(no subject)

[greenstorm]

Dear self: losing your land is as real a trigger as any of your childhood abuse ones. You for real get your brain put in space in cotton wool, get all the weird body stuff, and stop existing. Please take care of yourself when something like this is going to come up, go somewhere and do things that will make you feel safe afterwards until you're well, and maybe try not to court those situations until you've got a little more of a handle on this. At least, take them in controlled doses.

And really let's figure out how to afford therapy again now that job doesn't cover it.