(no subject)
Oct. 9th, 2024 07:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
greenstormI'm beginning to recover from all the disability paperwork submissions. It took most of my capacity for several weeks, I guess. Now I've had some time to recover, a week or two (?) which means I'm able to finally get back to more-or-less eating enough, maintaining the house a little, and doing things I actually like. I'm definitely in the learning part of managing this: if I take less than two hours to do things, then lie down a couple hours, then spend less than two hours doing things, then lie down again... it works pretty well. I've been pushing some, lately: doing pottery in my home for an hour and half, then lying down, and mostly eating premade food, worked. Spending a total of six hours in the day picking rose hips, cooking them down into syrup, and cooking meals for myself did not work. I got caught up in a conversation today while I was out and spent 4 hours doing errands instead of the hoped-for two, so tomorrow will be an in-bed day again.
So pushing things doesn't really make it better, but pacing things does, and I do need to keep my bedside stocked with bottled water, something proteiney, and something starchy so I can eat if I get stuck without the ability to go down the stairs and come up.
The woodstove has been off and on. When it's newly on downstairs is lovely, in part because I don't need to go up and down stairs to go outside: I can do pottery, lie on the couch, go outside, come in and lie on the couch, and it's much less physically taxing than the two flights of stairs to my bed. Right now, though, the downstairs wants to be around 16C without the woodstove, which is too cold, and roughly 30-35C with it on regularly, which is too warm. So we go on and off and I never quite settle. The baseboard heaters down there are on a thermostat that's a little wonky and they are, I'm pretty sure, full not only of my own cat hair but also scent of residents past. Those very thin electric fins can be vacuumed over but not cleaned between, really. Anyhow, when they go on my nose gets stuffed up.
All that said it stopped raining a couple days ago and we're into clear, brilliant, frosty-morning fall. Yesterday I dug up some extra raspberry bushes, today I bagged them and gave them away on the gardening facebook group in town. There's an art exhibition coming up that I made some pieces for, theme and proceeds are to the animal rescue. This is my first art show; the pieces just came out of the kiln yesterday so they need glazing and another fire. Even though it's my first I'm professional enough to know to make more than I need since some won't fire right, which is definitely what happened. I am not professional enough to want to write an artist's statement or price the objects.
Part of the lead up was making 4 teapots. I'd only made 3 in my life previously, 2 during the course and 1 the day after the course to cement how to make them in my head. Of the 4 I made, two were just kinda playing, and two were animal-themed for the show. One of the playing ones broke on the drive over to the studio (this happens when I make things at home, they're very fragile at that point).
One of the animal themed ones... well, when you make something on the wheel, it's turning and turning and basically all the clay is getting pushed in a spiral. The clay shrinks as it dries, and again as it turns to rock in the kiln, and that spiral unwinds a tiny bit. If you look at handmade cups you can often see the top of the handle is a little offset from the bottom, because the cup has unspiralled a little as it's dried and fired-- the handle was lined up to begin with. Some very pro potters offset the handle a little so when it spirals it lines up straight.
So for a teapot I make the big jug part, then I throw a spout separately. The bottom of the tip of the spout needs to be thin and kinda sticking out, for a good pour, while the top needs to be thicker for strength. Because I knew the spout would unwind a little, I offset the tip by about 10%. But. I threw the one spout upside down, which meant when I offset it, I offset it in the wrong direction, and so it unspooled even further away from where it's supposed to be. Always make several objects if it's vitally important that you get one to work!
I've been asked to teach a couple pottery classes and I'm trying to think about how to sort that out without killing my body.
Meanwhile the bottom of the driveway is a sea of mud, once I get the geese in the garden for the winter I'm going to throw rye in it to see if it'll sprout for spring. I definitely need to do some recontouring. I have some daffodils coming, I guess they act as good much against grass around apple trees, since they bloom then die back and suppress the grass but don't suppress the tree in the same way grass does. Bears have been all over in town, and the dogs have been working very hard at nice in several directions along the fenceline. The cats are mostly coming in because of the weather, but they go out enough to somehow come in and track mud up all the stairs onto my bed. When they are all in all day they get cranky and playfight on my bed at 6am.
I'm being patched in enough money to live on and to get the occasional assistive device right now.
When I get outside and get to do things I like I'm happy. When I spend too much time on the internet I'm not.
A lot of what I'm doing is what twelve-year-old me would have done: plants, following interest and hobbies from that into plant dying, food preserving (the rose hip syrup was so good), from plant dying into maybe light wire jewelery making as per bronze age pins or from food preserving into grain growing. My capacity is small so I'm trying not to bite off more than I can chew. I have the energy for a phone call maybe once a week with someone I care for, there aren't a lot of people in my day to day.
Just this evening I was lying here with Whiskey the cat, sprawled out with the double triangle on his belly softly lifting and falling with his breath, and I thought: I feel what it's like to love things again. Or, not things, but everything all at once. It's been awhile. Just to sit here, and let it breathe through my chest and out my skin, I remember that feeling. It was gone in a fraction of a second, and I'm not sure I want it to come back. It's not helpful for this era, for this political climate, for this situation, in any way. It's not contributory to a comfortable life. But it's familiar, and it's love, and I guess it can come back
So pushing things doesn't really make it better, but pacing things does, and I do need to keep my bedside stocked with bottled water, something proteiney, and something starchy so I can eat if I get stuck without the ability to go down the stairs and come up.
The woodstove has been off and on. When it's newly on downstairs is lovely, in part because I don't need to go up and down stairs to go outside: I can do pottery, lie on the couch, go outside, come in and lie on the couch, and it's much less physically taxing than the two flights of stairs to my bed. Right now, though, the downstairs wants to be around 16C without the woodstove, which is too cold, and roughly 30-35C with it on regularly, which is too warm. So we go on and off and I never quite settle. The baseboard heaters down there are on a thermostat that's a little wonky and they are, I'm pretty sure, full not only of my own cat hair but also scent of residents past. Those very thin electric fins can be vacuumed over but not cleaned between, really. Anyhow, when they go on my nose gets stuffed up.
All that said it stopped raining a couple days ago and we're into clear, brilliant, frosty-morning fall. Yesterday I dug up some extra raspberry bushes, today I bagged them and gave them away on the gardening facebook group in town. There's an art exhibition coming up that I made some pieces for, theme and proceeds are to the animal rescue. This is my first art show; the pieces just came out of the kiln yesterday so they need glazing and another fire. Even though it's my first I'm professional enough to know to make more than I need since some won't fire right, which is definitely what happened. I am not professional enough to want to write an artist's statement or price the objects.
Part of the lead up was making 4 teapots. I'd only made 3 in my life previously, 2 during the course and 1 the day after the course to cement how to make them in my head. Of the 4 I made, two were just kinda playing, and two were animal-themed for the show. One of the playing ones broke on the drive over to the studio (this happens when I make things at home, they're very fragile at that point).
One of the animal themed ones... well, when you make something on the wheel, it's turning and turning and basically all the clay is getting pushed in a spiral. The clay shrinks as it dries, and again as it turns to rock in the kiln, and that spiral unwinds a tiny bit. If you look at handmade cups you can often see the top of the handle is a little offset from the bottom, because the cup has unspiralled a little as it's dried and fired-- the handle was lined up to begin with. Some very pro potters offset the handle a little so when it spirals it lines up straight.
So for a teapot I make the big jug part, then I throw a spout separately. The bottom of the tip of the spout needs to be thin and kinda sticking out, for a good pour, while the top needs to be thicker for strength. Because I knew the spout would unwind a little, I offset the tip by about 10%. But. I threw the one spout upside down, which meant when I offset it, I offset it in the wrong direction, and so it unspooled even further away from where it's supposed to be. Always make several objects if it's vitally important that you get one to work!
I've been asked to teach a couple pottery classes and I'm trying to think about how to sort that out without killing my body.
Meanwhile the bottom of the driveway is a sea of mud, once I get the geese in the garden for the winter I'm going to throw rye in it to see if it'll sprout for spring. I definitely need to do some recontouring. I have some daffodils coming, I guess they act as good much against grass around apple trees, since they bloom then die back and suppress the grass but don't suppress the tree in the same way grass does. Bears have been all over in town, and the dogs have been working very hard at nice in several directions along the fenceline. The cats are mostly coming in because of the weather, but they go out enough to somehow come in and track mud up all the stairs onto my bed. When they are all in all day they get cranky and playfight on my bed at 6am.
I'm being patched in enough money to live on and to get the occasional assistive device right now.
When I get outside and get to do things I like I'm happy. When I spend too much time on the internet I'm not.
A lot of what I'm doing is what twelve-year-old me would have done: plants, following interest and hobbies from that into plant dying, food preserving (the rose hip syrup was so good), from plant dying into maybe light wire jewelery making as per bronze age pins or from food preserving into grain growing. My capacity is small so I'm trying not to bite off more than I can chew. I have the energy for a phone call maybe once a week with someone I care for, there aren't a lot of people in my day to day.
Just this evening I was lying here with Whiskey the cat, sprawled out with the double triangle on his belly softly lifting and falling with his breath, and I thought: I feel what it's like to love things again. Or, not things, but everything all at once. It's been awhile. Just to sit here, and let it breathe through my chest and out my skin, I remember that feeling. It was gone in a fraction of a second, and I'm not sure I want it to come back. It's not helpful for this era, for this political climate, for this situation, in any way. It's not contributory to a comfortable life. But it's familiar, and it's love, and I guess it can come back
no subject
Date: 2024-10-11 12:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-10-11 01:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-10-11 01:14 pm (UTC)