Morning Dreams

[greenstorm]

When I wake up early like that, and then go back to sleep, I tend to have terrible dreams that throw very clear images of my fears up to me.

I had a very clear dream about my fears with the Juggler a couple of days ago, absolutely outlining them in hard-edged crystal. I had one about the SO two nights ago, and last night (this morning?) I had one about TOW. There isn't much to fear from the SO, I find, but oh, those other ones.

They've got less power over me right now, or this one does -- it isn't leaving me haunted by those fears it evoked. I find it strange that this is coming so clear now.

Interestingly enough, I tend to fear indifference from males and dislike from females. Those general gender patterns seem to be pretty clear in general and in specific cases, and so it's a good reassurance for me that my specific fears are perhaps not arising from the way these people are acting with me, but instead from my own internal stuff.

And yes, that is reassuring. :)

Comments

[silverseastar.livejournal.com]

Perhaps the dreams are a sort of awakening into yourself. A recognition of fears or patterns you are trying to move through and leave behind?

I'm impressed with the amount of hard work you are doing lately. It is neat to watch it unfold. Thanks for sharing, the hard stuff and the successful stuff.

[greenstorm.livejournal.com]

I suppose I do need reminding of that at this point. I know I have the general tendancies, but they do get tangled up in day-to-day stuff and forgotten.

*chuckle*

I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere, really. Usually when I do a lot of this kind of work I end up somewhere else, but with this it feels like I'm... becoming more centered, was the term you used. Like I'm becoming more solid and durable in the midst of circumstance, instead of changing the circumstance and instead of hiding from it.