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High-School Angstless
May. 28th, 2011 01:06 pmMy friends are heavily immersed in what you might call geek culture; they're basically all on the same wavelength with regards to, if not what's included within the culture, then what's excluded from it. Part of their culture is a narrative: different/outcast/lonely in high school, now way cooler than most of their classmates in a very particular way and still outcast/misunderstood by mainstream society. They're nearly all night-owls with a shared cultural hate-on for mornings, have little knowledge of the natural world and less respect for that knowledge, and we can include their own bodies in the concept clump of 'natural world'.
I am aware of the culture, but it's not me. I probably fit in less well with these friends than I ever did in high school, but in both cases I spend a lot of time doing my own thing and liking my own things and there's just not a lot of overlap or understanding from the people with whom I surround myself. Don't get me wrong, I worried about whether people liked me in high school sometimes, but it turns out they all did, and everyone was nice to me most of the time; I also believe strongly that, if I'm misunderstood, it's only the same way that we're all misunderstood because of the contradictory nature of humans and our tendency not to take time to try and understand each other.
That's not to say I don't have many similarities with these people, that I don't love them, or that there aren't reasons I run with this crowd. It's just brought home to me in some of the culture-building experiences I see that, really, my home is in myself and not in this society.
School helps with the sense of being different somewhat; these are all people who will stop on a walk outside to look at something interesting that's growing or living there because they can find that sort of thing interesting. Spending time at varied events with a spiritual/reverent/outdoors/inclusivist feel (Spring Mysteries, plant and permaculture event, folk music festivals) helps a lot; skipping the whole concept of "social group" and just hanging out with people with whom I have things in common is good. There doesn't seem to be any group anywhere which links up my major interests or prejudices in a cohesive fashion.
I think I feel it more nowadays because I'm much more certain of who I am. My personality is something reliable and I don't question it much, even when it's fluid, so I see where it contrasts with the cultures in which I find myself.
This post brought to you by two posts by friends, one on how people who were misfits in high school do better in life and another on how people who stay up late are smarter than people who go to bed early, by someone who most of the time feels both successful and smart enough... and who believes in the enoughness of such things.
I am aware of the culture, but it's not me. I probably fit in less well with these friends than I ever did in high school, but in both cases I spend a lot of time doing my own thing and liking my own things and there's just not a lot of overlap or understanding from the people with whom I surround myself. Don't get me wrong, I worried about whether people liked me in high school sometimes, but it turns out they all did, and everyone was nice to me most of the time; I also believe strongly that, if I'm misunderstood, it's only the same way that we're all misunderstood because of the contradictory nature of humans and our tendency not to take time to try and understand each other.
That's not to say I don't have many similarities with these people, that I don't love them, or that there aren't reasons I run with this crowd. It's just brought home to me in some of the culture-building experiences I see that, really, my home is in myself and not in this society.
School helps with the sense of being different somewhat; these are all people who will stop on a walk outside to look at something interesting that's growing or living there because they can find that sort of thing interesting. Spending time at varied events with a spiritual/reverent/outdoors/inclusivist feel (Spring Mysteries, plant and permaculture event, folk music festivals) helps a lot; skipping the whole concept of "social group" and just hanging out with people with whom I have things in common is good. There doesn't seem to be any group anywhere which links up my major interests or prejudices in a cohesive fashion.
I think I feel it more nowadays because I'm much more certain of who I am. My personality is something reliable and I don't question it much, even when it's fluid, so I see where it contrasts with the cultures in which I find myself.
This post brought to you by two posts by friends, one on how people who were misfits in high school do better in life and another on how people who stay up late are smarter than people who go to bed early, by someone who most of the time feels both successful and smart enough... and who believes in the enoughness of such things.
