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greenstormAnother night where I couldn't sleep.
There was a bunch of objectively good stuff in the day: I got the yard snowblowed, I had a good two-hour talk with the landrace gardening crew, I brought back a ton of grain and got it parked well. I'd expect to be happy or at least content. I didn't manage that at all.
I'm still super labile and my mind is not right. This is a couple days now; napping yesterday seemed to help some but I can't do that with work tomorrow.
I'm going to try eating and maybe that will help.
I tried reaching out to the gyne unsuccessfully on Wed or Thurs, I'm going to do so again tomorrow.
I'm getting scared.
My mind is in a bad way.
The voice that says I should never have trusted a medical professional to do any sort of follow-up care, and I never should have had the temerity to believe the system could ever help me feel better, is loud. I can't tell whether it's truth or where it's coming from.
There was a bunch of objectively good stuff in the day: I got the yard snowblowed, I had a good two-hour talk with the landrace gardening crew, I brought back a ton of grain and got it parked well. I'd expect to be happy or at least content. I didn't manage that at all.
I'm still super labile and my mind is not right. This is a couple days now; napping yesterday seemed to help some but I can't do that with work tomorrow.
I'm going to try eating and maybe that will help.
I tried reaching out to the gyne unsuccessfully on Wed or Thurs, I'm going to do so again tomorrow.
I'm getting scared.
My mind is in a bad way.
The voice that says I should never have trusted a medical professional to do any sort of follow-up care, and I never should have had the temerity to believe the system could ever help me feel better, is loud. I can't tell whether it's truth or where it's coming from.
