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greenstormI think I've figured out what's going on in my weirdness with the Juggler -- and why it's having so much impact, it has a lot to do with some of my feelings surrounding the whole Exotic thing.
So, I get to talk to him about that, and let's see what it does. Right now I'm suddenly acutely aware of the fragility of relationships and it's hard for me to trust that there will be a good outcome even if the actual issue is... well, probably pretty small. But, forge ahead. *sigh*
The Exotic's heading out Friday morning, I need to see about getting him to the airport.
And sooner or later I need to pull myself off the computer and get on with that Big Issue I mentioned, not today but sometime. Sometime. For practice I'll start on the citizenship issue -- I have support on that, Mom's doing her thing too and so she can help me.
Bah, humbug. What I -really- want is to spend a good long time digging in the garden. That's something else I should talk to the Juggler and their household about, I suppose. There's a bunch of green stuff to be turned under over there, and some boz hedges (still) to be trimmed... although maybe that should wait until they've officially bought the place.
I also want to get out the graph paper and start mapping. That relationship-stability thing is throwing off my feeling-that-life-goes-on, and so I need to remember that even if none of my relationships are very long-term committed, or even mid-term committed, there's still other stuff. And even if this relationship goes belly-up, which it really shouldn't do, gardening does that.
It's not, will I still have this garden space in a year. It's, I can create things over time and some things require a lot of time to create properly.
Hmm. I think I've just given myself relationship advice.
Well, on to a shower. I'll keep you updated.
So, I get to talk to him about that, and let's see what it does. Right now I'm suddenly acutely aware of the fragility of relationships and it's hard for me to trust that there will be a good outcome even if the actual issue is... well, probably pretty small. But, forge ahead. *sigh*
The Exotic's heading out Friday morning, I need to see about getting him to the airport.
And sooner or later I need to pull myself off the computer and get on with that Big Issue I mentioned, not today but sometime. Sometime. For practice I'll start on the citizenship issue -- I have support on that, Mom's doing her thing too and so she can help me.
Bah, humbug. What I -really- want is to spend a good long time digging in the garden. That's something else I should talk to the Juggler and their household about, I suppose. There's a bunch of green stuff to be turned under over there, and some boz hedges (still) to be trimmed... although maybe that should wait until they've officially bought the place.
I also want to get out the graph paper and start mapping. That relationship-stability thing is throwing off my feeling-that-life-goes-on, and so I need to remember that even if none of my relationships are very long-term committed, or even mid-term committed, there's still other stuff. And even if this relationship goes belly-up, which it really shouldn't do, gardening does that.
It's not, will I still have this garden space in a year. It's, I can create things over time and some things require a lot of time to create properly.
Hmm. I think I've just given myself relationship advice.
Well, on to a shower. I'll keep you updated.
