Greatpoets Strikes Again

I *really love* this one. It reads like the inside of my mind.

Psychoanalysis: An Elegy
What are you thinking about?

I am thinking of an early summer.
I am thinking of wet hills in the rain
Pouring water. Shedding it
Down empty acres of oak and manzanita
Down to the old green brush tangled in the sun,
Greasewood, sage, and spring mustard.
Or the hot wind coming down from Santa Ana
Driving the hills crazy,
A fast wind with a bit of dust in it
Bruising everything and making the seed sweet.
Or down in the city where the peach trees
Are awkward as young horses,
And there are kites caught on the wires
Up above the street lamps,
And the storm drains are all choked with dead branches.

What are you thinking?

I think that I would like to write a poem that is slow as a summer
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What are you thinking?

I am thinking of how many times this poem
Will be repeated. How many summers
Will torture California
Until the damned maps burn
Until the mad cartographer
Falls to the ground and possesses
The sweet thick earth from which he has been hiding.

What are you thinking now?

I am thinking that a poem could go on forever.

– Jack Spicer

Real Person On The Line

Okay, enough with poems and links for now. I'll make an actual, real appearance.

-waves-

Baby Gabriel, in the boys' cage, is busily trying to beat up Sky, who's 846984657846 times his size and is totally ignoring him. It's cute. The page is roughed out, but not done. It does have pretty pictures though!

Ratty distractions aside, I've been pretty busy lately. I'm househunting semi-seriously, I'm trying to make up for vacation time at work, and there's a bunch of stuff coming up, like a rattery open house and a rat show, that needs prepwork. Together with my newly-rediscovered love of sleep, this fills up a lot of my time, and sex takes up whatever's left after that. There's startlingly little of the latter.

I'm on an even keel again (quick, who out there knows what a keel is? This is another example of silly metaphor, even though many of you do sail) and have been for a day or two. It's good. Stuff with Bob is sorted (I'm getting my own place, we're keeping the relationship), stuff with Juggler's settled down a bit, I've spent a bit of time with friends and avoiding heavy social crowd-things, it's good. I've been eating decently. I have groceries.

I still miss Greensinger a bit. Did I mention how good it was to see someone with relatively similar philosophical positions, but from a different cultural background? There are so many things I want to show him, to show off, I suppose. My friends and I, we made this loosely communal urban culture of KMM and Family Dinners and shared meals and swapped keys to houses and Free Hug Day and all these things that are very important, they make a community out of the city and work towards a sustainable cultural model. I want someone to see it and appreciate it, but of course here's the month or two where I'm retreating from it a bit and leaning on it a bit and not actively involved as much. Oh well.

Permaculturalists are marvellous things.

Did I mention that Angus pulled out a permaculture book one time and showed it to me and said, 'my Grandpa gave this to me, I thought you should see it'? Can't write that kid off as only a pretty face, I tell ya.

Thursday at work I hauled stone, shovelled sand, and pickaxed tree roots and gravel loose for variety. That's what really snapped me out of my thing. Can't feel bad after a day like this. Then there was rat-cage-cleaning, it was a very full day indeed, and bed was ever-so-welcome. The new babies at Lizzy's are adorable, all thirty-three of them. Erin, one of the mamas, is daughter of my Lightning. Lightning, by the way, isn't doing so well, and I'm worried for her. Cross your fingers. How did I end up talking about rats again?

I'm more-or-less decided to take some parkour classes. It seems like a nicer thing than climbing because it's all /right there/ to practice on- the city, I mean. I wish the classes weren't in West Van, but them's the breaks. I'd like to learn to use my body more spontaneously. When I climb, I'm a very slow and thoughtful climber. I don't fall often, and I think things through first. I want to develop my physical intuition, and that will require experience with my body at high speeds. So. It's also pretty inexpensive.

I'm finally listening to music other than Devendra Banhart for a change. Some Doors are getting play today.

I think a lot of the recent weirdness was a commitment-fit on my part. That seems to happen after a breakup, and also in a relationship when it hits the omg-this-may-actually-stick-around-awhile point. I sort of freak out and try to prove that nothing will stay around me by pushing everyone away. So yeah, enough of that, self.

It's time to reinvoke thankyou lists on here. I've been too whiny for myself to stomach lately, whether or not my dear readers like the angst.

The sunlight is the most wonderful part of today. It heats my skin like a physical touch, through clothing and on bare skin, and it gives my flesh that lovely dusty scent that sunshine does.
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I love thinking about the place I'm going to live. It gives me such joy to picture a place where the only things inside the walls are mine. I can have a room empty of all furniture except pillows if I want it. I can pile friends three deep on the floor to sleep after parties if I want, or kick everyone out. I can give a key to a friend and say, 'come over anytime you want'. I may even be able to drum without fear of waking anyone, depending on where I end up. I can have sex on the kitchen counter. I can nap on the livingroom floor. I can put my drum somewhere close to hand and it will be safe until I want it.

I'm done bleeding for now.

So there.