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greenstormFirst time I've driven home in the dark in awhile. It must be coming on winter.
The mama bear with her two cubs was across the street in the uncut ditch of the abandoned house when I left at 4:30. I honked the horn and she ran off. I was half expecting her and the babies to be in the apple trees when I got back, but Thea was there to greet me, looking nervous but determined, and I didn't see any moving shadows anywhere. All the geese were (and still are) on the driveway by the goosehouse.
Post-lockdown I need to remember that people become more comfortable, individuals become more comfortable, with continued exposure. Just because it's awkward in the beginning doesn't mean I won't be friends with someone.
Anyhow, nice evening with my coworker and his wife. I went for dinner there on the last day of school, and now on the last day before school starts (she's a teacher). I definitley need evenings like this in my life, but also probably only a handful of times a year. I gave them seeds for tomatoes; today we ate those tomatoes. This makes my heart, not sing, but ground. It makes it integrate into the entire world.
This weekend, and then driving home, I've felt... like I exist in the present. It becomes hard to plan but also it just feels nice, living at one tight moment in time as much as I ever can. I slow down and can do things like chop an entire pot of apples very fine, or pick beans and apples, and not feel pulled away halfway through.
Sometimes I think this is my personal balance: sore muscles and a calm mind, or pain-free and tangled up. Lately my body has felt rougher, but still.
Bedtime now.
The mama bear with her two cubs was across the street in the uncut ditch of the abandoned house when I left at 4:30. I honked the horn and she ran off. I was half expecting her and the babies to be in the apple trees when I got back, but Thea was there to greet me, looking nervous but determined, and I didn't see any moving shadows anywhere. All the geese were (and still are) on the driveway by the goosehouse.
Post-lockdown I need to remember that people become more comfortable, individuals become more comfortable, with continued exposure. Just because it's awkward in the beginning doesn't mean I won't be friends with someone.
Anyhow, nice evening with my coworker and his wife. I went for dinner there on the last day of school, and now on the last day before school starts (she's a teacher). I definitley need evenings like this in my life, but also probably only a handful of times a year. I gave them seeds for tomatoes; today we ate those tomatoes. This makes my heart, not sing, but ground. It makes it integrate into the entire world.
This weekend, and then driving home, I've felt... like I exist in the present. It becomes hard to plan but also it just feels nice, living at one tight moment in time as much as I ever can. I slow down and can do things like chop an entire pot of apples very fine, or pick beans and apples, and not feel pulled away halfway through.
Sometimes I think this is my personal balance: sore muscles and a calm mind, or pain-free and tangled up. Lately my body has felt rougher, but still.
Bedtime now.
