Breathe and flow

We've had a thaw here: huge full moon over halloween and up to 11C or so, brely dropping overnight. The snow is gone, the water atop slush is gone. Mars (?) has been bright in the sky lately whenever I look.

The BC election has come and gone. The NDP, a labour/traditionally left but becoming centre as society catches up party, got I think their first ever back-to-back governments, and turned a minority government into majority. The greens kept their 3 seats. It's cautiously hopeful.

And tomorrow is election night in the US. For future reference, this is for Trump's second term. Things feel like a powder keg: there will be a very slow return of all the votes because many people mailed or voted early with covid, neither side -- because there's nothing in the US right now that doesn't feel like it has only two diametrically opposed sides -- trust that it will be a fair election. So for those to whom the country isn't already an irrelevant sideshow there is tension, and a waiting breath.

Tomorrow Tucker and I will spend the evening together, doing little projects and trying to keep distracted. Benefit of living in Pacific time is that if there's something to be known by end of day we'll know it before sleep.

Things I can do:

Tidy the plant shelf and start microgreens for winter, I miss eating green things.
Jar up the sauerkraut and the jalapeno carrot pickles and either find room in the fridge and/or pasteurize some of them.
Make another big batch of italian sausage, and maybe a batch of bangers, and freeze or can. I pretty much take all my sausage out of casings anyhow, so I might as well not bother to put them in.
Brush a dog or two.
Make a super old-school boiled pudding with lard instead of suet, is this doable?
Bottle booze.
Sex.
Yoga.

Meanwhile the antidepressants are working well, bringing me definite hope that I have the capability to be happy. The last two days weren't the best but I am going into the worst part of my cycle. The side-effects so far are pretty tolerable: very occasional ringing in my ears that is banished by a change in background sound, a little bit of digestive upset, sleep is a little more fragile than it was but still possible to get with a little more care. And the benefits, well. I brushed the dogs today and we cuddled. Just... something I do because we both enjoy it, not because it's a chore. That's good.

I also spent a bunch of the day reading through the whole Franklin Veaux relationship harm thing. It came up, and last time I paid attention there wasn't such a well-curated site about it. I appreciate reading a range of perspectives on how folks are impacted by various behaviours, and using that to consider my own behaviour and my own boundaries. I feel so so far removed from any poly groups or poly community now, and to be honest I met some neat people in those communities but I don't think I could stomach them now. Poly itself has diversified so much from those days, too; I think there's a set of relationship standards and skills that I share with a bunch of folks who may or not be under the poly umbrella. So it brings back echoes that I'm well away from, but also gives me a bit of a playground to see folks' relationship stuff. And I do like seeing folks' relationship stuff.

A couple more days before we freeze again. It'll be a rough freeze: everything is wet and muddy right no and I think we're supposed to have a sharp drop to -14. Better get everyone tucked away in good deep straw.

I am so curious about what tomorrow brings. Fingers crossed.