(no subject)

"Life is Fine" by Langston Hughes

I went down to the river,
I set down on the bank.
I tried to think but couldn't,
So I jumped in and sank.

I came up once and hollered!
I came up twice and cried!
If that water hadn't a-been so cold
I might've sunk and died.

But it was Cold in that water! It was cold!

I took the elevator
Sixteen floors above the ground.
I thought about my baby
And thought I would jump down.

I stood there and I hollered!
I stood there and I cried!
If it hadn't a-been so high
I might've jumped and died.

But it was High up there! It was high!

So since I'm still here livin',
I guess I will live on.
I could've died for love--
But for livin' I was born

Though you may hear me holler,
And you may see me cry--
I'll be dogged, sweet baby,
If you gonna see me die.

Life is fine! Fine as wine! Life is fine!

Things you say when you're alone.

My new phone has a voice record function. I turned it on thismorning and wandered around for about ten minutes talking to... you? Myself? Something. I've often thought about upgrading my lj account so that I can make phone posts on here. Talking to myself in the world is different than talking to myself afterwards when I'm sitting at the computer and the day's either over or just beginning.

I do sound like a super spacey hippie, though I hope that with practice I can organise my thoughts more quickly and easily before they hit my tongue.

Every day on my calendar from now till March 3rd is booked and I'm hoping to start work that day-- I just need to create the time for interviews. Of those days, two are pleasure: one kayaking, and one Seedy Saturday. Everything else is work, work, work. Some of it will be fun and sweaty though.

Tomorrow is more outdoors work and I need to make lunch. It's novel, I've been provided food at work for so long now I've forgotten how to cook-- and how, too, to eat in order to have energy. That means vegan until after work for me-- and what were all my vegan recipes? Do I even have any that I like? That I can eat cold? What should I eat my lovely parsley hummus with? Why isn't it tomato season yet? Why didn't I make pickles to eat with rice for lunches? What can I eat for dinner, everything's frozen and I'm tired and need to clean rat cages. (My brain gets caught on the subject of food lately).

Okay. One interview down, two lined up, more resumes sent off. That was a productive phone interview. For my next trick, I will cook dinner while cleaning rat cages. That sounds unsanitary, but it must happen if I'm to wake up tomorrow.

Enough escapism. Love y'all.

Chemical Soup

http://www.todaysbigthing.com/2008/02/01 is pretty cool.

Mmmmkay. Good stuff is happening in the world of work. I'm excited and sort of nervous too. Lots to figure out, lots to do. If I'm taking the time to choose the best company to work for, then I'd really better choose the best, right? Funny how the perfectionism crops up in everything -- afraid to try, because trying means I have to be the best, wheras if I don't try, it's not a problem if I fail What a mess the inside of my head is sometimes.

On the other hand, rat cages are clean, bedding is clean (I have a clean bedding thing. I prefer to wash my sheets/pillowcases every two days and all my blankets and stuff every two weeks or so-- though I can live in a dirty sleeping bag if I have to). Floor swept, though not washed. Dinner eaten. Lunch planned, sorta. Boy on his way over to share the paradise that is my bedroom (even though it's totally messy right now and there are clothes haemorrhaging out of the dresser, it is a paradise. The sun rises into my window, and it rises while I'm still in bed now. The sky was navy till six thirty, the sun not quite forgotten over the horizon).

I could use a good backrub, with a back popping at the end.

Most importantly, I might have some time off from the 4th-6th, I have one solid job offer, and I only have three more shifts of retail to work. I'm still seriously considering trying to get out of them, but my damned oversized sense of responsibility doesn't want to leave people in the lurch. Though c'mon, they've been running this business for twenty-two years and they haven't treated me very well, I'm sure they'd cope. But, but...

I'm so tired. Finally get my after-work shower now. Funny what seems important sometimes and what doesn't.