(no subject)

When I was little I had nightmares about being buried alive
Trapped, arms to my side, unable to move
My chest slowly immobilized, my air slowly run out
But not quite yet, not quite.
Alive, but knowing.

Since then I've learned what I am. Not quite human
Because humans can--

You say you're home. We'd both like to talk
It's been awhile
And we miss each other.
I hold the phone in my hands
But I can't feel my hands
Can't feel
Clicking the screen on and off
On and off
Off

A human would pick up the phone.

A human would just--
It's only--
It's easy, do you understand? Why do you never understand? I'm only asking for this little thing.

So easy anyone could do it.

Now I'm forty-two.
This is a nightmare about being buried alive.
Trapped, unable to force the needed words or motion
And, even with my home loving around me, watching my time run out
But not quite yet,
Not quite.
Alive, but knowing.

If I could only just
It's so easy
anyone
could have done it

That's why
i
am
not