I love my mom.

[greenstorm]

We're human beings together, and she loves me. Look at what she's said in an email. That first bolded line just broke me down into tears twice reading it. Compassion and love! Both compassion, and love... who has time for that nowadays? Just her. She also always tells me the truth.

>Things are going pretty terribly in my personal life, with Kynnin, Mouse,
>and Chris, but I'm keeping afloat and putting energy into friends and the
>volunteer work at VanDusen where there are some aquaintance-type friends
>and also into my work, where some of my clients are really great. The
>problem I had before seems to be resolved.

I am sorry to hear things are emotionally messy just now. Tie on your hat, as they say, because that messiness is sometimes a recurring thing. I think it takes a bit of resolve. experience and where-with-all to eaither live comfortably through it or learn to void and rename it. Any way, I don't know a lot about what you are feeling, but I do have compassion and love for you...

...

>The folk fest is coming up soon, this weekend in fact. I'm going to stay
>at Trevor's house while I attend it. I've been talking to Trevor on and
>off lately, which is kind of nice; I knew him quite awhile ago and that
>continuity is nice, as is the fact that we're not dating and any oddness
>surrounding that sort of thing was worked out years ago. It's a safe
>space, as is my space here with Tillie and with another friend I've made in
>the last year, Ellen. I still talk to Kynnin, and enjoy his company, but
>he can't support me very well emotionally for the same reasons that our
>relationship didn't work out as it was.

I am glad that you have friends and can keep in touch. Too often women feel they need to tahnk men with their genitals for giving them the time of day. That emotional neediness, or lack of feeling that you ought to be treated with interest and respect, rather than finding it exceptional or thinking it is a favor, is a difficult one to grow out of.

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/_greenwitch_/]

I'm glad to know you feel safe with me, and will work to validate the trust that implies. Sleep well - you must be at least emotionally exhausted. Hope the day went well.

hug

[echo2oak.livejournal.com]

That's one smart loving mom you've got, Greenie.

She's right, dead on. Especially about women being taught to express gratitude with their bodies whether it's sex or cooking or modeling. We're taught to thrive under attention and wither when it's taken away, when in fact, that's just a social construction, one we can control ourselves if we begin to value our own being.

*hug*

If you ever want to chat on Chia, remember the Gryphon.

[estrellada.livejournal.com]

*snuggle*

[wik.livejournal.com]

That really is beautiful. I can see a little of this essence in you.