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Maybe I've never formalized what success would look like for me before. I've been always moving to something better. I never really did stop to think about what "better-enough" would look like. To some degree I think I'm there, in the sense that I'm in a place where I do not need to take whatever is offered; I can assess whether it meets my goals and go from there. Starting to play with this idea, I come up with:
Gardening every summer for the rest of my life - that's a component of success. The gardens can look different but always being involved in one, having one that I tend and that provides for me, that's important. Anything that requires me to not have a garden is probably not going to suit my definition of personal success.
Having folks to reach out and talk to when there's something on my mind, and having folks to talk to about deeper topics, that's part of success. Talking through events in my life is a normal part of life maintenance for me; it helps me process and come to terms with everything. Journaling regularly is part of that, so are intimate friends I trust to be be honest with. Allowing those conversations to spill into bigger philosophical and political topics is important in creating meaning, and it's also my most accessible form of intimacy with humans. Times in my life without journaling and feeling I can reach out to folks to discuss what's on my mind, I'd consider those times unsuccessful.
Finding a community of people with shared plant interests is important to my success. Feeling like one person in a community of similar people has always been a struggle and the folks who grow a thousand tomato starts or saved their allowance to buy seeds in high school help me feel connected. I'm working on this right now.
Having time and energy to volunteer alongside other volunteers is a good marker of a successful life. It means I'm making good enough decisions to have time and energy left over, and it also helps connect me to other people in the world and to hope. I gave away a bunch of seeds this year and that was something, but organizing in a group would be better. Volunteering is a great metric to measure my success, because I do need most other stuff to be in alignment for it to happen: I need time, energy, and community.
Physical intimacy is part of success. Having regular sex and snuggling in a way that's fulfilling, calming, and cooperative would be part of a good life.
A mind that's well-kept such that, even when it has spikes of intensity in any direction, it doesn't interfere with eating, sleeping, or other markers of success: that's important. Also situations where I can keep my mind like that: enough financial stability, for instance, that I can tell myself it's not reasonable to really worry about losing my garden and my personal safety.
Maintaining my ability for joy and empathy, and experiencing those things regularly (though not all the time!) is fundamental to my definition of a successful life.
Physical private personal space, whether it's a house or not, is definitely part of a successful life.
Feeling comfortable speaking up for myself in the company I keep. That is, not spending much time around folks where I don't feel ok speaking my truth.
Gardening every summer for the rest of my life - that's a component of success. The gardens can look different but always being involved in one, having one that I tend and that provides for me, that's important. Anything that requires me to not have a garden is probably not going to suit my definition of personal success.
Having folks to reach out and talk to when there's something on my mind, and having folks to talk to about deeper topics, that's part of success. Talking through events in my life is a normal part of life maintenance for me; it helps me process and come to terms with everything. Journaling regularly is part of that, so are intimate friends I trust to be be honest with. Allowing those conversations to spill into bigger philosophical and political topics is important in creating meaning, and it's also my most accessible form of intimacy with humans. Times in my life without journaling and feeling I can reach out to folks to discuss what's on my mind, I'd consider those times unsuccessful.
Finding a community of people with shared plant interests is important to my success. Feeling like one person in a community of similar people has always been a struggle and the folks who grow a thousand tomato starts or saved their allowance to buy seeds in high school help me feel connected. I'm working on this right now.
Having time and energy to volunteer alongside other volunteers is a good marker of a successful life. It means I'm making good enough decisions to have time and energy left over, and it also helps connect me to other people in the world and to hope. I gave away a bunch of seeds this year and that was something, but organizing in a group would be better. Volunteering is a great metric to measure my success, because I do need most other stuff to be in alignment for it to happen: I need time, energy, and community.
Physical intimacy is part of success. Having regular sex and snuggling in a way that's fulfilling, calming, and cooperative would be part of a good life.
A mind that's well-kept such that, even when it has spikes of intensity in any direction, it doesn't interfere with eating, sleeping, or other markers of success: that's important. Also situations where I can keep my mind like that: enough financial stability, for instance, that I can tell myself it's not reasonable to really worry about losing my garden and my personal safety.
Maintaining my ability for joy and empathy, and experiencing those things regularly (though not all the time!) is fundamental to my definition of a successful life.
Physical private personal space, whether it's a house or not, is definitely part of a successful life.
Feeling comfortable speaking up for myself in the company I keep. That is, not spending much time around folks where I don't feel ok speaking my truth.
