Web vs Atom
May. 31st, 2022 11:38 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
greenstormIn the end I think the trouble with my entry point to Fort is the way monogamy sets up atomized social structures while nonmonogamy/queer culture leans heavily on an interconnected web of folks who have each other's backs. I mean, we might not even like each other, but we have each other's backs.
My understanding is the web of chosen family and mutual support comes out of not having traditional support structures, out of being kicked out of families and off jobs and needing to band together not to be attacked or killed. I don't think of myself as queer really, but I have that same webbed structure of support and I'm used to it.
Instead Fort has a typical monogamous structure, your married units and their blood family are the support. Folks outside those units might be nice but they're not there to have your back. It's probably especially entrenched here because there are so many big old families who take care of their own, and then transient people who just leave instead of establishing networks.
I do think it falls apart a bit in practice in Fort. I mean, a lot of those married units probably do not really have each other's backs. That's enough worse -- limiting your support pool even if it's not functioning -- that I'm not going to think about it more right now.
But here's the thing. I want someone to have my back here. Tucker did that for me while he was here, and now he is gone and I just... there's nowhere I can show up and be fed and just sit and be cared for if something bad is going down. I move my furniture on my own. I always, always have to figure it out.
I don't know. Hard times.
My understanding is the web of chosen family and mutual support comes out of not having traditional support structures, out of being kicked out of families and off jobs and needing to band together not to be attacked or killed. I don't think of myself as queer really, but I have that same webbed structure of support and I'm used to it.
Instead Fort has a typical monogamous structure, your married units and their blood family are the support. Folks outside those units might be nice but they're not there to have your back. It's probably especially entrenched here because there are so many big old families who take care of their own, and then transient people who just leave instead of establishing networks.
I do think it falls apart a bit in practice in Fort. I mean, a lot of those married units probably do not really have each other's backs. That's enough worse -- limiting your support pool even if it's not functioning -- that I'm not going to think about it more right now.
But here's the thing. I want someone to have my back here. Tucker did that for me while he was here, and now he is gone and I just... there's nowhere I can show up and be fed and just sit and be cared for if something bad is going down. I move my furniture on my own. I always, always have to figure it out.
I don't know. Hard times.
