Got It!

Nov. 26th, 2005 12:45 pm
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It's mine! Need to let a bunch of people have a listen.

Now, buy booze, room cleaning, possibly laundry. Party tonight.

I have Monday off. I hope this weather holds. It is the best thing ever. Downtown is a lovely chaos. Graham, up for a walk then? Blah blah call me etc.

Mrph.

Finally.

Nov. 26th, 2005 02:59 pm
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Playing new CD. Got booze. Happy. Putting the CD in the player felt like touching someone for the first time (though I listened to it for months straight before).

Forthcoming on yousendit.

Oh, so happy. I want to dance. My words fail me again.

Aha!

Nov. 26th, 2005 03:13 pm
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A year and two days ago, I posted this.

He Attempts to Love His Neighbours
Alden Nowlan

My neighbours do not wish to be loved.
They have made it clear that they prefer to go peacefully
about their business and want me to do the same.
This ought not to surprise me as it does;
I ought to know by now that most people have a hundred things
they would rather do than have me love them.


There is a television, for instance; the truth
is that almost everybody,
given the choice between being loved and watching TV,
would choose the latter. Love interrupts dinner,
interferes with mowing the lawn, washing the car,
or walking the dog. Love is a telephone ringing or a doorbell
waking you moments after you've finally
succeeded in getting to sleep.


So we must be careful, those of us who were born with
the wrong number of fingers or the gift
of loving; we must do our best to behave
like normal members of society and not make nuisances
of ourselves; otherwise it could go hard with us.
It is better to bite back your tears,
swallow your laughter,
and learn to fake the mildly self-deprecating titter
favored by the bourgeoisie
than to be left entirely alone, as you will be,
if your disconformity embarrasses
your neighbours; I wish I didn't keep forgetting.

~ from "Selected Poems" (House of Anansi Press)

I Want

Nov. 26th, 2005 04:53 pm
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To share this music with someone who will find it as much a joy as I do.

I slept last night. I slept a long, long time, waking up beneath doubled blankets with warm flesh beside me. I woke and posted on livejournal. I made breakfast and did dishes. I went back to bed and luxuriated and slept and woke and drowsed and got up and showered.

I came back with the CD and put it on and started laundry and went back to bed.

The house is warm.

Before I was high on joy, buzzing, vibrating, through the roof. Now it's settled into a luxurious warm purr in my belly and a prickle across my skin. I can feel this music there, on my skin. I said this before, once, and it's true again now too: I feel like warm poured cream. I want to sit here and type out the lyrics as they come up for you, but really the songs must be heard.

I wish I could describe this happiness better, this dizzying juxtaposition of joys that is my life. Oh, well.

Tillie and I will be making some T-shirts.

I'm gonna make one or four for me that says: LECH. I'll make one for Crazychris too, we'll see if he'll wear it. :>

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