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Aug. 26th, 2025 05:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
greenstormA week till I leave. Just for a couple days, but it's longer than I've been away in more than a year, and last time it was at the very beginning of me being off work permanently for this. We're having a bit of a heat wave right now; it may lead to me having an astonishing number of late-ripening (for me) tomatoes, we'll see. It's also very hard on my body; using the tool of my watch I can see that in general when I'm sleeping or lying down I regain energy, but above 23C or so I just... don't. Also when I push things I don't, and I've been pushing. My sleep shows up as an angry orange crackle that trends downwards instead of a smooth blue ramp up to more energy, and it will continue to do so until mid-September. A messup with the doctor (their fault this time) has led to it being much, much worse, and because I have the vet suff scheduled - which I will *not* cancel -- I can't really just shrug and take a couple weeks to recover.
I can barey sit up today so I'm actualy pretty worried about it, but what are the options? None.
When I moved up here I imagined I'd go down to the city much more often than I ended up doing. It just always ends up being so much work, though, and I like to get my teeth well into a thing and do it properly.
I'm actually quite curious what it will feel like to go down without Tucker. Honestly probably not like a lot, because I imagine I'll get down there, barely be conscious, stash Avallu at the vet and the truck in one of the three parking spaces in the entire lower mainland where its eight-foot-box-double-cab self will fit, get to a bed, and collapse until I come back. I'm hoping to bring some clay back with but it looks like Josh will help with that.
I've kind of heartbreakingly been following the local pig rescue on facebook. They do seem to rescue mostly pot-belly pigs, and the pigs don't seem to dig much in the pictures I've seen of them, so they may not even take my littles. Ossabaws are small, in the 250-300lb range when fully grown, but they lovelovelove to dig, they're built for it, and Baby has the tusks. Maybe there's a good wallow that was offscreen in the pictures. Every time I start composing a message to them about whether they'd take my two I start crying and can't finish. On the other hand, they have access to, not just reliable physical ability to feed etc everyone, but they're within range for the pig vet, so there could be a deworm and a proper hoof trim for the first time in years, which is important. I'd just miss them a lot. I assume the rescue is set up to accept a monthly donation, I'd be happy to cover feed costs and if there needs to be an intake desexing...
Also in difficult news, a thing today reminded me of the multiple years Tucker and I spent dating and slowly seeing each other less and less often without having any conversation bigger than "what will we have for dinner" and "seeing you more than twice a week takes up too much of my time". The reminder was highlighted by someone else he dated mentioning online that he always had a ton of stuff he was thinking and talking about. Funny to think that will likely be the last relationship I had as an able-bodied person.
Enough of that.
The apples are slowly sweetening and the whole yard smells like apples. The dogs are working hard at night, I suspect bears but none have come into the yard. I hate to leave with Avallu in the middle of bear season and am thinking about trying to pick the apples before I go -- I can drop them off to have them made into cider -- but given that my biggest physical triumph today was standng to get a glass of water and that I have things scheduled every day until I leave, I don't have any choice but to take my chances. I'll come back and hopefully there will still be branches on the trees, and if I'm very lucky, even apples. Solly is a good girl and a big help so maybe things will be ok.
It's 28C in here. I'm going to go sit on the deck in the shade if I can figre out a piece of clothing or even a wrap of some kind.
I can barey sit up today so I'm actualy pretty worried about it, but what are the options? None.
When I moved up here I imagined I'd go down to the city much more often than I ended up doing. It just always ends up being so much work, though, and I like to get my teeth well into a thing and do it properly.
I'm actually quite curious what it will feel like to go down without Tucker. Honestly probably not like a lot, because I imagine I'll get down there, barely be conscious, stash Avallu at the vet and the truck in one of the three parking spaces in the entire lower mainland where its eight-foot-box-double-cab self will fit, get to a bed, and collapse until I come back. I'm hoping to bring some clay back with but it looks like Josh will help with that.
I've kind of heartbreakingly been following the local pig rescue on facebook. They do seem to rescue mostly pot-belly pigs, and the pigs don't seem to dig much in the pictures I've seen of them, so they may not even take my littles. Ossabaws are small, in the 250-300lb range when fully grown, but they lovelovelove to dig, they're built for it, and Baby has the tusks. Maybe there's a good wallow that was offscreen in the pictures. Every time I start composing a message to them about whether they'd take my two I start crying and can't finish. On the other hand, they have access to, not just reliable physical ability to feed etc everyone, but they're within range for the pig vet, so there could be a deworm and a proper hoof trim for the first time in years, which is important. I'd just miss them a lot. I assume the rescue is set up to accept a monthly donation, I'd be happy to cover feed costs and if there needs to be an intake desexing...
Also in difficult news, a thing today reminded me of the multiple years Tucker and I spent dating and slowly seeing each other less and less often without having any conversation bigger than "what will we have for dinner" and "seeing you more than twice a week takes up too much of my time". The reminder was highlighted by someone else he dated mentioning online that he always had a ton of stuff he was thinking and talking about. Funny to think that will likely be the last relationship I had as an able-bodied person.
Enough of that.
The apples are slowly sweetening and the whole yard smells like apples. The dogs are working hard at night, I suspect bears but none have come into the yard. I hate to leave with Avallu in the middle of bear season and am thinking about trying to pick the apples before I go -- I can drop them off to have them made into cider -- but given that my biggest physical triumph today was standng to get a glass of water and that I have things scheduled every day until I leave, I don't have any choice but to take my chances. I'll come back and hopefully there will still be branches on the trees, and if I'm very lucky, even apples. Solly is a good girl and a big help so maybe things will be ok.
It's 28C in here. I'm going to go sit on the deck in the shade if I can figre out a piece of clothing or even a wrap of some kind.
