Well.

Feb. 16th, 2012 03:43 pm
greenstorm: (Default)
[personal profile] greenstorm
Here I am in the computer lab at school a little before a round of midterms. My feet are wet, they got wet this morning at work, which means 12 hours or so in wet socks. A schoolmate is bringing me dry socks, totally voluntary, and I'm worried that when he gives them to me I'm going to break down in tears.

Sometimes I feel, not only unworthy of bring done things for, but also of having nice things done to me, or having friends, of being paid for work, of taking up any space in the world. That's how it is. On the bad days I tell myself that it's okay because I don't really exist (those are few now) and on the good days I feel a million feet tall and like each step shakes the world (there are few of those nowadays too).

I am beyond burnt out right now, with no end in sight. There is an end on the calendar, though: June, 4.5 months away. That's not so bad, right?

Date: 2012-02-17 12:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wished4this.livejournal.com
You can do it.

Date: 2012-02-17 03:37 am (UTC)

Date: 2012-02-17 03:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] estrellada.livejournal.com
you're worthy of love and care. even if you're 'far away' and 'too busy'.

Date: 2012-02-21 12:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dunfalach.livejournal.com
You've been loved for as long as I've known you, E. That's what, a decade now? By many people. And by God for longer than you've existed, even if you don't know Him yet. None of us is worthy, really, when we dig down into the things only we and God know to be within us. But that's what's beautiful about genuine love. It doesn't actually require us to be worthy of it, because we can't; it just loves. If it was earned, it wouldn't be a gift.

Date: 2012-02-27 07:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_greenwitch_/
Should I start some extra tomato seedlings for you when I start mine next weekend? Black, Sweetie and Golden Nugget - Cherries all, and a some hybrid Sungold Cherry because Adrian fell in love with them.

Date: 2012-03-05 05:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greenstorm.livejournal.com
I would love one of each (incl Sungold) if you end up with extras!

Date: 2012-03-05 11:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_greenwitch_/
I started 6 cells of each, double-seeded and only intend to plant four *fingers crossed.* Healthy extras will be yours!

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