![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
greenstormI'd like to state, for the record, that any time I'm certain of an event or make a sure declarative about the future that thing will not come to pass. Homes, relationships, jobs, leaving, staying: in my life, if I come to completely expect something, it will not come to pass.
A&E have had a bid accepted on a property in the mid-north Vancouver Island. Everything happens for many reasons each with its own lens:
I. just. Said. That. I. Was. Staying. Here. My heart just believed it and I had less than a day of rest alone in this space after mom left and before they viewed the property.
Also it's spring and people are selling, so this was a reasonable time for this to happen after braking for the winter.
Also A&E have been waiting all winter and are more able to compromise on location, especially since Tucker (without telling anyone, but they got the message at least) removed his requirements from the search. It's pretty remote.
There are a lot of subjects to remove on the offer including sale of A&E's place (they have ten viewings this week), inspection, water test, and ability to get insurance.
I have not been there to walk it. After A&E's place has an accepted bid (if?) I'll fly down for a day or two to look it over, mark trees for clearing, mark fencelines, and then come back up here and live with Threshold for awhile longer. There's no way to go down before it's ready for the animals, after all.
Not having walked it I can't tell you about it. I can tell you about North Vancouver Island, though. It's intensely pacific northwest, west coast. It freezes in the winter intermittently, and not for many days at a time. It's heavy overcast to drizzly well over half the time; almost no one would recognise the rain as rain because not a lot of water tends to come down at once but it is always damp. It's a little dryer and sunnier in summer but less than you might think. Everything is green and smells like leaf mould and conifer and water. Summers are also cool; I'm not sure exactly how cool yet but I may not get much warmer than here. Thing is, it would be the same temperature as here but frost free for maybe twice as long. That introduces possibilities like yuzu and very hardy kumquats.
I don't really want to talk about it though? I'm here with Threshold, and I want to be here, and enjoy here. I don't want to spend my thoughts on places far away, though I do love the planning exercise. I want to be in the present moment because I love it here.
There's lots before this is completely sure: interpersonal, financial, legal. It may never happen, who knows? But it's looking likely at this moment. A&E will look over offers Thursday and until then I am so far outside my mind and my body I'm finding myself just standing places, staring, and it's hard to move.
There's a lot more to say about this. I wanted to put it down here though. Ahead of me may be this place without (yet) a name. I once again don't know what happens next.
A&E have had a bid accepted on a property in the mid-north Vancouver Island. Everything happens for many reasons each with its own lens:
I. just. Said. That. I. Was. Staying. Here. My heart just believed it and I had less than a day of rest alone in this space after mom left and before they viewed the property.
Also it's spring and people are selling, so this was a reasonable time for this to happen after braking for the winter.
Also A&E have been waiting all winter and are more able to compromise on location, especially since Tucker (without telling anyone, but they got the message at least) removed his requirements from the search. It's pretty remote.
There are a lot of subjects to remove on the offer including sale of A&E's place (they have ten viewings this week), inspection, water test, and ability to get insurance.
I have not been there to walk it. After A&E's place has an accepted bid (if?) I'll fly down for a day or two to look it over, mark trees for clearing, mark fencelines, and then come back up here and live with Threshold for awhile longer. There's no way to go down before it's ready for the animals, after all.
Not having walked it I can't tell you about it. I can tell you about North Vancouver Island, though. It's intensely pacific northwest, west coast. It freezes in the winter intermittently, and not for many days at a time. It's heavy overcast to drizzly well over half the time; almost no one would recognise the rain as rain because not a lot of water tends to come down at once but it is always damp. It's a little dryer and sunnier in summer but less than you might think. Everything is green and smells like leaf mould and conifer and water. Summers are also cool; I'm not sure exactly how cool yet but I may not get much warmer than here. Thing is, it would be the same temperature as here but frost free for maybe twice as long. That introduces possibilities like yuzu and very hardy kumquats.
I don't really want to talk about it though? I'm here with Threshold, and I want to be here, and enjoy here. I don't want to spend my thoughts on places far away, though I do love the planning exercise. I want to be in the present moment because I love it here.
There's lots before this is completely sure: interpersonal, financial, legal. It may never happen, who knows? But it's looking likely at this moment. A&E will look over offers Thursday and until then I am so far outside my mind and my body I'm finding myself just standing places, staring, and it's hard to move.
There's a lot more to say about this. I wanted to put it down here though. Ahead of me may be this place without (yet) a name. I once again don't know what happens next.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-17 12:15 am (UTC)are A&E poly? everybody here is, so our assorted poly-skills and community-skills probably do all dovetail neatly. but - we also started this in our early 30s and have matured & settled down a lot along the way, individually & collectively.
Not doing something, or putting it off, can be deeply consequential
yes. we try to sort things by urgency & importance, and start with the ones that are both, but not to lose anything important to a wash of thigns that are merely urgent. things that are neither, but that we know we want anyway, may take years. (there's a hole in the ground out back that we affectionately call "the root cellar." it's not. it might be, someday! but it's literally just a hole right now.)
So they self-censor, swallowing things instead of speaking and only bringing up big things or easy things.
yeah. that is a pattern that will need to break, if it's there in your group. it's really human! and it really causes long term problems, resentments, cracks in the foundation. if the group is a genuinely safe space for each person to speak what's going on for them and to share hard things, and if a time is created where hard things are supposed to come up, are expected and even wanted (for the sake of keeping the group healthy), that can do a lot to support breaking those kinds of patterns. our Retreat is that kind of space/time - hard things always come up, the group supports the individuals in talking it out as needed, and hard things are expected. someone will have something, every year. and being able to air these things and work on strategies to correct them has been enormously helpful for us. when the ex was around during the years it wasn't safe for certain types of conversations to happen in front of him, then they happened withotu him at house meeting instead - though the whole "the fact that we're not safe with you means we need to change this radically" conversation took a long time to build up to. the whole thing was a huge set of lessons for all of us and i'm honestly proud of us for weathering it. with someone else, someone who didn't shut down emotionally challenging conversations or blame all hard feelings on other people, that would have gone very differently.