Bits and Pieces

My house is full of gamer boys tonight. It's finally to the point where it's functional enough -- and easy enough to keep tidy -- that people can drop by whenever they like and I don't feel awful. So, Angus has some friends over and I don't feel like I need to vanish. I could sew. I should do homework.

I have grow lights up in my house. That's been a goal of mine forever. I should get tomato seeds and start them soon-- fuck having a desk to study at, it's been a couple years since I started tomatoes and I miss it like dying.

Tonight I met a boy from okcupid. Haven't done that for a year and a half. He's nice enough, it'll take a little more time to know if he has potential, but at least being super picky who I meet seems to be paying off. Awkward it may be, but it's not a waste of time.

Funny story-- I'm sitting there chatting with him and there's Michael sitting there tutoring at the other end of the coffee shop when I look up. I managed to resist the urge to either text or make faces.

What else? I've been sewing a lot, starting projects and then stalling out and starting and then stalling out again. Sometimes I stop because I'm missing materials, sometimes because my inspiration is failing or I'm getting frustrated. It's fun, though, designed to be a stress and creativity outlet instead of some sort of efficient cheaper way of clothing myself. It succeeds at that.

I have more funny stories, little things that are neat. I have some awesome things to look forward to in regards to school and this summer. I am enjoying school immensely. I seem to be falling into a lovely and comfortable routine that works for the other people in my life; it seems I see a lot of people once a week, which isn't normally ideal but I seem to be settling in to it. I have a tattoo and a rescarification of my shoulder planned (!). My bosses still like me a lot, and sometimes school knowledge is coming in handy at work. I keep feeling like they're going to suddenly decide they can't stand me, but maybe that won't happen. I've been eating. I've been better with money lately. It helps when I spend time with people who are also broke.

I think I've come to terms with a lot of the outstanding issues in my life. I'm dealing well enough with friends rolling into and out of my life, and also focusing more energy on people who are willing to be there reliably when I need that sort of thing. I'm feeling less needy, and less like I need someone else to support me. I'm doing things I love. I mostly feel like I have power to, if not create my life, at least to steer it.

These are all good things.

This was an entry more to write something than because I felt the pressure of words within me, but it serves the purpose. There we go.