Fifteen Minutes.

[greenstorm]

This is it, in a lot of ways. These next two days are the end of my home-sharing with Kynnin. They're the end of my having any sort of financial prop (what if that weird illness from last summer comes back?). They're the end of my having a physical prop in the form of a dead-reliable birth control, at least until I can get an appointment made to replace it. It also, like it always does, feels like the end of my relationship with the Juggler cause I've no clue when I'm seeing him next.

It's the end of my only doing stuff if the close people I love are doing it.

The end, the end, the end, it's like I'm walking around closing books, and I don't know what's behind them. It doesn't feel like the beginning of anything yet, just so many ends.

Please, it's not about rationality here. I need to feel this sometimes, and then I'll have breakfast and go to work like normal.

Fifteen minutes.

Comments

[echo2oak.livejournal.com]

*** Smile ***

Yes, I feel this way too, today. The need to just feel crappy for awhile, recognize the pain, but then also recognize that I /do/ have the ability to move on, even though I don't know where moving on might take me next.

I think it's great you can see things changing, even in a painful way, but then also have the strength to keep on, to not let these endings stop new beginnings.

*** HUG ***

[rainbowk.livejournal.com]

endings and beginnings.

I always count my years as beginning at the summer solstice. It's always made more sense to me.

Take care. *hugs*

[wik.livejournal.com]

This is the kind of sadness that can feel good, or at least deep and fulfilling, if you let it. And this weekend, enjoy your freedom. ;)

sigh...

[hedge-wizard.livejournal.com]

i know the feeling greenie...

don't forget to look up every now and then. it's a beautiful day out there.

take care,

hedge

[seeker9.livejournal.com]

*Hugs* Just hang in there..

[estrellada.livejournal.com]

When I was having a couple of really bad years, I used to cry in the shower. It felt safer, since the rest of the time I was desperatly being functional.

Transitions are always tough, because they cast a light of uncertainty on everything else.

Just be a rock, sometimes. If you can't be a rock, be a pebble.