First fire

Cleaned the chimney, started the woodstove last night. Ooof.

The house feels so much nicer though. And there's something about wood heat, it makes the house feel quieter. Stepping out from the warm house into the woodsmoke-smelling cool air outside, though: it's definitely fall.

First fire

Cleaned the chimney, started the woodstove last night. Ooof.

The house feels so much nicer though. And there's something about wood heat, it makes the house feel quieter. Stepping out from the warm house into the woodsmoke-smelling cool air outside, though: it's definitely fall.

Falling

This morning I woke up, turned on the heat under the tomatoes to boil them down, refreshed the chips in the smoker under the bacon, sliced turnips and beets into pickles and set them in the crock, and then went to work.

I came back to the laptop to start work, then thought: "I'm hungry. What do humans eat?"

Not a bowl of tomato sauce topped with salty raw turnips. I guess I need to figure some actual food out.

Falling

This morning I woke up, turned on the heat under the tomatoes to boil them down, refreshed the chips in the smoker under the bacon, sliced turnips and beets into pickles and set them in the crock, and then went to work.

I came back to the laptop to start work, then thought: "I'm hungry. What do humans eat?"

Not a bowl of tomato sauce topped with salty raw turnips. I guess I need to figure some actual food out.

I don't know how to say this

But I've had so many worse years than 2020.

The years I was in university were worse, especially when I was also trying to recover from my big car accident and didn't realize I had a concussion.

The year I got pregnant over Christmas while working a bunch of different cobbled-together jobs and went to the hospital with a high fever and abdominal pain, then got chewed out by the doctor in the hospital for not being on hormonal birth control ("it makes me suicidal" "that doesn't matter, without it you'll die of breast cancer") and moving twice and maybe there was a breakup in there? was worse.

The year I got kicked out of living with mom and couldn't support myself and moved to a very suburby place and still couldn't support myself and was out of bus range to visit anyone I knew and together with the person I lived with who was paying for my housing we were doing our first major poly was worse.

The years I lived with my dad after my brother died were worse. Tose years were so much worse.

I'm very lucky right now, sitting here waiting for my jars of pasta sauce to cool and my jars for applesauce to sanitize, in a house I own that I may conceivably be able to keep owning through the next several years if the stars align, with life projects that most days feel like they matter to the world and with people who love me and though many of them may be far away some are not.

And I think covid is helping me to realize I don't really like travel much anyways. I'd rather people came to me. Ha.