Hahahahahahaha
May. 30th, 2022 07:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
greenstormThis is kinda embarassing. You are going to laugh so much at this, especially the poly folks.
Or actually, maybe it's too much tonight. Call it small-town monogamous drama that involves everyone in town I have any interest in and takes the new person off the table and leaves it at that. Disappointing, extremely silly (from my POV), involves a bunch of suffering, is probably not surprising, and will take time to resolve itself.
Plus A&E are wanting to get back in touch.
Seriously, why do I do anything except garden? It all ends in tears.
On the other hand I feel so confident now in my actions. I'll do the right thing, and I do, and it comes from a place of care and connection and not these relics or torture devices society saddles us with. I'm free to offer myself clearly and set boundaries, freer than I've ever been. This situation fucking sucks but it hasn't shaken me, really.
I am sad, disappointed, and looking forward to doing a heavy lift for awhile. I mean, at least I'm here, to be here for folks if they need? But when do I get folks to be there for me?
Also, as Nicholas said, "My vague feeling is like hell you need this shit, and I'm trying to formulate the sentence "can't a person just get laid without drama" around your particular choice of pronouns and identities without much success so let's just leave it at that? Ugh."
Gah.
Or actually, maybe it's too much tonight. Call it small-town monogamous drama that involves everyone in town I have any interest in and takes the new person off the table and leaves it at that. Disappointing, extremely silly (from my POV), involves a bunch of suffering, is probably not surprising, and will take time to resolve itself.
Plus A&E are wanting to get back in touch.
Seriously, why do I do anything except garden? It all ends in tears.
On the other hand I feel so confident now in my actions. I'll do the right thing, and I do, and it comes from a place of care and connection and not these relics or torture devices society saddles us with. I'm free to offer myself clearly and set boundaries, freer than I've ever been. This situation fucking sucks but it hasn't shaken me, really.
I am sad, disappointed, and looking forward to doing a heavy lift for awhile. I mean, at least I'm here, to be here for folks if they need? But when do I get folks to be there for me?
Also, as Nicholas said, "My vague feeling is like hell you need this shit, and I'm trying to formulate the sentence "can't a person just get laid without drama" around your particular choice of pronouns and identities without much success so let's just leave it at that? Ugh."
Gah.
no subject
Date: 2022-05-31 05:58 am (UTC)no laughter only hugs
no subject
Date: 2022-05-31 12:29 pm (UTC)