Playing with the other kids
Jul. 26th, 2023 08:38 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
greenstormSo let me be clear: since I was about six I haven't been great at playing with the other kids. Or at least, playing "normally". I understand that its common now to diagnose autism early and use negative reinforcement to make kids play "normally" which, thank goodness, was not a thing in my day (nor do I think mom would have stood for it). But if we think of play as testing capabilities and venturing into the not-quite-known, exploring rules and exceptions-- I don't do that in the same way as other people. I'll play with physical properties a little, in clay or soap or whatever, or small iterative things like climbing the same wall a bunch of times in a row. But I don't hurl myself into an exploration or how far I can go before falling or having my body fail me suddenly. The closest I get to that is seeing how many buckets I can carry in a row.
Solly is, um, the equivalent of a neurotypical kid in this regard? She wants to play. She wants to run and bump into things and trip and run more and jump and sometimes fall in the service of testing her limits. She wants the glory of stretching her muscles in new and exciting ways in service of games with half-manifested rules. And I suck at this kind of play, especially now when it's honestly a bit of a challenge to stand up long enough.
She loves being snuggled and petted, and I can do that. But then she also wants to play, and I'm not sure how to do that. I read a training blog that described a particular dog as "paws everywhere and deeply social" and that's my Solstice pup alright. Since Thea started playing chase and now wrestling with her she's a lot happier, but she also wants to play with me, and I'm not sure what to do. I'm old and boring even for humans, let alone this smart, athletic pup. Poetry or wordplay don't cut it with her.
It's funny because I recognise it from the way I have sex, that pattern, I guess I have the same "ok, doing the serious thing, but now let's play" in that circumstance. I can see the sort of comfort in interaction building, and then wanting to launch into exploration. Not useful here.
So we're both definitely still on the learning curve for this one. I'm looking forward to seeing where we end up.
Solly is, um, the equivalent of a neurotypical kid in this regard? She wants to play. She wants to run and bump into things and trip and run more and jump and sometimes fall in the service of testing her limits. She wants the glory of stretching her muscles in new and exciting ways in service of games with half-manifested rules. And I suck at this kind of play, especially now when it's honestly a bit of a challenge to stand up long enough.
She loves being snuggled and petted, and I can do that. But then she also wants to play, and I'm not sure how to do that. I read a training blog that described a particular dog as "paws everywhere and deeply social" and that's my Solstice pup alright. Since Thea started playing chase and now wrestling with her she's a lot happier, but she also wants to play with me, and I'm not sure what to do. I'm old and boring even for humans, let alone this smart, athletic pup. Poetry or wordplay don't cut it with her.
It's funny because I recognise it from the way I have sex, that pattern, I guess I have the same "ok, doing the serious thing, but now let's play" in that circumstance. I can see the sort of comfort in interaction building, and then wanting to launch into exploration. Not useful here.
So we're both definitely still on the learning curve for this one. I'm looking forward to seeing where we end up.
