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I was grappling with something this week, and the internet dropped this in my lap:
"In times of crisis, we want our family, partner, or dearest friends to be everything for us. But surviving trauma requires at least two types of people: the crisis team — those friends who can drop everything and jump into the fray by your side, and the reconstruction crew — those whose calm, steady care will help nudge you out the door into regaining your footing in the world. In my experience, it is extremely rare for any individual to be both a firefighter and a builder. This is one reason why trauma is a lonely experience. Even if you share suffering with others, no one else will be able to fully walk the road with you the whole way.
A hard lesson of trauma is learning to forgive and love your partner, best friend, or family even when they fail at one of these roles. Conversely, one of the deepest joys is finding both kinds of companions beside you on the journey."
http://sojo.net/blogs/2014/01/13/new-normal-ten-things-ive-learned-about-trauma
That's totally the issue I was grappling with. I know so many firefighters that I couldn't conceptualize that building as love or support, quite, when it's all that was on offer. But, it totally is.
And I know lots of firefighters, so next time I'm burning I'll just call one of them instead of trying to beat a builder into one.
Haha.
"In times of crisis, we want our family, partner, or dearest friends to be everything for us. But surviving trauma requires at least two types of people: the crisis team — those friends who can drop everything and jump into the fray by your side, and the reconstruction crew — those whose calm, steady care will help nudge you out the door into regaining your footing in the world. In my experience, it is extremely rare for any individual to be both a firefighter and a builder. This is one reason why trauma is a lonely experience. Even if you share suffering with others, no one else will be able to fully walk the road with you the whole way.
A hard lesson of trauma is learning to forgive and love your partner, best friend, or family even when they fail at one of these roles. Conversely, one of the deepest joys is finding both kinds of companions beside you on the journey."
http://sojo.net/blogs/2014/01/13/new-normal-ten-things-ive-learned-about-trauma
That's totally the issue I was grappling with. I know so many firefighters that I couldn't conceptualize that building as love or support, quite, when it's all that was on offer. But, it totally is.
And I know lots of firefighters, so next time I'm burning I'll just call one of them instead of trying to beat a builder into one.
Haha.
