Announcement, and Rest.

[greenstorm]

So I'm now single. Not kinda single, not I-only-have-a-secondary-relationship single, but 'there are two people in my life I might sleep with sometimes if the stars align' sort of single, what you might label 'FRIENDS (with benefits)' if that. In truth, my emotional connections will now be stronger with my friends and my mom than anyone I sleep with, as there's not enough available time and commitment to sustain those relationships even at the level of a committed friendship.

This is sad, and it's regrettable, but the beautiful things that have happened have certainly happened and won't be erased because of this. I have time to be myself now, to make beautiful things again (I built a Keep on Chia today, and I want to go back to inks and watercolours) and to cook and eat and hang out with my friends.

It's funny to think that until about fourteen months ago, I'd never broken up with (or been broken up with by, sometimes the lines are fuzzy) anyone I'd ever had technical sex with. The last year has brought a lot of changes to my life, and I'm already taking those things in stride. I think that's a good sign.

I worry about him, and I'm a little bitter, and these things may pass or they won't. Still, I'm whole, and I'll remain that way.

And, now and again, I will regret the end of something beautiful.

Comments

[seeker9.livejournal.com]

*hugs & comfort*

Life is full of lessons.. And growing..

[babboo.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I'm glad you saw the beautiful things and there are many more beautiful things in your future.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_greenwitch_/]

Well, I have to agree with babboo, and I know you have people around you for support (including my slightly depressed self ;). It seems like a lot has come to a head in your life recently, and you shouldn't blame yourself for being occasionally overwhelmed. I've been wanting to do creative stuff, and unable to make and keep time with myself for playing with paints and pastels and fabric. Perhaps you and I, with estrellada if she's available, could schedule some time to drink tea and enjoy creative company? And I'd like to eat your cooking - I'll bring ingredients!