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One Foot In Front...
Sep. 5th, 2006 07:46 amHouse is getting done. I went through every non- clothing thing I owned, threw a bit out, packed the rest into a trunk. I own half a small trunk full of memories, papers, weird shit, pictures, etc. The restg is clothing and functional and books. Not too bad.
Next step is going through the clothes, which will be harder, and culling. Beth, I may need your help.
The kitchen is in shape, the livingroom is almost where it needs to be, the main bedroom is dealt with, the guest room is good, the bathroom is good. Floors need to be cleaned. I am so happy.
I am also sick. Bob started coughing yesterday morning, or was it the night before? I'm not coughing, but my throat feels like swollen razor blades. Well, not that bad, and not bad enough to miss work, but pretty icky. I'm coming right home and getting back into bed with some lemon and honey when I'm done today. Luckily it's a short day.
There are some things I've been avoiding saying because I didn't want to step on anyone's mental toes. I'm going to say them briefly, now, because it feels pretty important to me to say. I also don't wanna come back to this lj in ten or twenty years and not remember this time clearly; after looking back through my paper journals (summer of '96, summer of '04 and '05) I remember that it's good to have records.
I love Bob like crazy. I also love domestic relationships; love to say, can you make the rice while I put on the chard, love sitting at the end of a day under a blanket fevering at a movie; love just someone being there every day at some point or another. I love tyhe way this is going; I feel respected, but not pedestalled. I feel like an equal partner, doing a little more here and a little less there. I dunno, there's more I want to say, but the words are escaping me.
I've never really entered into a consensual long-term living together relationship before; with Kynnin it was always gonna be temporary, or we were waiting to figure things out until I got a job, so it was precarious as all times. I never really lived at Juggler and Mouse's, just in a drawer there. At Tillie's I had a room, but never really was there long enough to leave fingerprints on the rest of the house, though it felt like it could be that sort of thing and that's why I liked it so much. For the rest-- yeah, rented rooms and other people's houses. This one is ours. He doesn't even say 'my house' anymore-- he says 'ours'.
I keep having the urge to call mom and say, 'mom, guess what I'm doing, and it's so fantastic'! This is impulsive of me, though, and so I've been downplaying how much I'm enjoying this to everyone so they won't worry. I want to hear someone say, 'yeah, I remember when me and whoever...' and to hear stories though.
Love to you guys. I head to work now.
Next step is going through the clothes, which will be harder, and culling. Beth, I may need your help.
The kitchen is in shape, the livingroom is almost where it needs to be, the main bedroom is dealt with, the guest room is good, the bathroom is good. Floors need to be cleaned. I am so happy.
I am also sick. Bob started coughing yesterday morning, or was it the night before? I'm not coughing, but my throat feels like swollen razor blades. Well, not that bad, and not bad enough to miss work, but pretty icky. I'm coming right home and getting back into bed with some lemon and honey when I'm done today. Luckily it's a short day.
There are some things I've been avoiding saying because I didn't want to step on anyone's mental toes. I'm going to say them briefly, now, because it feels pretty important to me to say. I also don't wanna come back to this lj in ten or twenty years and not remember this time clearly; after looking back through my paper journals (summer of '96, summer of '04 and '05) I remember that it's good to have records.
I love Bob like crazy. I also love domestic relationships; love to say, can you make the rice while I put on the chard, love sitting at the end of a day under a blanket fevering at a movie; love just someone being there every day at some point or another. I love tyhe way this is going; I feel respected, but not pedestalled. I feel like an equal partner, doing a little more here and a little less there. I dunno, there's more I want to say, but the words are escaping me.
I've never really entered into a consensual long-term living together relationship before; with Kynnin it was always gonna be temporary, or we were waiting to figure things out until I got a job, so it was precarious as all times. I never really lived at Juggler and Mouse's, just in a drawer there. At Tillie's I had a room, but never really was there long enough to leave fingerprints on the rest of the house, though it felt like it could be that sort of thing and that's why I liked it so much. For the rest-- yeah, rented rooms and other people's houses. This one is ours. He doesn't even say 'my house' anymore-- he says 'ours'.
I keep having the urge to call mom and say, 'mom, guess what I'm doing, and it's so fantastic'! This is impulsive of me, though, and so I've been downplaying how much I'm enjoying this to everyone so they won't worry. I want to hear someone say, 'yeah, I remember when me and whoever...' and to hear stories though.
Love to you guys. I head to work now.
